Judge — July 30, 1887 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Sage: THE EPICYCLOIDAL. IS a sort of a mystical curve, A kind of a sinuous bend, ‘A serpentine swerve, That requires every nerve ‘That a man to effect it can lend. The pitiful batter stands there, Perplexed by the ‘in and the “drop”; d nigh make acarmelite swear x the air chop. How little he guesses the ball Ce He watches the rise and the fall, But sees no more winding at all ‘Lhan a cobbler in Kalamazoo, He sees not the intricate curl #2 Of the ball that goes flying apast, Nor the circumgyration and swirl, Nor the spiral fantastical twi Nor the zigzag refraction so vast. Spectators observe him and grin ; The playing, they say, is “immense !” And a casual shot hot inthe shin Is not an unnatural sin In the regular chain of events, If the pitcher has sumething to say ‘anctis coke af the catcher ‘askance, nd sy ‘in eni atic way— ‘That silent = atofsof the play — With sentences hid in a glance. So study that magical leer, And watch every writhe of the wrist ; And when in its switching career You see the ball suddenly veer, ; f the tortuous twist. THE JUDGI E'S CHARGE. THE SOBER SECOND THOUGHT, the next time I give out a battle-flag order I won't do it.—G. Cleveland. , ~~ WOBODY LEFT, hia weather has béen so remarkably warm that nobody has come out. bale for three’ Weeks. . NO EXCESSIVE WARMTH THERE, “ei is pleasing in this weather to think of the angels. For instance, they: ween wear any clothes but their wings. NO TAR PLAY. David slew Golistt: but in-tliese days that kind of ib 6 ae hitting: below the belt. M CONCLUSION. @make the laws of the nation.and le songs —R. Conkling. tote ‘Up: a “THEY ART RADU watermelons." I'll Jess crawl frew dis win- der and he'p myself.” was very angry at her husband because the remedy didn’t bring abut the requisite paleness and consumptiveness. It has been remarked |,y come that this is a fair specimen of the womanly article of logic aid combativeness, ‘SHE HAD TOO MUCH. When Lot's wife was turned into’a pillar of salt she said she was no pig—she really wanted only enough to catch another man with VERY COD. When you look out of your window on the clevated train to tind where you are you discover that the station is called “Ferguson's All- Searching Pills.” THE EARLIEST MONOPOLY. Eve may have acted wrongly ;-but the truth was that she had an unappreciative husband who thought he had a monopoly of the sex to which she belonged. HE WON'T. NEED IT. It is understood that since the:stupidity of the councilmen of Edinburg Mr. Blaine says be wouldn’t give a cent in the next cam- paign for the foreign Scotch vote. IT CANT, BE HELPED. Ifa woman might wear her new bonnet all over herthere would be complete happiness ; but it is inevitable that she must go around in the dress that she isn’t fit to be seen in. * Goliies ! dis yar shed's Jens chuck full o° Good lan's | de dogs is a-comin’ and I's done gone eat so much dat I can't squeeze out ‘n dat winder, and d do' is locked ' THE PATH TO FAME, Griggs to Griggsby—"* Do you know, old boy, they say our friend Miss Smythson is the most distinguished American abroad, and is the sensation of the season in London ?” Griggsby—‘' How comes that f” Grigga—* Why, she is not admired by the prince of Wales.” HE PROBABLY GOT IT, .~ Captain Ardare—-‘' Just one kiss beforsT’ go, just one to_ soften. the bitterness of parting.” Miss Prudence—“ Captain Ardare, Iam pained by your request. thought you knew I never permitted suchi liberties—besides this att ‘a good place.” A DIALOGUE OVER OVERHEARD, The sex of the speakers is considerately suppressed. First—‘‘Isn't the Town dread ul! I should not think decent peo- ple would read that paper. It ought torbe suppressed.” Second—‘ Indeed it ought ; and they ‘say it’s got the most impro- per story in to-day that it ever published:” Both (after slight pause)—“ Let’us send out and get a copy.” DANGEROUSLY LOGICAL. Enfant terrible (in presence of the assembled family)—‘ Docs Sister Annie sit in your lap ?” Young Spriggs (terribly agitated and anticipating a breach-of- promise suit) ‘‘N-no, no, certainly—of course not; how d-do you 1-little fel- —” Enfant terrible (impatient of subterfuge, sternly interrupts)—‘* She id—you was as soft as butter, and if she did not sit on your |up NOTHING EXTRAORDINARY, Crrv covsrx (shencing country cousin the sights.)—“What do you think of the dwarf ? Wonderful. hey 1" ‘Courrry covsix—" Don't see anything very woo/erful, seen bigger ones than that !* comicbooks.com