Judge — May 28, 1887 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

4 MOF THE COURT. Arthur Sullivan having set himself to work on a serious opera, there is a great deal of fun in store for us. Great progress is reported in Christian- ity in Siam. We re- call in this connec- tion that good old hymn, “Just as Siam, without one flea.” A new women's paper is called Fresh Fields ; and we have no doubt that it prints in invisible ink the next necessity— “and pastors new.” Richard Proctor mourns the lossof the letter ‘“*r” in’ ordi- nary conversation ; but it is so low down in the alphabet that it never was uf much use anyhow. The retirement of a Parisian actress to a convent has created much curiosity. Surely they don't want any acting there. Frorence (tenilerty)—" Yes, Henry. I think I could.” Henry (arith a igh of relisf)—" W wants to marry ; soT'll just mention your case to him.” Old Mr. Hen, the millionaire, who cut his entire family in his will, must have had the impression that he had been raising ducks. The policeman who clubbed a man for playingan accordeon in the street did not act wi: Suppose he had driven the youth into the house and thereby killed all the inmates ? Sometime “ Blind Tom” will get out of the courts and make some music, and then all the judges and all the lawyers will be sufficiently poor to indulge in idleness and go-afishing. It is calculated that Fenimore Cooper had nine hundred nieces, with some sections of Otsego county yet to hear from. Most of them have written books, and now one of them is going on the stage. The last reformatory measure permits a combination of beer and music, but prohibits women. This is ‘‘ Hamlet” with Gertrude and Ophelia and all the rest of the girls left out. Acontemporary speaks of Henry Irving’s poeti- cal legs. Has there been a surgical operation, and does this account for the rise in the price of cork ? If Murat Halstead, who writes battle articles, were to wear asword ten minutes he would de- moralize his whole army by accidentally cutting his own head off. Miss Braddon, who is about to publish her fif- teenth novel, will have to swear toa novel every three months if she wishes to keep her years and wrinkles within reasonable bounds. SPLENDID OPPORTUNITIES. New annival.—" Any chances for a young fellow around these parts + Nattve.—" Yes, lots; most all chance bereabouts. Would you like to step across the street and hare a quiet little game of draw poker 1" It would appear from some recent legal pro ceedings that Evange- list Dwyer the ‘‘reformed. minstrel,” has two wives ‘AN UNSELFISH PROPOSAL. Hexny (s0ftly)—" Florence, do you think you could leave your happy home and loving friends to go into the far west with a worthy young man, who hax no wealth save his profession ? (A pause.) I'm waiting, Florrie.” |, I'm right glad to hear you say that. You see, my friend Joe is going west, and whom he acknow. ledges and seve; ladies with claims upon him. The re. formation of thisgen- tleman must have been both expensive and fatiguing. It isn’t much to say of William B. Dins- more that he is presi- dent of the Adams ex. that he was once prominentasa volun- teer fireman in Bos. ton. If somebody will put General Rosser in a cradle and rock him to sleep there will be such a cessa- tion of baby roars and whines that the pub- lic will feel safe in removing the cotton from its agitated ears, No man isso sad as the country legislator who comes to New York and finds that the body to which he belongs has closed all the wicked places. He feels as if there were a boomerang in every silent street. A blue ribbon on the lapel of the coat signifies nowadays that the wearer, having had nothing of a reviving nature in some months, is extremely thirsty. The head of the Democratic ticket in Kentucky is Simon Buckner's baby, and it makes speeches that carry the most abject terror into the ranks of the opposition. A nephew of Queen Victoria ‘burns with a desire to go on the comic-opera stage”; and there will be a great accession to this branch of art if somebody will quietly put him out. A poet says the girl he loves is a dove. It has been remarked before by other men of other women ; but we always looked upon it as a most outrageous and abominable falsehood. A woman's temperance union has conferred a vote of thanks on Mrs. Cleveland for drinking only cold water ata recent diplomatic dinner ; but it is to be noted that the vote of thanks didn’t pay the conse- quent physician's bill. Probably the next time Mr. McBride marries he will select a homeless orphan and deny her the privilege of adopting parents. Speaker James W. Husted is accused of flirting with the pretty women who visit the assembly chamber. Wehave always suspected that man of something, but supposed it was nothing more serious than a case of worms. The young married woman of Iowa who takes moonlight strolls with the ghost of a for- mer lover ought to create no jealousy. It is a mere mat- ter of sentiment, and if she never gets into more harmful company than that she'll get along well enough. ‘A THOUGHTFUL BUT INDISCREET WIFE. ‘Tramp—“ Well now, I'm playing in great luck. I'll just step inside and a take bite.” comicbooks.com