Judge — July 2, 1887 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Siape: PUBLISHED ONCE A WEEK. President W. J. Awcrit, Vice-President Haney R Hanr Art Department Mensnand Grow Eaitor M. Gueoony TERMS TO SUBSCRIBERS. UXITED HTATES ASD CANADA, 19 ADVANCE. 82 numbers, 0 numbers, . “20 FOREIGN SUBSCRIPTIONS—To all foreign countries in the petal uni THE JUDGE PUBLISHING COMPANY (Potter Butt Park How, New York, £27- We guarantee autvertisera a larger circulation at eheaper rates than any Anier: ‘oan matirteal paper published. CRY OF THE SMALL Boy—“' Birdie wants a cracker.” AS AN ADEPT in foolishness Adjutant-general Drum can’t be beat. IN THE SUFFERINGS of Our Fritz the heir apparent is father to the aged emperor. Ir ANY MAN tears down a battle-flag paraly: him on the spot.— Lucius Fairchild. Tur THISTLE REMINDS us of the garish day. what it is going to bring forth. To THE ORATOR OF THE DAY—Be careful not to shoot off your mouth. Leave that for the boy WE MUST CELEBRATE mildly. Let us consider the feelings of our Canadian neighbors.—T. F. Bayard. WE DON'T WANT TO FIGHT; but, by jingo! if we do, we must have a decent army and a considerable navy too. You can never tell SPEAKING OF THE RECORDS of the district attorney's office, we fear Rollin Squire has been stricken from time's dial. Mr. Hewitr woutp Be pre-eminent for his ability as a letter. writer but for his fecundity as a proclamator of persecution. It 18 80 FORTUNATE that Mr. Cody is here. We feel now that ma’s jubilee lacks nothing to make it complete.—The Waleses. THE QUEEN having partially recovered from the jubilee, it is ed that the people of Ireland will eventually recover from the queen. ORATION OF THE DAY by Tecumseh Sherman—‘‘Blank the new papers! Send me a reporter, that I may orgunize myself into a court martial and hang him at sunrise.” A GREAT TRUTH—This continent belongs to Brother Jonathan, but he doesn’t want the outlying portions of it until he has the time and ability to take proper care of them: Ir 18 iMPossIBLE not to recall the fisheries question in connection with the Fourth ; but perhaps it had better be given the mild import- ance of a passing reflection. Ip any TEXAN crosses the border on the Fourth it will be well to shoot him off-hand with a champagne-cork, taking care to hithim in his ignorance, where he carries his brai Tur CZAR AND KALAKAUA having themselves simultaneously up to drin isa frightful scarcity of the t in both Russia and the Sandwich islands, Nogopy knows what Mr. Dana has gone to Europe for ; but we suspect he will be disap- pointed to discover that Joseph Pulitzer rather hastily started for home on the day of his arr WE READ WITH profound solicitude that the Bulgarian throne still has no occupant ; but on second thought there has been more peace since the vacancy than before it occurred. “HAVE WE A PARTY ?” Courier-Journal. Undoubtedly; but don't take on about it. It isn’t your fault, and besides there are those who think it is really a asks the Louisville sincere ; for the other girls protested that she altogether failed to slide down the bannisters or send off the first surreptitious letter A COLORADO FARMER who came here, blew out the was, according to his widow, in search of somebody who ws ested in him. Well, poor old boy! he has succeeded admirably “Ir LINCOLN 18 NOMINATED,” says the Troy Times, “he will sweep the country like a whirlwind.” Well, if that is so let us by all means have somebody else. The country has had too much of this devastation. LET US BE PRACTICAL. Mrs. Wilcox says that six wild colts of poems oce prancing over the meadows of her soul. There is too much of this xercising. We dare say that if Mrs. Wilcox were to be charged two cents a yard too much for ribbon she would go right back to the person guilty of it, shake her small fist in his countenance, and prance over the meadows of his soul till he wouldn't have any verdure left, But six colts—and wild ones at that! It is an untruthful statement and it is impossible to prove the half of it. ally go We MAY BELIEVE that presently water will cease to run d hill, but the story that Chauncey M. Depew will make no mor dinner speeches is virtually an assumption that there are to be no more dinners. Frank Hatton Has sold his Chicago Mail, whose main purpose it was to whack Mr. Blaine, and will do his mugwumping in private until somebody gives him another office. Poor boy! the world doesn’t half appreciate him. SHE HAS GONE. We shall miss the tearing terror of Sara Bernhardt. We shall miss her smile of love and her expression of trust and confidence. We shall regret the absence of that thin countenance on whose surface appeared more of the counterfeited soul than anybody but Salvini has succeeded in picturing. We shall miss that magnificently cultured voice, those secluded eyes, those conspicuous teeth, that serpentine tivist of body. and the tiger too, But our loss will be her gain, She takes about half a million in clear profits with her; and have we not Clara Morris and her regular prescriptions left ? SURELY THE MUGWUMPs did not complain of the president's order to return the battle s in strict accordance with their doctrine that it is wise to win a victory for the purpose of giving back to the whipped party the fruits and emblems of it. IT 18 A QUESTION whether the New York Times or William E. Chandler usurped the privileges of the electoral college of 1871 and presently there will doubtless be revived the dear old question whether Mr. Tilden had to have his food cut for him. THE CHANGES OF THIS WORLD. Jacob Sharp must ha ad peculiar feelings when he put foot in the apartments in Ludlow street jail formerly ocsupied by Wil- liam M. Tweed and Ferdinand Ward ; but hardly as peculiar as those of William when he died there, and those of Ferdinand when he left there for Sing Sing prison. This is peculiarly a country given to ups and downs. To-day we are rich and virtuous and to-mor row poor and in the depth of hun Sull, the man who behaves himself manages to get along pretty well. He holds his own perhaps for the reason that he doesn't yearn to hold any of that of the rest of us. 4 GREAT IMPROVEMENT. Your Uncle Samuel doesn’t claim at this stage of his career that he can whip all crea- tion. His now the nt strength that vaunts itself only when it is time to fight; and he is that decorous in his relations with other nations that he refrains from taunt and dresses his communications to them in the garb of courtesy and good will, however un- justly he may imagine they have treated Bie the necessary evil. Mrs. CLEVELAND was one of the girls at her old school recently, and especially re- it she be treated as such. This was same time that it was not exactly INDEFINITE, Exquinen—"Can you tell ne who these premises belong Pouiceaan (iho Ras been reading Progress and Poverty) "You an’ me, sor. av we had our roights, but jist at prisint hild in thrust fer us be John Jacib Asthure.”* The blazing eye, the search for offence, thin skin, the sensitiveness that produces dis comfort and provokes retaliation, the cock-of- the-walk strut and the general air of detiance which formerly characterized him have disap- peared and left him a great deal better man. comicbooks.com