Judge, 1887-02-19 · page 10 of 16
Judge — February 19, 1887 — page 10: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
**"The Modern George Washington"** is a humorous poem mocking the famous (likely apocryphal) story of young George Washington confessing to chopping down his father's cherry tree. Here, a boy named Johnny destroys a cherry tree but then lies about it—inverting the moral lesson. The satire critiques false patriotic mythology by showing what actually happens when children *don't* confess truthfully. **"Cautious Consideration"** depicts a servant interviewing for a position, explaining he won't take the job if the employer has no money because he "never want[s] to make trouble between man and wife"—satirizing servants' awareness of domestic quarrels over finances. The page also contains brief commentary on contemporary issues: Canadian-American tensions, Chinese gambling arrests in Brooklyn, and a college oratory contest where a woman (Mary D. Sibley) outperformed a male competitor, prompting outrage that the magazine mocks as absurdly ungenerous.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
10 Mudge: THE MODERN GEORGE WASHINGTON, ‘Though trees, by twenties, on the land Of Farmer Green did thrive, Yet one of all was much disliked By Johnny, aged five. CAUTIOUS CONSIDERATION. ‘This was a little cberry-tree— A shrub, all dwarfed and shrunk— And ft was Johnny's main delight To hew its shriveled trunk. So every evening, just at dusk, When daily work was done, He'd grasp his hatchet very tight And start to have some fun, A chop or two was all he'd make, ‘Then lay the hatchet by: For soon would come bis papa’s voice Like thunder from the sky ‘Then quickly to the parent root M1 he thee, afraid that pa At last one night the crisis came, For papa knew the fact ‘That with the edge of Johnny's axe ‘he cherry-tree was hacked. He called for Johnny in a tone ‘That woke the echoes round; And Johnny felt as if he weighed About a half a pound. “Who cut that tree 1" the father yelled, A-reaching for his boot; ‘Then Johnny knew the ‘To answer or to scoot “I did not chop the tre His father stared at b 4 LARD, Servant—“ Be ye ov a jealous timperament, mum?” > Lapy (iith a cold stare)—"* Why do you ask a SeRvayt (applying for situation)—* ‘Cause if yez be no money would timpt me ter cum, fur | tdge s Charge. niver want to make trouble betwane man and woife. THE OBLIGATIONS OF TO-DAY. =, as ~ ~ —— =a 5 than this government can aff aay a is | pi * “ — ae Mr. Manning goes back a hundred years to | inoment. ment can afford to pay at this ging a grave. “These Mongolyuns must | show that the United States had better be cau- ——- gotunder, tious in their relations with Canada. His re- PRESERVE THE LAW. | view does him credit; but the truth is that the | Seventy Chinamen arrested in Brooklyn for wanton adian insults to our flag last sum- | fan-tan had $62,000 in cash on their persons, | Glynn is churched for meddling with politics mer had their origin in a recent enactment The law acted promptly and efficiently. “Jump | Do these things consist ? that was obviously meant for insult, and that | his d—d claim!” exclaimed the Californian of —<—= paid no more respect for treaty obligations the Chinaman who had struck a mine in dig- ONE OF THE GRASS KIND? A few doors further on was a widow, with three —_———_ ——_—_— - | little children, who were playing on the floor. e was out of coal and could not buy any mc | as her husband had been out of work this fou weeks. —World, ‘STATE AND CHURCH. The pope supports Bismarek, yet Father Me- This appears in a descriptive article on the | distribution of charity coal. It is comfortin: to know that the widow's husband was hand, even if he had no work; because if he had been dead a number of years the condition of the three littlechildren might have been ex- tremely perilous. Ah, what a curious world it is! LET US BE MAGNANIMOUS, One Mary D. Sibley has won thé first prize for oratory in the Buchtel (they used to spell it buck-tail, or buck-eye) college, in Ohio one Harry C. Morris, her principal competitor, ' offers to bet $1,000, his papa furnishing the money, that she can’t beat him in an oratoric:! contest in which they two shall alone partic pate. It is highly reprehensible in Miss Sib ley to get out of her oratorical sphere, the same being the subdued oratory of the parlor, with an audience of one; and yet, somehow, the court has sympathy with the chivalrous youns students of the college who hounded young | Morris and his papa out of town. It must never be said that a mere woman can win any prize against any male competitor; but, if that ‘consummate humiliation is accomplished through any kind of miraculous interposition. the sufferer must bear himeelf with patient + Don't yer be askeert, mum ; he may jump at you an’ knock you over, but his teeth is worn | dignity or submit to the punishment appr” down to stumps.” priate to the dog with a sore head. comicbooks.com