Judge — April 23, 1887 — page 3: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Sage: bration he slept in his bed like a Christian, and not under it, as afore his reformation, Ix nevty TO US 11s necessary to state that all he indications point to the su ine gentleman to whom he eoeeinestill, it is a long time before the convention, and Vermont is el dark horse as the state of Tow: as likely to hi SEVEN WOMEN OCCUPY the debtors’ cell in the Macon county (IIL) ail, The law of imprison- ban Ut is barbaric. We didn't suppose it existed any- where in this free country. It ga wonder there is a woman gut of jail in the whole state of Illinois. IT IS ALL TRUE. The story that Whitelaw Reid had written, to Murat Halstead that Blaine must be devrted in behalf of Sherman js doubtless true. It tallies excellently with the report that Reid, Halstead, V and Dana had ma ine” in behalf of Blaii your uncle John nding his defences for sev- eral months back to the ex- clusion of almost all the other eceupations. Then there is ory that Blaine is as s nominated already, and we suppose that is true tov. Becwuse in this enlight- ened period nobody can tell alie. TOO MUCH. wislators of this state in mind this thing. One of the 4 tyranni auinst which the puritans kicked was the withdraw: of the right to bet on horse- It isn’t so stated in s, but that is because it was thought to be superfluous. rious fact that if the privilege of speculating in propert, in the primitive Wall streets of the old country there would have been an outpouring to these shores that would have depop- ed that continent and astonished our into their very graves. A hint to the wise is sufficient. Are there any persons of that kind within the sound of this voi GOVERNIN Th will be ra (In transient pationty “That would uot help me, doctor. every night. races. And CHARLES ANANIAS TO AMOS JEPFE! The JupGe sent the E SON. ning Sunacat. It isa young cat, however, and it is not yet used to acrosties. In gentle chiding the elder animal at the office of the morning paper recently sent these lines to the evening journal with the compliments of Mr. Pana, and they will probably appear in Mr. Cummings's paper to-morrow : Ambition lights the fire of luck, Makes it to burn like blazes, Onlains that rarely fraud shall win Such as put up the Hayeses Make much of this great fact, young man, Use oft as on you're goin Seek faithfuily Lo peel your eye, Trust never without knowing, perhaps I'll blank your eyes, Keen wit is good, I grant you, boy— Ithurts, but then it blesws. Choose that which plugs the other man— e but caresses, THE PRESIDENTS HEALTH. The president's course of sprouts under the tuition of J. Lawrence Sullivan is likely to be Productiveof much good. “I have been think- WRONG AGAIN. All that you need, madam, isa little healthy exe friend who could take you to the circus” The axe has fallen and the deadhead is no more. ing matters over,” said his excellency last week, incidental a bag of sand, scowling at D, Lamont, and j teeth so that the light of the same burned his ii find that I have a very feeble cabinet. ind one for his nob.” That is well,” remarked the Jupa mar aid his excellency appreci aged and grand ye 7 think I shall have to knock him out.” “And Mr. Bayard?” ** When you speak of Thom- as,” said the president, aiming a vicious blow at the bag of sand, “you make me mad. I feel with that man at the head of the state « flice as if every little South American republic wanted to insult us. By | ns! I’m tempted to hit him below the belt.” * And Brother Endicott?” “Don't mention hin hissed the president, ‘don't mention 1 ae | mug: wumps, but he mugwumps. too much. I shall turn him over to Philip Sheridan,” and the president winked vi- ciously. i “A rather unfortunate cab- inet,” said the JupGE with a sigh; and at that moment a girlish voice sent out a note from an upper window rather prettier than ything her canary was capable of. said the president last punch zinary enemy, the tt” —and his face was suddenly illuminat- ed with a smile—"T guess I can count on the last mem- ber that e: into it—and [ am not referring altogether - to Mr. Sullivan.” Moses Baver, who is 104 years old, has drank beer ninety-nine ad probably wanted to be born earlier in order to begin the in- but on the other hand there is nothing to show that old Mr. ah ever drank a glass of beer in his life. THE ALL-PERVADING ALCO-NILL. Analyst Tucker's memoranda say that cider | alcohe r has a slight per cent., inger beer, root beer, ginger ale, weiss beer, and certain lemon - is some alcohol. Mr. Tucker is analyst of the state board of health, and the memoranda alluded to were included in the governor's veto of the Platt bill to abolish alcohol from the capitol restaurant, or, as Jones-he-pays-the-freight calls it, the capitol cubby-hole. Naturally enough, the veto of the Crosby bi! followed that of the Platt bill; for it would be manifestly improper to put a high license on the necessaries of life, all of which are impregnat- ed, permeated, saturated with stimulants in one shapeandanother. Ah, little governor! what a lesson in temperance thou has taught us. The principle of prohibition is forever lost in this analysis; and as for regulation, how shall we tax our yeast, our baking powder, our ginger beer, the sweetened water and the peppery substance belonging to it of the hay-field, the fermented milk which is called kumyss, the “certain lemonades” and the uncertain ones too? It isa new development in temper tation; and to-morrow we shall expect, if the radical temperance people are not over- whelmed by it, to hi timid mother who, hi of some immoral tea, has thus conveyed the unholy bibulous desire to her confiding infant, ing ar into his Heetual nose, and [ To-morrow I shall give A. H. patting his back encou y. ‘And how about Brother L “Scholarly old wretch,” at his im: Tim the lady that does the four-horse bare-back act Methu: s four per cent. of rest of some. comicbooks:com