Judge — May 28, 1887 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE JUDGE'S CHARGE. THEIR-VISION GOOD FOR THE MAIN CHANCE. High-heel shoes are said to cause infirmities of the eye, and certain | oculists are said to have refused to treat patients who insist on wear ing them. The story is pleasing, but no oculist has yet forgotten his interests far enough to mount such a high-heel horse as that. THE BETTER WAY, The Newark Jotirnal, by way of relieving the big bridge, suggests: that the jumpers leapfrom the torch of the Liberty on Bedloe’s island. ‘That would certainly be an improvement, principally for the reason that the jumpers would strike bottom without having to undergo the ameliorative and retarding water. IT HASTENED HIS EXPOSURE, Mr. Pepper of Oneonta, N. Y., was so mad because he was removed from the local’ postmastership that he immediately eloped wi Flora Sloat, who had been his assistant in the official estab leaving a wife and two children and a large number of unpaid bills, Thus we'sce again the virtue of civilservice reform. If Pepper had kept his position he might have passed for an honest, virtuous man for some time to come. HORRIBLE EXAMPLE, Lady ki: daughter of an English earl, recently visited a min ing town in North Carolina, and in a few days eloped with and mar: ried a handsome young miner named Harry Bell. A large circle of English society is greatly shocked at the event; and the more so be- cause it appears necessary to put every earl’s danghter within it under lock and key. HUMAN NATURE, There is that charm in the mo- ther which only the son can appreci- ate; and there is that charm in the son's young com- panion with asunbonnet who turns her toes in and squints at him through cross eyes that he can oxplain no better but that nobody can understand half as well. This shows that the Lord rules against analysis, and finally that grown people are children of the smaller growth. ONE OF GEORGE'S DISCIPLES, * Hangin’ round your property t Yourn! Doucherfergit that de sile now b'longs ter the peepul, an'T go shegs wid it. 1 a Henry George n, an yer can't order me off my own ground ' HE IS COMPARATIVELY INNOCENT, Young Mr. Deems has brought the charge to his father’s attention that clergymen's sons are worse than the sons of others/ the Troy Press presenting it and using the son as a horrible example. Now we must defend the young man. It is a pity that he should have acquired the opium habit, but we must give him credit for this—whereas the usual bad young-man tries to acquire a score or more of wives, this one is so abstemious as to want to get rid of the only one he has. THE BAVARIAN LUNACY. Two noble ladies of Munich went to the lake in which Ludwig drowned himself and did that very thing themselves, choosing the al spot the king had chosen. Perhaps they feel better now; but long been a suspicion that Ludwig was less crazy than the people who consented so long to his ruling’and who are patiently sub- mitting to that of Otto, who is not only crazy but idiotic. LET US LICK THE SANDWIC4 ISLANDS. We cannot believe that Tecumseh Sherman omitted to kiss Kapio- Jani, or at least to make the customary offer to do so; but if she refused the offer there is still trouble, because that would be an affront to the general army, whatever her royal claims as to immunity from these little exere’ It is usual for visitors to accord h the customs of those they visit, and certainly her majesty had a sufficiency of lip to do this in the instance under discussion, and no loss to anybody what- ever. The court is not anxious for international disturbances; but the Capey, Fert is} ie -Tecumseé hs must be re- ‘spected the ‘world’over, Rosser of, the uni- veraity cf Virginia present the wish that Sheridan’ in his peaceful ride through the. Shenan- doah valley might have to carry hi rations with 7% him. It was a reflection on southern hospitality that was doubtless resented more in the south than here; but, more serious than that, it will be taken by some as an evidence that the south is still revengeful and disinclined to accept in the proper spirit the results of the late dis- turbance. But there may yet be a settlement. It may he recalled that Sheridan sent Rosser ‘ton the jump” through the valley during the disturbance alluded to, ‘That at least is the popular impression. Now let Rosser write a Century article showing that he jumped Sheridan through the valley, and perhaps this new rebellion may be squelched in the very beginning of tt. THE JUDGE AND THE PLAY. The Albany Argus has the meanness to say that Margaret Mather has deteriorated ; so we take it that the several reports of her marriage are entirely correct, AN ILLUSTRATED LIE. Coney mano suaTexpen 1 roe sorry, but I only obened der blace yesterdays, unt my pig glasses doand from der cidy Unt pit you dwo Sut dese for five cents to malg oop. From all appearances, America seems to have struck a comic opera in ‘The Pyramid” which will come to the scratch in reasonably good form when “time” is called. There isa brightness about the latest native production that is encouraging. It augurs well for subsequent attempts of our composers to get there. Enliven the first act with a trifle more jig and jingle, and the new opera is a go. Asit is, it is built upon the architectural construction of the bee, with the buzz and dreamy harmony in the foreground and the business end to the rear. This may do for the bee, but is not just what the comic opera calls for. Turn the glass upside down and let a little of the ‘‘ business ” trickle into the front yard along with another topical song like ‘‘ Once in a thousand years,” and ‘The Pyramid ” is a fixture from way back. “A SIGN OF THE TIMES. Baoaage suasten— Ab ha! here we are again.” comicbooks.com