Judge — June 18, 1887 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE'S FABLES. THE TWO boas. Two Dogs once mt on a ‘corner. One was Sad Dog about nd the other was said the uo are al poking along in 1) a humdrum way. Comeand havesomething with me. “No,” replied the other: “T touch not the Intoxi- cating Bowl.” “As we're not in Tex- as,” responded the Sad Dog, “1 will this: tim kindly refrain from shooting you for declin my good nature.” mplary Dog, looking out of his window after ast which he had picked out of an Ash-Barrel, beheld the Sad Dog with a Tin Can tied to his tail flying down the street pursued by a gang of hoodlums. f the transgressor is hard,” he murmured. all the enemies of virtue.” Then he slept the sleep of the just under the kind stars, But th he was prowling in a Barrel for something to eat, he saw the Sad Dog in resplendent ra emerge from a fashion- able re ing a Drink. But in future do not presume That night the Ex finishing the frugal rej So perish ve a Pull with the Pol the gang arrest Hene Virtue is too often its only re explained the Sad Dog. “Thad and their parents were glad to compromise f nice sum. this prosperit, ward. A FEW MORE PRINTED HOTEL “ REGULATIONS.” Eat your plates clean If the cotfee is cold “don't mention it.” Horses must not be curried in the parlors. pat flies with the table napkins, is only for proficient performers. No smoking allowed less than a mile from the house. In case of fire the proprietor before giving any alarm. call the clerk; he will be found in annex A, room 107, Next Next uscer- NO DOUBT ABOUT IT. Jack—" Ab, Miss Kate, it's the little things that tell. Miss Kate" Yes: little brothers and sisters.” OBSTRUCTIONS. in the strect)—" Talk al rs that do it.” Dowsix« (aealk' walk! It's thelr the dry-goods men clestnuct 1n for yourself where the fire is. up, Then return to your mem and Fruit must be carried to the rooms only in the guest's stomach. Do not hack or mutilate the parlor furniture with ax: re before twelve o'clock. No talkin r that hour. or hatchets Guests must re whisper allowed al above a NOT QUITE PERFECT. E was a quiet boy—indeed He was a model, and of course To ev -y word he heard gave heed And ne‘er to any one was siucy Where’er he went he kept quite mum, And ne‘er a taunt could make him bristle; Although this boy was deaf and dus Alas. the fiend knew how to wl WHICH GAVE IT TO THE OTHER? “Sad case that “What's the ? “A dog bit him and both died of hydrophobia.” * How did they ascertain it was hydrophobiat” “They had a post-mortem on the dog.” THE LAW OF HEREDITY. “Didn't Mr. Verdigris tal beautifully in the bible class thismorn- It was just like a sermon.” ~ Yes, it was fine; but such things run in the family, you know.” “Indeed! How is that?” “He inherits it, you see. He married Dr. Se the old gentleman is the best preacher in the city. THE INFALLIBLE TEST. Mrs. DeToole—* How do you like my daughter’ not think she has improved since you last heard he Mr. Doney (who has not heard Miss DeToole for tivo years “Oh, yes: I think there is a wonderful improvement. You can hear her just twice as far as you could two years ago. A QUESTION OF TEMPERATURE. “What is the chief peculiarity of the Canadian climate?” asked school examiner. “It is beneficial to bank cas “but very deadly to reformers. ter with hi ing? eena’s daugiiter, and s.” said the bright boy of the elas, De sweetes’ cidah makes de sou’est vinegah. comicbooks.com