Judge — February 26, 1887 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

FORCE 0! F HABIT: Boot-BLack—"* Shine, boss #" Judge’s Charge. THE WRONG EXPLOSIVENESS, The man who proposes to blow up Patti doesn't belong to the right sex; otherwise he wouldn't have to borrow a bomb, ‘A FINE EXAMPLE. They speak frequently of judges who lay down the law. There are about ten million lawyers in the country who ought to be pre- vailed upon to do the same thing. LET HIM PUBLISH HIS INNOCENCE. One W. T. Coleman of California has the JupGe's sympathies; but perhaps if he were to come out in a card to the effect that he is as guiltless as Uncle Holman was, all might yet be well. _ ROBERT'S POSSIBLE BOON. Robert Browning says he feels forty and not aday older. If Robert might confer that plea- sure upon his admirers how happy we should all be—and really it would take not more than twenty foot-notes to the page of him. IT OVERPOWERS THEM. Colonel Higginson says men are more rer- vous than women. That be, but unhap- pily they have not yet learned how to escape the penalty; and that is twice queer because some of them have reached the years of discre- tion. ACCEPTED WITH THANKS, A writer proposes that a prima donna whom society wants to pet shall give society the cold shoulder. If the court were society he would accept it with pleasure, merely insisting that he should have the whole of it and no tempor- izing. THE LAW OF THE GOSPEL A contemporary says the Christian rioters of Belfast have one thing wherewith to congratu- late themselves—there are no detectives there to shoot the children. The contemporary for- gets that every truly religious person in Bel- fast feels himself empowered by the Lord to act as a detective and kill all the women and children that come within the circle of his in- spired club. Aclerk who had been employed in a Prov- idence store for seventeen years owned up the | other day that he had been stealing for sixteen years and ten months. His conscience got to troubling him at last.—Detroit e Press. But he must be retained. He has been a good and faithful clerk according to that ab- sence of investigation which the civil-scrvice law demands, and in all general law his con fession amounts to nothing without absolute proof as to its correctness. How foolish 1 however, to confess! He might have kept his office all his life and handed it down to his presumptive heir. SHE FIGURES HERSELF. It is established in Chicago that a wax figure of Van Zandt cannot be legally put on exhibition; and really, as long as the modest lady, who objects to it, is willing to exhibit the original, the wax would seem to be wholly superfluous, LET US GO Stow. A Somerville (N. J.) dispatch tells of an old gentleman who started across-lots fora funeral and died before he got there. Th: comes of being in too much haste. Thi inal funeral would have answered the old gen. tleman’s purpose far better, and if he had started for it by the regular route he wouldn't have created any false impressions. : EXPERIMENTING WITH THE MIND, Mr. Bishop read the mind of the landlord of acountry inn to most excellent purpose re cently, ‘‘Ah!” he exclaimed, wringit hand of the old gentleman; ‘I see you have been expecting me. You are saying to your. self at this moment, ‘He wants the best in the house, and is willing to pay a fair pric You are considering fresh eggs, young real milk, genuine coffee, spring lamb and all that sort of thing. Well, go ahead, old fellow; only give us the best and plenty of it.” The good host remarked to himself, ‘* Wonderful, wonderful!” and in a brief space of time W. Irving dined like a king and paid for it as rea- sonably as if he had been a pauper. And yet they say there is nothing to speak of in this amusing pastime. MR. PLUG HAS BEEN STARTING A GALLERY TOO. “Ab, they can talk about their Geromes and their Monkeycheese as much as they like, but that’s my idea of what is what!” Comicbooks.com :