Judge, 1887-02-12 · page 5 of 16
Judge — February 12, 1887 — page 5: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several satirical pieces typical of late 19th-century American humor: **"Old Chocolate's Target Practice"** presents racial dialect humor (common but offensive by modern standards), offering folk wisdom in exaggerated African American vernacular—a format Judge frequently used for philosophical observations. **"Chivalry"** jokes about children misinterpreting parental instruction: Tommy takes Willie's apple because his mother told him to always support Willie. **"The Modern Marriage"** satirizes marital disillusionment—a servant expresses shock that a master kissed his wife after two years, suggesting affection typically dies quickly in marriage. **"The Work of a Fiend"** (cartoon) depicts Custer's Last Ride as a Wild West show spectacle, satirizing commercialized entertainment of frontier violence. **"An Unexpected Valentine"** presents ironic romance—a man anticipates a love letter but discovers it's his tailor's overdue bill notice, a common comedic trope about disappointed expectations. The overall theme emphasizes disillusionment: lost romance, betrayed hopes, and harsh realities beneath surface pleasantries.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
BEWARE! «: Valentines are now used in breach-of promise cases."* «Thou art the darling of my heart, from thee may I never part. thou ever be the light ke the path of life more bright.” And as she read these tender lines, Write one of her valentines, She sweetly smiled and murmured low, “Lye got the bulge on Harry now.” F. 8, Mt. OLD CHOCOLAIE'S TARGET PRACTICE, Hit and Miss Shots, With Now and Then a Bullseye. De ox cuts a bad figgah on de race track. De han'somest shoe ull git down at de heel. Some stan’ misfawchin’ bettah’n oddahs Jo prosperity. Stealin’ am on'y half a trade. De oddah half am hidin’. Wren yo' let a beggah fill his basket he t got a biggah one. swears ‘case he a’ Dar er toe many in dis wol’ dat 'magine dey’s gwine toe be lonesome in heaven. A caapet-tack wrong-eand up offen calls ‘tenshun toe de impohtance ob small tings. Toe praise a man aftah he's dead am ez useless ez nickle-platin’ de handles ob his coffin. Pleasha am fleetin’, au’ pain am allus wid us. De rose dries up an’ blows away, but de thohn still sticks toe de brush. Ef we didn’ strike a little haad luck now an’ den, we wudn’ know how toe ‘preshate de honey widouat de buckwheat cakes. Dar a’n't but a mighty few tings yo’ kin do well ina hurry. One ob um am gittin’ away fom a man dat wants toe fight. J. A, WALDRON, CHIVALRY. Mother—*Why, Willie! what are you crying for?” Willie—"Cause T-o-m-m-y__ too-k apple wha-t you gave m Mother— Tommy, Iam ashamed of you. Why did you take Willie's apple 7” Tommy—"'Cause you told me I must always take Willie's part.” my THE MODERN MARRIAGE. Maid-servant—" What do you think?| “ The master kissed the missus th after two years of married life Man-servant—‘*Great heavens ! she looking ?” morning, wasn’t THE WORK OF A FIEND. C such yells of approval as we passed the clubs.” LLY—“T knew we should make a sensation, Gwendoline, but I wasn't prepared for A TRAMP STOCK-BROKER. A stock exchange not conducted on strictly honest principles. AN UNEXPECTED VALENTINE. ‘Tis a dainty little missive, And the tinted envelope As I look at it a In my fluttering heart a hope, Half deferred ; but as delightful ‘As its perfume delicate. Then the unique crest I notice, And the post-mark, and the date. Hope grows bolder—cries “A message From the maiden you love best. ‘Tis a valentine, and she has In it all her love confessed.” Then I mark the superscription, Tenderly I scan each line; Fancy the fair hand that traced it Wonder if it’s really mine; With a lover's fond foreboding Question what it will reveal, And if all its charm will vanish When I break the pretty seal. But my heart cries, “No ; this letter Will your darling’s heart betray.” What is this? ‘Tis from my tailor! “Last year’s bill, sir, please to pay.” THAYER ROUSE.