Judge — February 5, 1887 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE STRONG-MINDED FEMALE.) — She does not seem like other | girls, Whom you and I delight to know ; Her mien is haughty asan ear!’s, | Her bosom frigid as the snow ; She scorns her lover's joy | and woe; Her heart is silent as a pall ; She's not like other girls, and 80 She never told her love at all. About her head there are no curls, That lovers like to fondle so; She is no slave to fashion’s whirls, And would not show her charms—ah, no! | Because she has no charms to show ! The gallants flee her beck and call For others ; this is why we know She never told her love at all. She does not act like other girls, In whom the passions ebb and flow ; She apes the man the while she hurls Anathemas upon him. Oh, That ever woman should do so! No wonder—since within her thrall There languishes no pleading beau— She never told her love at all. ENVOY. I guess poor man can stand the blow Of her sharp tongue’s most bitter gall, So long as she through life will go And never tell her love at all. J. J. O'CONNELL, “Why do you wear your low-necked dress to the theatre ?” asked a sensible woman of her butterfly sister. “To please the men, of course,” was the vain reply. “And don't you think you would succeed better,” said the other, ‘‘ if you removed your | hat instead of your waist ?” THE NEW SCHOOL OF PUGILISM. “Thave a friend who is an expert boxer,” remarked Merritt. “A professional pugilist ¢” Brown. “Oh, no,” was the reply; ‘he is a member | | of the stock exchange.” inquired old | A MATTER OF FACT. “What do you consider the most difficult thing in the world ?” asked an inquisitive old lady of the president of a college. “Ah,” sighed the learned man, who had a family of grown-up daughters, “the most dif | cult thing, I find, is to convince a woman that she should wear her old stockings on a muddy da; | JUST AS USUAL. Boarding-house mistress (affably)—“ You | must excuse the crumbled condition of the | cake, gentlemen; the cook used so much but- ter that she has made it too short.” Brown (sadly)—"* That's the way we gener- ‘ally find it, ma'am.” ' 10 DOUBT OF IT. | NICE LITTLE WAR PAPER. “Yes,” said the major, waxing cloquent in his stories of the war, “I remember when I was but a private in the ranks that one day a party of us crept up on a ‘wild-vat” batter Just as we were preparing for a final rush to capture it they opened on us with shot. Our captain, a hot, enthusiastic fellow, saw the sit- | uation and jumped on the stump of a tree, waving his sword and crying, ‘On, men, on! Liberty or death!’ and then he fell, pierced by a bullet.” “And what did you do?” broke in a voice, “What did we do? Oh, we took the hint, We preferred liberty and turned and ran.” It is said that muffs two separate places for the hands are being introduced this season; but the young ladies who are fond of skating and sleighing prefer the old-fashioned kind, where the hands mect in the middle. HE GOT ‘EM. - “That isa very fine shoe and fits you very well.” ‘An’ how much do ye ax for thim ?” “T will let you have them for two dollars a ir, and”— “Two dollars a pair, is it? Well, not much! O'ill give yea dollar apiece.” T have often noticed a train with the con- ductor asleep, but it has been always going in the wrong directi UNKIND ALL AROUND. Mrs. TeMpest (after an unumally unpleasant seance with Mra. Tempest, jr.)—“1 hoped, my son, that when you chose a companion you would at select an amiable one.” Mr. Tempest, JR. (in desperation)—“ I think I must have taken after the governor.”