Judge — July 16, 1887 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Siage- THE JUDGE'S CHARGE. IT WORKS BOTH WAYS. The bachelor governor of Missouri has appointed mine women notaries public, and as the women are pretty all their admirers have vowed a solem private vow to lick him in the next election. 7 STOP THAT! “Grover Cleveland will not be returned! Times in. Well, whe ment? Nobody says he will, Has Theophilus Callicott become a parrot, that he should mouth these everlasting nothings for nid a couple of days ¢ xclaims the Albany AN INTERESTING EXPERIMENT. her of ice-water ou the side-board, and burgl. will takes drink and le: you can spot that one of his pe- culiari our left-handed person ves the pitel precisely us you wouldn't, whet! 2 is a burglar or not. Try it and see, if a left-handed ve the pitcher so ONE OF THE OLD STORIES. The girl who falls in love with a minstrel is becomin to wash off th ing m: it had better y—it fades out merely to ex- hibit wrinkles and regret. (CAUSE AND EFFECT. They say that Phil Sheri- dan « Mt three days in the guard-house at West Point for brushing a fly off his nose while on parade; but the same act in some him general of y nothing of the from the fly. IT CANNOT BE. The court does not believe 1s of Boston year bat! z-lresses so thin t - exhibit the skin; because ¢ is a Boston girl who isn’t covered at regular spaces, all over the surface of her skin, with rash and moles and splotches he has never happened to see her. Loe (aL ttle near sighted) in de pot, ‘A GREAT AND GOOD NEW CITIZEN. Mrs. Langtry says she has decided to adopt Ameri he it. The feeling is reciprocated, dear child; and we feel authorized to say that if you will remain with us ten years you: will Ii the privilege of the ballot—for ‘y youth who is permitted to act as Your proxy at the box. “a because she ALITTLE MATTER OF JUSTICE. ms county, O., has an organiza- tion of men called knights of the whip whose business it is to whip lewd women, itly they whipped one of those creatures within an inch of her This is startling enough; but there isa fur worse organization, composed of the authorities of the town, which has made up its mind to let the whippers alone. % ton sight. THE APPROPRIATE PLACE. ein celebrating Independence aimed a young lady up town ng of the fourth, Let patriotism 1 It is in t y glorious n ries of the past are kept 1 would to join my. voice grand hurrah, and T would but th shrilluess wonld attract inappropriate at on the chance year. EZEKIEL DID PICK IT THOUGH. + Peale ter Dat Zek'l don’ go fer ter mol'n balf pick he's chickuns, bes’ L ken do!” ‘A DOUBTFUL COMPLIMENT. Caxpip Critic—“Good photo, Justicn—in fact it does not give you credit ANCIENT spixeTen ((n a flutter of rightenia modesty)—“Ob, sit ct it does not give you credit for the last fifteen tention. Let the cannon roar. Let the blaze "—— cracker burst in the immediate vicinity of her most accurate ear, she swooned. When she recovered she added—“I was about to when interrupted that it would be better, however, to do the cele- ating in New Jersey. At that moment a PROGNOSTICATIONS. “Hello, James! What's become of your plumes? was Mr. Gladstone's jovial introductory remark to Mr. Blaine * William,” replied Mr. Blaine with gravity, it present they are a little out of p nd I have put them in a little box, along with the battle-tlags; but I expect the boys will insist upon their resumption in 1888.” “Same here, same here!” exclaimed Mr. Gladstone, thumping his chest,‘ These things are noteveryday ornaments, and it 1s a good thing to know how and when and where to wear them,” THE GOOD WROUGHT BY EVIL Some time ago the saloons of Atchison, Kan., were closed, and it is now announced that the police of the town haveresigned Theprohibitionistsof the count will doubtless find here much material for yratification ; there would be a good ¢ of it but for the rather curious fact that the town has with which to keep up th force and that the fire de; ment is about to go down for the same reason. We still hope that the churches will be kept going: but even then the fact will remain that the liquor busi ness pays a good many of the taxes. rm ‘SUMMER CIVILITIES. Miss Noodler—"*O Mr. Slum- per! do come up and sce me. Thi town is getting so empty I an glad to see any one these times. Mr, Slumper (sweetly)—" I am in just that state myself, Miss Noodler, so T'll be sure come. And Miss Noodler feels that there is something not quite as it should be in this reply, but can't make out what it is. wdat pullet_ get mob fedders den he hed and Young Tipkins (who is interested in aerial navi the mansard roof of his ancestral home in the dis know, Miss Yoodles, why can’t I fly hom Miss Yoodles (who is not such a fe Now you you know?” Las she looks, very. quietly) re wondering.” And Tipkins wonders what it is that makes that Yoodles girls sodeucedly disa- greeable you know. PECULI R STATEMENTS IN OUR EXCHANGES. rochial Migotf is a great success with its accompaniment of incessant explosions of rel fire and hrightly-costumed peasant girls.”— Dramatic Tribune. You may bet it 1s.a success. If there is one thing that more than another may be depended on to draw it is the explosion of brightly-costumed peasant girls. “A Philadelphia woman is bringi against a Hartford man for infringing on het bustle.""—The Duily Grip. Well, considering the present size of bustles, that iscruel. If suit were brou against every man on the L road wii cruel fate forces to infringe upon a female bustle oh what litigation would be here. my countrymen ! madame, but it does not do you - HIS CONSISTENCY, : Jefferson Davis says the past is past—let it go: and then proceeds to show that it was good and ought to come again. comicbooks.com