Judge — April 30, 1887 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

uae: DE YARFQUAKE SHAKIN’. E yarfquake shakin’ jes’ a short time gO War Beelzebuba pullin’ out de cli ers down below So ye bettah drap Kase ole Satan he's a grinnin’ Bime-by yo's gwine to hyar de trum- pet blow, Yo's lafin’ now bekase its Bime-by she'll tal have a heavy chill, An’ de ole bell in de to! °s gwine to fall down wit An’ de mill-stones go dancin’ ‘roun’ de mill. NOTES FROM AN ALBUM. One does not allow a mere acquaintance to slander those one really 1 prerogative of true friendship. cares for; that i We all have our foi- bles:only some risea them. while others below them. Vanity finds —suste- nance in everything— even the praise of fools. CAVE CANEM, “Perhaps you don't like dogs ? ked some oneof a Norman peasant “That would be put- ting it rather strongly bat if I should: visit a where there that fact wouldn't prevent my re- maining there.” country were none STRUCK IT RICH AT LAST. an, meeting dressed in black, remarked: 1, ni anothe what's up you know? ve just buried poor 3, also a Bohemian. don't mean to say he’s dead? Well, he is in luel THE LATEST WAY OUT OF IT. he—O, William! shen are we two going to be made one ?” He—"Well, Ethel, see the local artist isn’t up to composite photog: raphy: but the first day wecan run over to the city we'll see what they can spread its pall over the scene. THE TRIALS OF A SALESMAN. Lay (iche haa looked at everything i sample of the first one.” (Fact.) do in that line there.” CIRCUMSTANCES ALTER CASES Mr. Brief, the lawyer (te innocent ¢" Client—" Innocent, of Hope Im as found in your pocket; v Client (unabashed)—‘ Well, that alters the case. Guess I'll plead if L ever stole anything in my life s he saw you steal the coat and the pawn check » his client)- Do yt ourse, uu think I'd steal big relapse an’ And then silence “Are you really guilty or es look blue, put tow, arf begins to shake, de quake, quake, 0 break an’ drap yo" fro’. i "Fo! de debbil pulls de clinkers out agin Yo! dettah come befo’ de Lo'd an’ ansah fo! yo" sin, When de ole man wants his gruel He'll be aftah yo" fo’ fe Den he'll open wide de do’ an’ shove yo" in, Doan’ be waitin’ ‘till he shakes dat fulness down, Yo" bettah be a puttin’ on yo" white probashun gown ; Kase yo" kno’ all ob a sudden coons will take to #cuddi yo’ big feet'll nevah tech de grow mighty still, Pr A de power, B. F. KINO, ‘A STRIKE FOR HIGHER WAGES. Mr. NiGut, president Hoboken base-ball club (to the phenomenal pitcher at the beginning of the season) —"* What's that, Mr, Curvé; not going to sign ¢” Curve ‘Taint enough mone: is $1,000 more thi paid you last season ‘taint enough. Why, the president of the United States gets $50,000 a year, THE COURSE OF TRUE LOVE. Simpson—"1 fell in love with my wife fifteen years ago.” Kennedy—" And have bee h m in love with ever since ?” Simpson—"* Well, er- ctly. You see, e been married LOVE IN NEW JERSEY. “So you are going to be married, Miss Freck- les? Iam really delighted to hear it. Who is the happy man 7 “ Charlie Wilkins. and he is just splendid.” “How long have you been engaged to him?” Well, er—you see it is not ex ment; but I gant suit fo promise $25,000, and man tells me him sure.” pst him for Mr. in the sture)—" O, you needn't take any more down, 1 ve Just give me When an author ‘oung and would be benefited by having his name signed to his articles, the editor publishes them ynymously ; when he has earned a reputation and has nothing more to gain, the editor insists on using his name. a coat ¢ UNPARDONABLE. at are you going to do about that 7 guilty and throw myself on the mercy of the court.” DOCTORS’ FEES. he doctors charge, To bring the sick to health, Must be to them an income large, Yet ‘tis ill-gotten wealth. Of ladies’ follies each seems worse Than that the darlings last forsook; High hats, to which we're all averse, Prove one we cannot overlook. GEORGE BIRDSEYE. comicbooks.com