Judge, 1887-05-14 · page 13 of 16
Judge — May 14, 1887 — page 13: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page is primarily **advertisements** with brief humorous snippets interspersed. The main satirical content consists of short joke-like passages: **The Mark Twain reference** mocks a report that Benjamin Franklin drank heavily, suggesting the real problem isn't bottling liquor but *unbottling* it—a play on the idea that trouble comes from consumption, not storage. **The Texas preacher prediction** jokes about an end-times prophecy claiming the world will end in ten years. The humor lies in the casual response: readers only care about nine more winters of tobogganing before doomsday. The rest is advertising: Pears' Soap for infants, fountain pens, insurance policies, medicines (Parker's Ginger Tonic, Crosby's Vitalized Phosphites), writing desks, and tailoring services—typical late 19th-century print ads making dubious health and product claims. The page reflects Judge's mixed model of satire paired with revenue-generating advertisements.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
ASPECIALTY EARS a *quaTWOUODg ISON CULL “4 Balm for the Skin.” ie UUIYE 0} SAVIAL DT 4 o = = = = w 2 = = ~ & ~~ h o load = 2 = = sAQJUAL UV JO Ss WHERE -AND WHO WHO 1? Wire and bow to find your friends every month. The only Jab admissions and resignations. 2 RAMS THlce iz per year, SOCAL SS Ee STYLO & FOUNTAIN PENS. cdnkyiand and Penbolder combined ttted with best quallty ‘and guaranteed perfect in all its parts. a Pene from @210 accerding to alte, Holder and Pen, | mat Stylographic Yen from $n, ty mail on receipt Ofyrice. "Send for'circulars and price lists, Agents wanted, ULLRICH é& co. 106 Liberty St. New York, |The Saratoga / NEWS. / ‘A $500 ACCIDENT INSURANCE POLICY FOR 10c. Precisely, Nothing humorous abuut thet. It fs a fact pln serious, aa Jebuk can make tt Every wader of thus tisared while travellng on certaln Fallroada of the country. See bottom of page Hot thts bande For fall information, ARKER’S GINGER TONIC ‘Tag Best, Cure for Gouge, W Eran ioe amstton, Combining tno ee "thdamacia linger, Weserts a Curae over donare unknowns rattan, Penale Complainta snd the diremine'l sot theStomchs Lh Lave eysand and bowels Saratogn's New Society Journal, DISCOVERY. e Artificial Syxtems—Cure of Mind Wandering. med in one reading. Great inducements to Claees, Prospectus, with opinions in full naKo A, PkocToR. Hons, ArTou, Jopan F Bevants, Dre aixow, Wooo, ey, Mak Twars, and others, sent HOW, LOISEETE c Wholly nt Agy bo New York. thousands’ Siete heaith by tne trmely ese of Fa Itisnew Ieand strength, gute Tuscox & Co. 16s ape for pamplll Our read con rely on thi For 15 years has been a standara remedy with | Not.a secret. npaired 1 nervousness, ¢ HENRY LINDENMEYR, Paper Ware House 15 & 17 BEEKMAN ST., N. Y. ity, over-exertion ; Pedro, Bismarck, Gladsto For sale by druggists, or mail, $1, It aids in the bodily and wonderfully ntal faculties can regain their str le! refreshes weakened vital powers in old or young. Phosphite, not a Laboratory Phosphate or soda water absurdity. 5 and other great brain workers. F. CROSBY CO., 56 West 25th Street, N, Y. 48 In a recent speech, Mark Twain declared that Franklin was a sober man. ‘Then the report that the philosopher bottled Jersey lightning, says a contemporary, ‘* must be erroneous. fot atall. So longas a man keeps his*‘Jersey light- ning” bottled, he's all right. It is unbottling the stuff that does all the mischief.—Morristown | News. A Texas preacher predicts that the world will come to an end in ten years, Ten years! Who cares? Nine more winters of tobogganing yet, | Let her slide !—Boston Courier. Traveler’ sp ‘and Had Rest Combined. sine cape. i Ot nat i ineivea She asus GEOR, oe Seats sae cap uaually wore DE Stvotmune brmst: hoerox. $6.75 BUYS A COMPLETE WAITING DESK. THE “ ECONOMY” WALL DESK. 'A Model of Beauty A Universal Favorite, Indispensable where room. is, limited. When closed projects but 9 inches from wall, out of the way of the broom, ca- pacity for, full writing outft day book, r, etc. Good sized writing table. book-ahelves. To be screwed to the wall at any desired belght for standing Orritting. A onzaT stccEas, Any w Rooar tao malted hers Tor decriplioss” Send for: eatal MILLER, GLEN & CO, ‘Binghamton, PARSONS, SCARLETT & CO., TATLORS, 998 FIFTH AVENUE, Murray Hill. RY Mat ACTS & nese RAMI See sic ose mee 132 NASSAU STREET, NEWYORK. Dont be a Clam EPPS’S GRATEFUL—COMFORTING. ST ANC HOTO Geek Park Place PACE, HANDS, FEET, aodatinar ogee ocang _PAggRea eee CROSBY'S VITALIZED PHOSPHITES. Physicians treating mental or nervous disorder the mental growth of children. Young men h by its use. It restores the energy lost by A Vital It is used by the Emperor Dom comicbooks.com