Judge, 1887-04-16 · page 5 of 16
Judge — April 16, 1887 — page 5: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
**"The Flirt's Easter Thoughts"** satirizes a young woman's shallow romanticism. She boasts of conquests while admitting she'd have married wealthier or more handsome suitors—revealing her mercenary nature beneath claims of romantic sentiment. The joke targets female flirtatiousness and the contradiction between professed feeling and actual self-interest. **"Old Chocolate's Target Practice"** and **"Little Pointers"** are collections of folk wisdom and humorous observations, likely written in dialect to represent African American speech patterns—typical of period humor that used ethnic caricature for comedic effect. **"Cruising the Mind Reader"** jokes about a wealthy widow who accepts a suitor's marriage proposal only to later regret discovering he actually *has* a mind (implying she preferred him mindless/easily controlled). The page reflects late 19th/early 20th-century American attitudes: satirizing women's perceived mercenary nature in romance, employing racial stereotypes for humor, and mocking spiritualism's popularity.
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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
THE FLIRT'S EASTER THOUGHTS. My conquests last season this Easter L rejoice every time I recall ; On my chai there was many a feaster, But I have outwitted them all. Yet, despite every prompting of duty, I fear that I might have been rash If Tom had a little more beauty Or Jack had a little more cash, What though Iam heartless and fickle, A girl is a girl for all that ! When Love's touch mences to tickla The coldest heart goes pit-a-pat. A flirt is no match for sly Cupid, Even this I am willing to say ; And had Clarence not acted so stupid Tam sure he had carried the ‘EI pi rh LECTURE : pleei Gig i Wee Papa is provoked I should tarry, He wishes off of his hands ; I'm afraid he will it me to marry Some booby with tithes and lands. TONIGHT 4 . ADMISIOQ ane IN THE CITY How pa talks as though he'd dissect * You have not a heart, ax I live! Ah well, then I phe expect me To give what I have not t ALMIRES PLACE QLD CHOCOLATE’S TARGET PRACTICE. HIT AND MISS SHOTS, WITH NOW AND THEN A BULL'S-EYE. ee ee “ COMPETITION IS THE LIFE OF TRADE.” One saddle ull fitany mule’s back. LITTLE POINTERS. Many hens cackle, that lay ne eggs. De nearer sundown de busier de lazy man. Ef yo’ want a good ‘seuse git one ob a lazy man. Yo" mus’ hab a stout hook ef yo’ fish in de deep. A first-class cook often makes an extravagant housekeeper. nding a horseshoe is said to bring good luck, but nothing is told Yo" can't ‘scape de rain by stan’in’ undah de eaves. . EVIL whose horse lost it. Ef yo' len’ a man seed he ull want toe borrer yo" seythe. Vink ob bad luck. Yo" kin ‘spute wid de mazzle ob a gun, but yo" ta who went to Salt Lake City probably De doctah an’ de lawyah allers make: Mormon husband than none at all. thought it better to hay If the legion of writers on cor were obliged to test their Dar am a pow'ful sight in habit an’ bringin’ up. Yo" can't sear’ a recipes by paying the expenses of the materials used and eating the fly wid a hammer ina pies, cakes, ete., there blacksmif’s shop. ; would be less recipes lusede= man published and a vast de- i crease of dyspepsia. Chickens just dote on Yo" fawgit a kin‘ness : corn, but a whole brood easy. but yo" allus keep \ ae Sy Ss Be ‘ will sometimes leave a wrong in mem'ry. of corn in’ the and to wander round in search of some- thing else to eat. F, R. RIALE. AN EASTER SMILE, De chicken in de shell un’ to know mo? 1 dat hatches hit. De bah kin measha, but de wine toe big place ef all « Isam got fom dis yer wol" Darerez much diffr- * ‘tween a threat an’ a blow ez ‘tween a tree an’ hits shadow. De pusson wat am allus satisfied wid twelve cents wen a shillin’ am due tim am allus po’. “Case yo" seea jack-rab- bit's track in de snow a'n't no sign dat yo'll hab jack-rabbit fo' dinnah J. A. WALDRON CRUS “ING THE MIND READER. Mix. Sorry (to rich reldow)-— Mus. Coxstaxci Mr. Sorry—" Tre read my mind, Constance, and f cannot live without you.” This sudden shock is awful, Mr. Sof ‘You must have noticed my devotion—my nttah devotion.” Mus. Constaxce—"“It isn't that, you know, but the discovery all at once that rou have a min ei Merritt, setting them up. “Well, as this is Eas- ed Pentw ckling to himself, “T guess Tl te au g-nog in honor of the EXACTLY WHAT IT WAS. Minister —“T wish you could do sometl with the choir te that constant chewin; gum. It’s dete Leade No, it isn't: it’s spruce.” comicbooks.com