Judge — March 12, 1887 — page 8: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Side: SIGNS OF THE TIMES, Ynnee A floor-watker at Lucy's, who has been delegated to wash windores, sees 'y girl on opposite side of the street, and poses for her benefit. “I've often heerd tell of the Eeding museum, but darned ‘f I'm goin’ ter pay fifty cents 'f that there's a sample “f what's inside.” An’ fer me tells me she an’ Unc’ Wilson gets dey whole pork ef she woon't take de elements ‘case I hands ‘em I spec it Il be some savin’ ter de chu’ch, ‘case she always drunk de wine ter de bottom; an’ TM put my character ‘gin hers any day, an’ de brothers an’ sisters take de vote on it. The church verdict has not yet been reached, and as the pastor is for Sis’ Isubel and the sisters for Brer George there is likelihood of a hung jury. CHEROKEE. DOUBT AS .\ SPELLING MODEL. There cannot be the slightest doubt he who suffers with the goubt So much that he can't go about, Can’t be resigned and o'er devoubt, As he, forsooth, will cuss and shoubt, And roar and yell and groan and poubt Enough to put his friends to - All their suggestions will he sloubt, Them all will ridicule In language which at least is stoubt And coarse as that of any loubt. No seed of good in him can eproubt— As well advise a speckled troubt Or porker with the longest snoubt— And friends had best step down and oubt. MAMIE LUKE. POKER PHILOSOPHY, There are more snags than spots in deck of cards. The cand-table contains many pitfalls for the unwary. Science and art are worth more than luck to a gamester. One pot of $1,000 hauled in is worth a dozen to be played for. The pain of losing is seldom offset by the pleasure of winning. Chance is a law unto itself and respects neither expert nor novice. In betting remember that a chip in time often saves nine—dollars, The post-mortem player complains the most hecause of lost opportunities, The kitty is perfectly impartial. It extracts tribute from winner and loser alike This world is full of blutfers. In playing poker never take a tip from a gambler. It is the winner who obeys Iago’s injunction to be wise and pat money in his purse. Eternal vigilance is the watchword of success. the penalty of inattention. That a dealer “may smile and smile and be a villain still” tas been realized by numberless innocents. 1.0 U checks an Honesty is the best policy. Four kings and an ace are better and safer than four aces taken from a cold deck. De as a roy pise not the hand of small things. One pair of deuces isasgond flush against an opponent holding a bob straight her, The man who has learned the folly small pair is wiser than the best bluffer, Experience is the best of going into a jack-pot with E.R. RIALE, SHE WANTED TO KNOW, The conductor came through the car collecting tickets. One of two old ladies deep in conversation took from her pocket what she thought was her pasteboard, and when she handed it to the conductor he said to her, ‘No, thank you, ma'am. I used one before I left home this morning. She looked and saw it was a fine-toothed comb. Unabashed, she asked, * Were you successful ?” NO CHANCE FOR HONESTY. Boston merchant—" Don't you think, Sampson, that honesty is the best policy ¢” Insurance agent—"* Well, no.” Boston merchant—"* What?” Insurance agent—** The best policy is that issued by eur company. A million dollars surplus. factory nor er loud mouth don’t make er big orater. ANOTHER UNFORTUNATE. r Fansten—"‘Going to try forapension, hey? ‘Then you were in the we Tramp—“ No; but I had ter read ther war news ter me grandmol an’ injured me eyesight.” comicbooks.com