Judge — June 11, 1887 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Sage: JUDGE. PUBLISHED ONCE A WEEK. President TERMS TO SUBSCRIBERS. UNITED RTATEA AND CAN. ce Vice-President Hannay KR. Hart O06 cu . 4m Art Department Hensnand Ota — Quecobl furisweeta io Paitor 1M. Guxoony Single coplen 10 centa each, FOREIGN SUBSCRIPTIONS—To all foreign countries tn the pratal union, $a year. THE JUDGE PUBLISHING COMPANY (PoTTER BuILDINO), Park Row, New York. W. J. Ament, 88 We guarantee advertisers a larger circulation at cheaper rates than any Amer: fean satirical paper published. lature society. WHAT THIS STATE MOST NEEDS i: Voick oF THE CONTINENT—No king, no crown shall put us down. MOTTO OF THE ADMINISTRATION a leedle.” Tue C. O'Briens. Wuit of epidemics - Be sure you're right; then sthop ‘ADA VERSION—"* Fee, fi, fo, fum! I smell the blood of the WE ARE ABOUT IT let’ us have a society for the prevention Ir 1s a CURIOUS Fact that the ‘anti-poverty society is likewise the society of anti-wealth. SPEAKING OF SINS OF COMMISSION, What curi 1s things the proceed- ings of th subway are Iv 18.4 CANADIAN Boast that the mob bested O'Br merely Lansdowned him. Tue NIMILISTS ARE selves by their own petard. THERE I8 BUT ONE ROAD that doesn’t lead to Rome. one selected by Dr. Me , whereas they professionally given to hoisting them- That is the IN ADJOURNING the other day the legislature accomplished the finest act of the entire session. THERE IS A 81 poral with the ex. PICION IN FRANCE that Boulanger is the little cor- eption of the corporal. THE PRESIDENT WIL come. Be probably. be ause if he isn't he won't catel Fatuer McGuy pope is merely a fort ood-natured for some time to any fish. ‘N HAVING put himself out, the declaration of the indorsement of his action. E PRESIDENT MADE HIS BEST CATCH just a y may, he will never catch on to anything as good aj Fish as he BoULANGER'S BOOM MUST be will do its finest execution aged with much dexterity, or it yy cutting its owner's head off. THE EXTREME THIRST that prevails Mr. Malay Tue Man in New Jersey who had seven wives wa the composite affliction, and that is wl ment of his estate. THERE AR DICATIONS that John Sherman's fences are mostly composed of barbed wire and that John has tried to go through the middle of a section of them. here on Sunday, according to »p. is enough to peel the bark off a yellow dog. troubled with t's the matter with the settle- “MR. ARKELL, LIKE ORATOR PUFF,” says the Elmira Gazette, “has two tones to his. voice.” Why be unfair? Six, wy boy—six: and three yet to report themselves. A WART, A BOIL, or any excrescence of that nature, is tolerably innocent and ex- cusable, because, unlike the subway com- mission, it doesn’t draw $15,000 a yea THAT FREE SPEECH which works for the munder of men who practice the privilege is the most objectionable of all, but it must. be excused until it commits the murder. TE Mr. Crazy Horsk, the Indian had thirteen wive That was reprehensible. If he had had the of superstition he would had fourteen at least. IT is a RE cans most s pived in Canada are those most wanted by the law of the United es, All the others are liable to get their heads punched Tur I want you to try, Bilkins.” STATEMENT THAT Sarah Bernhsnlt second foort* MUSIC vs. BUSINESS. Sawyer (a muxical enthusiast)—" I'v got a symphony in A flat Bi.xixs (areal extate man, abstractedly)—" Is it on the frst or was once a dressmaker is not reasonable. It is not known that Sarah ever broke an engagement, and it is the chief business of dressmaker todo that very thing. Iv 18 UNDERSTOOD THAT Lewis SwiFT of Rochester has been em ployed by the Standard oil company to corral comets. , The company wants a few preliminary to its greet i. of monopolizing the uni. Tue WASHINGTON CLERGY are moving to reform funerals. This need. Let them reform them altogether; and as a means to that improvement let us have no death except in the cases of the mugwumps, Lapy LANSDOWNE HAS A SWEET FACE, judging from her picture us given in the daily illustrated journal; but perhaps her mnocence would be more believed in if she would explain whether she happened to get in such bad company by choice or by coercion. “AKE THE LEGLETS WARM?” asks a reformer of woman's dress, “Again, why not?” Moreover, dear girl, why so? And if not so which and wherefore? We shall not pursue this subject, however All we know about it is that the extremities are frequently quite the oppe AND THE POT W Our disinterested judgment of the game between Go' and the legislature is that David did the best bluffing, and him and his competitors the people raked in tite pot. OUR SELECTED PURPLE. If the JupGE were to select a political king for this state it would choose Thomas C. Platt above all others, taking the reasonable pre caution, of course, of clipping his ears and destroying his understand- ing; and it would make David B. Judd his representative behind the throne. ernor Hill as between TURN ABOUT IS FAIR PLAY. Irishmen are fighting battles for the whole world. There is not anarmy that has not scores of them. Having no country of their own to fight for, they are expending their energies in behalf of others, and they are good fighters too. , Such men ought to have a country of their own, and when the time comes perhaps a great many whom they have fought for will be glad to fight for them IS HIS HEAD TOO LARGE? Mr. Minister Phelps has taken the affliction that has been visited upon most of our representati to the court of St. James. He has suffered from too many dinners, like Reverdy Johnson, and from too much inflation of personal consequence, iike J. R. Lowell. He now announces that only Americans who come to him * properly accred- ited” will be given his gracious services in behalf of admission to her ty’s court, and does it with the lofty assumption of one who has apparently been imposed upon. Certainly the rules controlling the court are imperative; but here is an ostentatious assumption of social superiority on the part of the Vermont gentleman that is so profe ly English as to remind one of the head butler. Er—by the wu the distinguished gentleman, outside of the official position he holds, happen to be prop- erly accredited himself? THE BEST OF ALL CELEBRATING. Follow the president's example. Cele brate your wedding-day by getting into the woods and catching mosquitoes and fish. Sleep on hemlock boughs. Tramp over un- even surfaces till you tire yourself out. Subsist for a period on fresh fish and salt pork. Submit patiently to the snubs of the guides and leading fishermen because of your ignorance of camp life. If you survive it it will add ten years to your life. Haven't any wedding-day? Very well; go ard bor row one from the neighbor across the w LET HER GO TO PRISON. Mrs. Cignarale, who killed her husband, survived that tragedy with remarkable for titude; but now that she is sentenced to die herself she refuses food and is in a continual state of hysterics. This is not rational. he promised the deceased individual to be his better half for better or worse, for weal oF woe, and in repudiating that bargain she gives evidence of a very painful article of insanity. It will not do to hang such # comicbooks.com