Judge — April 23, 1887 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Sage: MOVED—SETTLED. Here have we lived In pleasure, pain; Looked out to see Sun, snow and rain. Looked in to find Light, love and fire, The gentle wont, The moving ire. ‘SHE WAS EUILT THAT WAY. A French marquise had lost her husband a few weeks before. A caller was complimenting heron her good appearance, the roses in her cheeks, and her springy gait, Al! marquise,” concluded her admirer, “you were evidently born to be a widow!” AN UNJUST CHARGE, A place not far Court—" What is your plea, guilty or not Hath houses too; No May comes there With change or rue. The roof is grass, The walls are wet; All settled there, No landlord, care No moving van, No cheating man, No crashing glas No general smash— No house to let. » Ebony— Wot is I cha'ged wif’, yo" ‘onor?” Court—* Stealing five chickens from Farmer Yokel's barnyard last night.” Uncle Ebony (with a sigh of relief —* Not guilty, yo’ ‘onor, Dis am a pussakushun, dat’s Wot it is. Dey war only fo’ missable pullets in de ya'd last night.” No rent to pay, No reckoning day ; No neighbor's lie, Few passers-by ; No packing up To move away, Nor bite nor sup, Nor song nor cup, As there we stay. FISH AND FOWL. Mamma, do canary birds like fish?” I don’t know, my dear. Why Bertie Mamma— do you ask?” Bertie—"* Well, I heard pa say this morning that he'd have to geta new perch forthe cage.” Pray, cruel landlord, think thee well How kind the Angel Gabriel! Cease ordering up this annual slump— Blow ne‘er again that beastly trump. Good luck is better than a royal flush. REFORMING AS A BUSINESS, “You area prominent agitator in the Henry George movement ?” yu don't believe that any one ght to private ownership in “Tsuppose you make a great deal of money by your lecturing ?” at do you do with it all ?” ~ Tnvest it in real estate. COMMENT UNNECESSARY, Ne ling to trustworthy statistics, the death-rate in Paris is lightest ev- ery r during the months of July, August, and September. And no wonder! doctors are then tions. ‘AN OBLIGING SPOUSE. A conversation between newly- made husbands: “What! smoking? You didn't use to smoke when you were a bach- elon ‘AN UNJUST REFLECTION, 10 “long an’ drink, you Dexter, an‘ don’ stand yar like a fool a-licken dat picter dat way. Folks ‘Il ink you ain't had po hay for mona y'ar.” Quite true; but I've had to come to it tv give my wife something to find fault about, POKER MAXIMS. 7 A pat hand is a great bluffer. THE TRAMP’S VIEW OF THE INTER-STATE BILL. Say, cull, the inter-state bill's passed, n’ my voor sole feels eased at last. Our last chip never wins anything. The man with the pair of deuces doesn't like to be called. Now congress men The kitty never makes a big win, but it alway out ahead. s comes will be my mates As 1 go hoofin’ thro* the states : On buffers editors will ride, And actors in Never p a winning ws with a pretty woman, because she has such The man who undertakes to show a stranger how to play generally gets torn out. the freight cars hide: For this bill placed men stamp Upon a level the tramp. P, PIFER. J. J. O'CONNELL, has of NEW METHOD OF CALCUL -TING TIME. Bridget, how Idng have you been with us?” * Twelve wakes, ma'am. Why. no; it isn’t more than two months.” ‘Shure, ma’am, and we've had twelve wakes in the last two months—three on ‘em was babbies.” with comicbooks.com