Judge — August 6, 1887 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

public and then blew himself out of town. The local sheriff is inclined to think, how- ever, he dried up and blew away. BY OUR O'SULLIVAN, Nobody is going to get rich at the watering- places this year excepting the people who stay away from them, A PARTIAL RESTOR TION, Jefferson Davis has taken up the cause of temperance and wears a temperance badge. That is a kind of reconstruction that nobody had looked for, but it is better than none. THAT LIVELY OLD MAN. General Simon Cameron is not so old that he can’t make his tour of Europe and get lots of fun and information out of it ; but if he had waited a year or so he might havegone in the spirit and so saved all the fare. WE ALL HAVE IT, The duchess of Cambridge, who recently celebrated her ninetieth birthday, says that THOUGHT HE HAD FOUND A LONG LOST BROTHER. L araxewax - Sxthmog-gg-gth-lx str—" Exix (from the orient, over-joyed)—Wog-abeneffend.-b-r-r-mazin ahah !"—(and vee understood one aa well aa the other.) THE JUDGE'S CHARGE. WHAT HE WANTS IS SILENCE, Little Sam Cox has sufficiently recovered to be able to write letters and make speech though perhaps he would be better off if he were to retain his original sickness. THEIR AMIABLE DISCRETION. It is thought that if ever Messrs. Pulitzer and Dana do meet they will gi hh other a calm, observing glance and then turn around with dignity and go the other way. DILAPIDATION. Some of the hired-out bathing dresses at Long Branch are in such need of patches that we should think their wearers would be in danger of the most consumptive of all colds, HE PROBABLY DIO IT. Speaking of literary curiosities, we have long suspected Joaquin Miller of the authorship of the Book of Mormon said to have been originally discovered by Brigham Young. THE LESSON OF IT. A Boston express clerk awoke in the middle of the nightand sud- denly remembered that he had puta wrong address on an express pack- eupon he went out and drowned himself. We see from this the folly of too much conscientiousness; but we have the comfort of ¢ that this poor fellow was the only man who was ever afflicted REAL PLUCK. It is wonderful how courageous a young lady is in periloustimes when there is nobody at hand to put his arm around and soothe her. You may have noticed it. 1S IT THE MILLENIUM? What we need in order to bring about universal equality is a method by which somebody else will do all the work and you get all the money, and the Lord has not yet moved in that mysterious way. THE UNREASONING CREATURES. Very few women are egotists ; but such as are sing their praises away up into the top notes and hate their sweethearts because, owing to hoarseness, they are not able to reach thealtitude of that ridiculous shrillness, ‘ IT DOESN'T SEEM RIGHT. Jennie Collins, the chief nd of the women of Buston, is dead, and “ Boffin’s Bower” will probably pass out too. Death has no more respect for charity and goodness than for individuals, and it doesn’t seem to be a fair shake. what she wants is less birth-days and longer years. That is a weakness of royal blood, and by the way there is a good deal of royalty about the rest of us. HOW TO AVOID ILLNESS, The fresh vegetable you get on the farm. where it grows, is not half as ente: That i: sit to your rural cousin. the one you get in the city, where it doesn’t grow. ider when you contemplate a ‘SUMMER RESORTS. Hobb's Corners because there is no fool-bathing there. Oriskany because it is away from the deleterious salt sea air, Coxsackie because it is near the Hudson, and Schoharie because it isn’t. Buffalo because it has one of the most charming cemeteries in the state. Utica because it is within a thousand miles of the Adirondacks, from which, however, it is always advisable to stay. Watertown because it is so far away from New York, and Amster- dam because it is so near that most charming summer resort of them all. ‘SUFFICIENT EXPLANATION. StxaLetox—“ Hello, Charley ! I've hunted all over the house for you. What are you doing up bere Youxo rort—" Get married and you'll see for yourself. My wife's at her quarterly house- cleaning.” THAT MYSTERIOUS ABSENCE. McGarigle, the Chicago boodler, first blew in the money of the comicbooks.com