Judge — July 16, 1887 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Sage: PUSH. H, country youth ! who shrinking stands Dazed by the The door before Then why, oh youth! still stand and wait? Obey the mandate on the plate : PUSH. Oh, modest man, why will you stand And long for fortune’s store? No one within will reach a hand To help you through the door. The only way to conquer fate You'll tind engraven on the plate: U s H Bo a may be gifted with great skill, d in varied lore, xd wine now that needs a bush ; Ani merit, to succeed, must push! VAXNIE WINDSOR. much of babies’ caps. Miss Hattie—* Babi orange on babies nd orange tod Miss Hattie—**1 wanted the blue when I came in, but I really believe I will take the yellow after all. Haven't you any yellow a lit- tle lighter than this—a sort of cream? (The clerk produces the desired color.) [think that will do. I think I had better have four yards of this. Miss Helen—" Oh, y think three would be suf Miss Hattie—‘* Three ¢ clerk.) Clerk— Really, miss, I think you had better get four yards rather than not have enough.” Miss Helen—** Well, get four yards. something is left over. Are you really going to take the blue ?” Miss Hattie—** No; I decided to take the cream, but I still think the blue is pretty. Now which would you take ?” Another customer enters, Miss Helen—** Take the blue if you like it and let's be going. It is almost time for lunch.” (The clerk smiles approval A look of blank amazement appears on the caps? Pshaw! They use salmon and light 1 don’t want four yards, do you? I should nt.” What do you think?” (Addressing the You can always use it if -) ‘eof Miss Hattie. She withdraws her hand from her pocket and exclaims, ‘* Goodness! I've left my purse at home.” Miss Helen—** Why don't you have it charged ?” Miss Hattie—Papa told me never to have anything charged without his permission, What shall 1do? Haven't you any money, Helen? Miss Helen—*1 have only enough to buy some caramels. goand get them. Make some sort of an excuse and we will go.” Miss Hattie—‘The clerk is busy showing that fat lady some handkerchiefs at the other end of the counter. Let's cut.” They cut. Let's A NATURAL MISTAKE. w cracious young frllers’ dis alnd no reg hat Fer got then! cannon balls ant your winder full pistols things for THE CHURCH NAP. “And now,” conclud- ed the clergyman, after a long discourse, “we have seen that millions on millions of people have been benefited by following this scriptural injunction.” Just then Lawyer Stubbs woke up long enough to say inasleepy manner, ** Move that the injunction be made per- manent.” SHOCKED. “Hello, Fred! let_ me congratulate you upon your engagement.” “What? I'm afraid, old man, you're some- what anachronis: Come now, ‘tain't fair to call a fellow such names as that, I didnt mean anything.” “CELA DEPEND." “I dined with your friend yesterday. Ah! there’s an idiot for you.” is ““s Oh! that depends on the company he’s in QUITE A REFORMATION. Deacox—" Well, my son, do you see any change in your father sit.ce he joined the cbureh ** Boy—" You bet ! Why, when he naed ter go gunnin’ on Sunday he would just Urow bis gun over bis xboulder and walk off as large as life, not carin’ for anyone; but"— BELONGS WITH THE MAJORITY. “Tsay, Brown, do you believe in the Henry George theories ¢” “Oh, yes; why 7” “Well, just explain them to me, will you? I'm somewhat in t dark.” “ Ah—they—well, to tell the truth, old fellow, I don’t exactly know what they are myself.” GENEROSITY. Harry, wanta dog? I've got one I'll give ve been looking all over for one, A’ ing the mat- ter with him ¢” “Oh, no; nothing except that he’s dead.” MARK THIS! It is only the unsophisticated maiden who likes moonlight nights. The others prefer the dark, genuine article.