Judge — May 14, 1887 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

wages i. Ina low down cave of the torrid India sea Dwelt a cuttle-fish old and gray. The sea-moes hung on his back in a fold, And his arms were a sight to appal the bold ; ‘And his eye shot a baleful ray, Just think! ‘Aud bis eye shot a baleful ray. 4 And so when the beamsof thesilver-gilded moon But the Neptunc bold of the trident-pointed spear Has an eye on his subjects weak ; As the monster crawled and hugged the rock, A streak, and a flash, and a blinding shock Put a stop to his little freak. Came down for the maiden’s play, The cuttlefish squirmed from his nest in the slime And with horrid arms knotted began to climb Toward the home of the sea-nymph gay, Oh, shame! Toward the home of the sea-nymph gay. HOW WE GOT OUR INDIA INK. On a coral crag of an iridescent reef, Where the ambergris jeweled the waves, Lived a beautiful maid of the mer regime, As supple and smooth as an anchorite’s dream, And she never lured men to their graves, She never lured men to their graves. Put a stop to his little freak. 3 Now the old gray squid from his cellar submarine Caught a glimpse of the mermaid white ; And his heart beat fast with an amorous thud As he leered from his den in the oozing mud ; And he said, “I will have her this night,” The brute! He said, “I will have her this night. Not she! 6. For, warned by the wordsof the hoary-héaded god, The maiden had time to think. She called from his sea-weed bed her steed, ‘And with sword of fish she caused to bleed From that squid, his India ink. How nice! : ‘That's how We got our India ink. J. 8. GooDWwIN, TOO WARM FOR COMFORT. First editor—“ Great Scott, but it’s hot in here!” Second editor—* Why don't you open the window ?” First editor—* It is open.” Second editor—* Well, why don't you shut it then ?” AN OPINION. “Yes, gentlemen, con: BLINKS, THE ABSENT-MINDED, Returning from market" Tl put this basket where I won't forget it when I get out.” y, ‘I don’t care for (hic) tobacco when Tam drinking. Most men want acigar after a cock- tail, but such is not the case with me. What do you think of that 7” “Lthink, Dumlay,” vouchsafed Featherly. Promptly, “that it must cost you very little for cigars. tinued Dumla “+ Great Scott! WHAT HE WOULD SAY. Bascomb (just returned from Australia) —" Well, sir, what would you say if I told you I had seen a snake out there that measured forty feet in circumference and ninety-three in length ¢” Darnley—"1 should say—er—that Australia does not produce good whisky. nesot was foinist spooktacles in this great counthry. Jist luk ut that foine stritch of counthry, an’ away up theer yez kin see the Minnie falls, ha, ha.” Street where he geta out—Undue haste—Falls over basket. ‘The one who set that basket there for aman tofall over should be lynched.” DIDN'T WANT HOME COMFORTS. Traveling man—‘‘ I understand this is a new hotel ?” Clerk—** Yes, sir, You will find here all home comforts.” Traveling man—‘' Er—can you direct me to a first-class house 7” CONEY ISLAND IN MAY. Inquisitive tourist—* What's that on the edge of the beach? It looks like a huge snake-skin. Small-boy guide—" Dat’s one of last year’s hotel bills.” NOT TO BE PUT DOWN. Husband —“ But, my dear, Hawkins, the jeweler, says diamonc Wife—"* You The street-car vanishing in the distance. “By gum! I believe that was my own basket I tumbled over.”