Judge — March 5, 1887 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Sidge- 5 A REPLY FEMININE, OUR COMPLIMENTS TO THE METROPOLITAN POLICE ‘Was the word bell changed to she-ol with a view toward obtaining the correct gender? Lifee COMMISSIONERS. Oh, man who fain would learn s0 much In reference to gender, I would some woman wise enough A true reply might render. But, ab! you ask too much of Life. Be patient if you can, sit No doubt when death surprises you Sheol give to you an answer. ___ MRS, GEO. ARCHIBALD. SHORT SAYINGS OF PROMINENT PERSONAGES. No noose at all is good news.—Spies, Par- sons, et al. Look (out for the cops) before you leap.— Lawrence M. Donovan. Gib me libber feat or gib me deff.—Uncle|_ Permit us to suggest a suitable spring uniform *Rastus Linkum Smif. for the city’s finest. I cannot sing the old songs unless that THE CONTEMPORARY AUTHORITY. table is removed.—Mme. Fursch-Madi. The Epoch has some very good contributors, Tho-be, or not Tho-be! That is the ques-|and some that are not as good as they have tion before the house committee on contests.--|industriously cracked themselves up to be, Speaker J. G. Carlisle. But in the excellence of its love of the times Fatherless, moneyless, sadly ‘troam: that are no more and its magnificent dislike of No one to pity me; driven from Moen, __|the period that is the Zpoch deserves encour- be — Doc” Wilson, |#ement. By the way, which epoch ? When glowing eyes look love into our own, SD PTL Rial The Chicago Rambler is dead. It has ceased > When friendship has to something dearer COMPARATIVE SINS. its weary walk and turned its toes to the spring- grown, ; ; — ing willow. It was too good to live; we wish And life for us holds promise pure and sweet, 2 ES, I wusatchu’eh | it might have been said that it was too good to Oh, throbbing hearts! / Sundy. Wus yo’, | die Oh, joyous pulsing hearts that fall and ri | 5S Sie! Chahlotte 1 |. ‘The Brooklyn Magazine is to be known ax When music sounds a merry roundelay, y vo NOs Cat w ite l the American. The name isan improvement ith and beauty dance the hours away, | / H ‘oman nebbah gotl rot it now get out of Brooklyn, and byt And happy smiles beam out through happy eyes, yn, Oh, joyous hearts ! my new princess | and the other sign it will eventually conqu dun, an’ war nt ee eer a pe x oin’ in ole he San Francisco Wasp apparently tried to Oh, suldened. sighing hearts that sink and swell Hi goin (dar i sling vith itr locth, errd Ie odposeuvaiee len When. swords sre gpoken ever to semis iy) “Well, yo' orter | Unprotected tail. Tt has perished, and but for Whes foolish tears sure tote Sen see : been dar.” this announcement there wouldn't be enough Kod mientory annie for Beps Spee i Geariai “What fo'?” of it left to make a country funeral in hay- Oh, saudened hearts! <seusae dag! wat | Ome. ‘Cindy Johnson back in de chu’ch, *hine all de |sistahs, She can't sing ner pray; neider shout] good words of the Critic, but it expects never *twell way yonder arter C'rism to get the time or space necessary to do justice “Um—um, my Lord! How dat happen ?} to that interesting subject. Whut she done ?” “She ‘mos’ cussed.” “Oh, my! yo’ don't say. But I nebbah did hab much faith in ‘Cindy’s ‘ligion~ she wus jis’ three days a mo'ner. Whut wus hit she sed 2” “She wus settin’ up dar ‘hine de stove by Sis’ Ca’line Day an’ she tookin’ whispa'hed out Oh, mocking, measly |S0MeF loud while Caleb wus preachin’: “Sis " eartel Fheld 4 | Ca’line, dinged ef I ain't gwine toe hebben. flush, | An’ Caleb heered ‘er, an’ tulned ‘roun’ an’ ax Heleanedacrossthe |Whut she said, and she took an’ tole um, table with .a |‘ Yes, she did say hit, an’ she gwine to say hit grin ergin when she wanter.’ An’ den he called And raked the tick- | up de deacons an’ sot her back right dar.” et for my ulster ‘Caleb am de bes’ pasture evah we is had. in, Whut he dun wid Ella Seevel "bout dem close “Gainst aces four you | she took an’ stole?” weren't wortha The Jupae has it in mind every week to say THE END OF THE TOBOGGAN SEASON. “Oh, dey gin her de improvement ob de chu’cb.” “Why ? Wut’s dat ?” — “Tole her she mus'n’ bring approach on de FIRST IMPRESSIONS ARE LASTING. chu’ch, an’ nex’ time she want anything “It will be a bad thing for the country,” | White fokeses is got toe wait twell it wus good remarked Mrs. Merritt, “if these anarchists | dark ‘fore she went ater hit.” are hanged and made martyrs of.” “We've got de right pasture at a Bis “Not a bit of it, my dear,” ‘Liza. De goats ull cum out from de sheep| - —— Merritt. “It doesn't uP ees ld now. Les’ gib him er fesserval on de nex’ HIS VOCATION MISTAKEN. thee > Jeng st we fiet malo‘ an Yezanspla of ero oughter hole up his han’s.” Type-setter—'* I'd like a position at the case ——— “ Good bye, Sis’ Charlotte. in your office.” = : The biggest man hasn't always th biggest ca 9 3 wo Fe of newspaper—"* What's the mat- ig te]. a é , ‘ k God. ‘oreman ‘pape N i heart, i Sook 8 Acer ©. | ter with the blacksmithing business ¢