Judge — May 7, 1887 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

10 JUDGE'S CHARGE. WHY SHOULD IT GROW? Somebody has started a raid against the moustache. The ar- gument is, we suppose, that the moustache was created to stuff cushions with, POOR CH As on life’s paths we walk, His fortune is but ill Who has not mind to talk, Nor judgment to keep still. THE DOOM OF THE HUB. Edgar Faweett’s play, “The Earl,” being a failure in Boston, it is thought that Mr. Fawcett will presently destroy Boston in one of his blighting, score withering society stories, and plant one of his most sarcasti poems over its untimely grav It will be remembered that Mr. Howells fled with fright from Boston many months ago. It must have been through pro- phetic apprehension. NO HURRY, He who would marry well, And so be wise, Should think and ponder on it “Till he di WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH THE CAT? It pains the JuDGE to hear the little Evening Sun announce that John Sherman is president pro tem. of the senate. Though to be sure, it isa natural mistake, Mr. Ingalls’s name being John too, But what a blessing Richard Grant White conferred upon the press when he invented that little word ‘ heterophemy ‘A CHANCE FOR HIM YET. Mr. “Doe” Wilson, persecutor-in-ordinary of his alleged papa, Mr. Moen, is not so bad a man, after all ; but if he wants to redeem himself he will succeed in his enterprise the next time he tries to kill himself. Davmacen (pleating) month.” WHAT SHALL THEY DO THEN? “Treat the clerks like gentlemen and ladies, mage in some advice to those who go shopping. There is certainly a desire on the part of ladies and gentlemen to do so, good brother ; but the good-heartedness is occasionally not necessary, and in numerous cases the clerks won't let ‘em. says Brother Tal- ‘A COWARDLY SURRENDER, The New Haven man who killed himself be by the ghost of his dead wife did a very foolish thing. Having sur- vived the lady, he really had every advantage of her. se he was haunted THEIR FIRM CONVICTIONS, Kingston lady tells of a num- ber of her sex who listened to a warm discussion in a recent de- conference and applauded the ora- tors on both sides. She con- cludes that women would never make good jurors, and in fact is quite wroth at the weak- ness of her too appreciat ters. The same thing has fre- quently struck the JupGE; but there are more women than the Kingston lady who have what is called the decided opinion. There, for instance, was the one who offered tw ets at the polls in —_ai stickin* out ail ober hi, ‘AN INNOCENT REQUEST. samples: I don't wish to buy anything "t. Thaven't time to em.” But won't you let me look at th FINELY POINTED. m dat de hoss you blowed the school-commissioner emer gency, and when they wer turned to her for a selec viciously tore them up, stamped her foot, and pulled the inspec. tor'’s hair with a will which showed what she thought of him. HUMOR VERSUS FACT. The Philadelphia News tellsof a man from Reading who yot lost in its city. That is a fint rate joke. Now if the man had been a Philadelphian and lost in Reading there would li been nothing in it, you know WHERE WE EXCEL. The record of crimes in this city has set all the outside news. papers to talking about the city's wickedness. The truth is that we have no morecrime here than other cities, bearing in mind proportionsas to But it is of a more elaborate and pol ished kind, and accordingly it brings greater credit to the per petrators, with less chances for discovery and with less punish- ment when it is discovered. ‘A STANDARD OF JUDGMENT. A contemporary holds that New York bas more female beauty than Baltimore or Bos- ton, arguing that as there is more woman here that must necessa ily be the case. The court can- not indorse this principle. The fat woman is a case in point. While the court would never criticise her unkindly, it must insist that she would be far better if distributed in sections. This is not to say that »ny man can have too much won Thaven’t seen them once this the plural number nd if that’s treason or mormonism, why goah and make the most of it. THE JUDGE AND THE PLAY. Young Maurice Bernhardt is the high kicker of the period. Nat Goodwin started in at the commencement of the season with the avowed intention of astonishing New York, but New York has somehow or other gotten up on its hind legs and astonished Mr. Good in, who now leaves the classic precincts of the Bijou to witness the smiling return of the fascinating Mr. Dixey. It seems that Mr. Dockstader’s terminal cognomen was the re- sult of choice and not a matter of necessity, he having thus been legitimately baptized by a city court in response to a prayerful petition done up in the proper legal language and thecustomary retaining fee. The general opi ion is that Mr. Dockstader’s taste in the direction of nomenclature is most abnormally eccentric. The regular season at the Mad- ison Square, at Harrigan’s, and at Daly's has come toan end, and these three excellent organiza- tions have stepped out into the open air to wrestle with the prov- incesand the inter-state commer act. A supplementary season Mr. Palmer's house is inaugurs ed by the revival of ‘Our Society The Union Square theatre gives us Annie Pixley in a new play while the Star is filled until t 1ith by the inimitable Boucicault and ‘The Shaughraun.” it de oder evenin’? Idoan* see any ha’ de fine points ob dat hess am: comicbooks.com