Judge — June 4, 1887 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

wiape: JUDGE. PUBLISHED ONCE A WEEK. President W. J. ANKLE. Vice-President Hanay 1. Harr Art Department Bexsnano OnLam in raitor 1M. Guxoony le copies 10 cents each. FOREIGN SUBSCRIPTIONS—Tv all foreign countrica in the postal unton, $5.4 year. THE JUDGE PUBLISHING COMPANY (PorTTER BUILDING), Park How, New York. TERMS TO SUBSCRIBERS. UNITED KTATES AD CANADA, I ADVASCEL “ow 20 no] Que copy one year, or St numbers, ‘One copy six month, or 36 number, . ‘One copy for 13 weeks, g EB™ We guarantee advertisers a larger etre fean satirical paper published. don at cheaper rates than any Amer- IF POVERTY IS TO BE ABOLISHED by resolution Brother George and all the rest of us are going to get rich. Do You WANT YOUR PICTURE in a daily newspaper? why don't you go and be a base-ball player? Very well: CANADIANS SWEAR great, round, blue ouths against free speech body but their lusty and tooting selves. Henry GEORGE WOULD REMIND Us of Washington but for the ad- dition to the first third and the omission in the last quarter of his name. THERE 18 TALK OF GARLAND for the national supreme court; yet, oddly enough, there is no unpleasant report regarding the president's sanity. IT APPEARS TO BE the chief business of the Canadian clergy to praise the English parliament, glorify Lansdowne, and hate the people of Ireland. p ‘ THERE 18 ABOUT AS LARGE a pull by society to get actresses as by actresses to get society, and on the whole when society wins it gets the best of the bargain. Ir Dorman B. Eaton ever writes anything that is grammatical he will immediately plume his ears and claim the right to be president of the United States THEY TELL OF A WOMAN who put hair-restorer on her old muff, but whether it started the hair on the venerable gentleman’s cranium the informer doesn’t say. Away up IN TRINITY STEEPLE is a broken window, connected with it is brief. a dog on Staten Island. The legend A woman at the Battery threw a stone at Witt a MAYoR LIKE ABRAM HEWITT it will presently be necessary to get a doctor's prescription for the privilege of staying out of church —or perhaps of going there. SEY SUBURBS were apparently created to give conso- lation to thirsty Yorkers on blue Sunday; and the grass grows in our streets in proportion as it disappears from theirs. eI UNCED that Sir Lionel Sackville-West is a fair lawn-tennis player, we would respectfully sug- ish government that it pull down its West. Iv nav! SAND chiefly kn gest to the Bri A Harvarp FRI being studied too were hit on the bh ball club and wi side by the stroke oar. HMAN the dead languages were killed by Oh, no—that wasn’t the cause of it. They base- in the IT Was A GOOD SCHEME, from a political point of view, for our y governor to nominate Fred Grant to the quarantine commis- sion; but does he happen to know of anything the young man ever did to warrant the be lief that he is equal to the posi- t A PITTSBURG SOCIALIST re- ferred to the old flag as a dirty rag, and the police had to be called in to protect him from the infuriated populace: What this country suffers from is too much a on the part of the police, be washed, w MapaMe NILSson UNDER the administration of her new hus- band keeps charge of her private fortune, Tn her previous mat rimonial experiment the husband Mr. Hoaay. Kelly's christenin’ Mrs. Hoo! chure yez brok e me, Elven: AN OBJECT LESSON AT THE PARK. "sthe same koind ov rats Oi seen the mornin’ afther hn, it's me inks the howly mother'll absholut managed all the funds up to ,the period when there were none to manage. “That is not connubial happiness,” says the madame with stern and unyielding lip. AMR. Copman of Boston died and left a valise containing about a . thousand letters from a gushing widow who loved not wisely but with an evident desire to possess the Codman funds. We should give mn: thought to preparation for the great change. The widow must sutfer intensely, whatever may have become of Codman. Governor HILt 1s a BUZZ! is trade is politics and he knows how to annoy his opponents. It may not follow that he makes friends by the buzzing, but he secures happiness just the same. _ Is it possible that the ability to buzz will ever make anybody president? There is the mosquito, It can buzz even n than Governor Hill can. BROTHER MOODY ON THE It is ninety and nine In the shade, and I Reach out for the comfort untold, While Smith he revels in luxury, And gets rid of superfluous gold; But comfort comes both rich and rare To the rooms where no mosquitoes are And we never catch any cold. CITIZENSHIP. Several American citizens went to Canada on a peaceful mission and were mobbed in consequence, some of them sustaining severe injuries and narrowly escaping with their lives. The outrages were even worse than the several against American citizens on the part of Mexico. Is it worth while to do anything about it? Does the state department think it has any duty in the premises? THE ONLY REMEDY. The Canadian ignorance that forbids such speeches as do not hap- pen to accord with its littleness is a disgrace to this continent voidably brings shame to the United States. Canada to view such villainot EASON. nd unas We are too nes business with indifference. In behalf of decency and republicanism it will be necessary presently for Uncle Sam to take up this Canadian babe, spank her, and put her in the trundle-bed of his domestic establishment, to get acquainted with the other children and learn good manners. NO IMPERIALISM HERE. “No imperialism in America!” exclaims the Irish Catholic M real Post in an article on the outrages inflicted on William O'Bri That is the right kind of talk. The French, backed silently by E land, tried to force an emperor on Mexico, and the emperor was shot. The English government and its subordinate in Canada have cried out for murder to prevent free speech,.and propose the law of might among our neighbors as it exists in Ireland. They would Irishize Canada as they have Irishized India. They would apply the villainy of coercion most under the folds of our flag. They would shoot men for exer- cising the right of free speech. That must not be, Annexation may be necessary to prevent continual insult and menace to the free institu- tions of this republic. There may possibly be an irrepressible contlict between Canada and the United States, and the doctrine may be necessary that freedom and tyranny cannot exist together on this continent. THE DAY WE DECORATE. There has come about a tole- rance with respect to remember ing the dead which hurt That the people of t bear in mind the courage of th victims of their folly is not evi- dence of disloyalty to the union they failed to break up. If they forgot their heroes it would be evidence that they were unfit for the government which gives them forgiveness and citizen ship. It would be dastardly to expect it of them, and dastardly in them to honor the expecta- tion. They have their day of remembrance and we ou of decoration; and there s) be no quarrel over the gra: the brave men of either side wh went out more than tweuly » south yez from the furni- comicbooks.com