Judge — June 4, 1887 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

wliape: A GIRL I KNOW. See, she stands with eyes cast down, Powder on her tresses brown : Beautiful in form and face, Such a figure well would grace Lady’s fan or Sevres vase, Cupid loves a Watteau gown. Yes, the dainty elf so bold Hides beneath her train's rich fold ; From her eyes his darts he sends ; Both his wings, as fan, he lends, Lavishly his gifts he spends, \\\ Grants her all his charms untold. Came she over sunny seas, Wafted by some fav'ring bree: To this land of ice and snow: Fair as love's young dream she glows, In his colors, noire et rose, Is she not some belle marquise? you ask? Oh, no, She is just a girl I know ; Any morning you may meet This fair maiden on the street, Toward the market haste her feet; Yes, she’s just a girl I know. JUDGE'S FABLES. BEAR who had been most awfully mauled by the Bulls sat in his office, clothed in his experience . and a bare skin. To him entered a poin “* Be off,” said the Bear. “You have broker good many besides me. Ihave been through so many Mills in the Field that I have grown Sage enough to retire to my own Gar- rett to meditate.” The pointer straddled out and called some Lambs, whom he put in a good chance to get fleeced. This tale contains its own moral. HANSON, MR. GRAP'S PHILOSOPHY. T've see men thet ud keep everything they could get hold on ‘cept their word. I notice thet er man’s er office- seeker until he gits thar; then he’s er statesman, Mebbe it be better to be right than president, but I notis thet nobody gits near as much credit fur it. Tdon’t reckon none o’ Satan’s coal-handlers ever git a chance ter strike. There's two allfired many waitin’ fur the job. thing's wuth doin’ it’s n’ well.” Ef ye start out bank burgler don’t rest contented with bein’ a sneak-thief. ay as the sun is allus somewhar, but I don't reckon I'd git much consolation out on it ef I was ketched in er blizzard. The difference betwix er prophet an’ er dog is thet one ain't o’ no account ter them as knows him, an’ Vother ain't ter them as don't I kin pick out five men thet’s too proud to beg fur one thet's too honest to steal, an’ I'll bet my salt medder crop o' hay on it. Lm caruy, ANYTHING TO BOOM TRADE. Dacuaer vou Gorpmann & C ot habbened mit your nose, Tkey ¥* Drvuaen vor Trsteix & Co—"Ssh! I vos goin’ down ead, sellin’ overgoads. Der Yangees don’d like us Sheeuies, unt I god dot nowe fixed.” WHAT HE WAS WAITING FOR. A lawyer who made up in vanity what he lacked in eloquence noticed one day while arguing a case that one of the associate judges had fallen asleep. Suddenly stopping, he addressed the chief justice thus > “ Your honor, I shall not go on with my argument until the asso- ciate judge has finished his nap. 1 might disturb him.” “And he, no doubt,” replied his honor, ‘will probably not get through until you have finished.” WHAT COULD SHE EXPECT? Mrs. Jones purchases a new parasol at her umbrella-dealer's, but turns up again soon afterward, ook here, sir!” she complai of you less than a fortnight ago; it’s already quite faded.” “Oh, gravely remarks the dealer after looking over the unfortunate purchase; “you must have exposed it to the sun.” A COMPENSATION. A well-known miser happened to see a one-legged veteran going by. f What y man!" } aimed in a burst of enthusiasm. “How so companion, “here's this parasol that I bought “Only think how much he saves in shoe-leather.” NO DOUBT ABOUT IT. Mr. Brown and Mrs. Ferguson frequently met at the house of a lady friend. They seemed to be attracted toward each other, but were perpetually quarreling. “Tecan only account for it way,” said the hostess ‘they must be secret SHE WAS HAPPY. “Oh, you make me sic! ulated a husband to his wife after a little tiff. “Well, I'm glad,” she returned spitefully, “that there has been once in your life that you haven't laid it to the biscuits.” IN HARD LUCK. Beggar—"* Can't you give me a few cents, sir?” Pedestrian—" Halloo! Why that’s what you asked me this morning. Haven't you had any thine given you Beggar— . and Tm worse off than ever.” Pedestrian—"" How so?” Beggar—" 1 tried to rob a cou Early morning on the Bowery. ple of editors not two hours ago comicbooks.com