Judge — January 1, 1887 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Supe: PUBLISHED ONCE A WEEK. Parpenicx W. Nosreaxp TERMS TO SUBSCRIBERS UNITED STATES AND CANADA. I ADPANCE. ‘One copy, one year, or 2 numbers, . ‘One copy, six months, or 28 numbers, One copy, for 18 weeks, Single coples 10 cents eact THE JUDGE PUBLISHING COMPANY, POTTER BUILDING, Park Row, New York, £97 Jovor ts for sale regularly at the American Ex-| chango in Paris and the American Exchange tn London. | ‘THE BEST OF THEIR KIND—Jimmy Husted’s farewell tours. | To FREE-TRADE CONGRESSMEN—If at first you don’t succeed, fly, fly aj Ir THERE WERE NO BRIBERS there would be no bribed. How is that for a Tupperism, Jacob Sharp? ARTICLE ON arT—In making New-year's calls late in the evening, remember that thrice armed is he who is not on a bust. WHEN THE PEOPLE WANTED Grant he never failed them. Now that the memory of the hero wants the peopie will they fail him ? AN EDITOR IN CHICAGO confessed that he had read Tennyson's latest, and the very next day | they had another shock of earthquake in South Carolina. JAEHNE TO McQuape.—* Hah! Happy New- year! What'll you have?” McQuade to Jaehne —'Same to you. About five years and a small fine THE JURY FIND that the Campbells must con- | tinue to live together. That isn’t quite as bad as the penitentiary or the scaffold, but it is a terrible punishment. IT HAS CosT over $200,000 to send two bood- lers to Sing Sing. Let justice be done though every lawyer become a millionaire and the city become bankrupt. THERE IS IMPROVEMENT in the case of Sam Cox. He has given up joking. That means, of course, that there will be no more of those absurd speeches in behalf of free trade. A Cuicaco RGYMAN says he would as soon go toa disreputable house on invitation as to the opera. There isa frankness of confes- ‘Taylor is no English aristocrat. He has only twelve or fifteen wives. He is merely a Mormon. THE PRESIDENT, if we may believe the Brook- lyn Eagle, has rheumatism regularly twice a year. This a breach of the civil-service regula- tions which must be looked into. We have always suspected that man. Some CHICAGO CLERGYMEN patronized the ballet the other night, and went home com- pletely disgusted. We told the National opera company before it went west that it must get prettier and plumper girls. WHEN THE LATE MR. SoLomon declared there was nothing new, the inference being: that nothing of that kind was possible, it is believed that he nurtured a mental reservation with respect to the JupGe’s word contest. IT HAS COME TO BE a custom to ridicule New- year’s resolutions. The JupGE will do nothing of the kind. The average man makes resolu-| tions only once a year, and that evidence of progress, feeble as it is, must not be denied him. Let us BE FAIR. The Buffalo Express makes Grover remark “Yaup” in reply to a question by Mrs. Cleveland. And that is mali. cious. Grover really understands the English language, and his affirmative is invanably “Yep.” Henry WATTERSON Says he wears nobody's collar. We cannot permit Henry's modesty to go to that extreme. The collar has not the length of Mr. Cleveland's, but it is really worn by a live man and it is long enough for all practical purposes. SovuTHERN DAKOTA CONTEMPLATES a war with the purpose of forcing her way into the union, Here is an erring sister of a brand- new kind. Her secession is coercion; and whenever a state wants to do that sort of thing that is the way to do it. THE GRANT FOND—THE WORD CONTEST. The Jupoe’s plan in behalf of the Grant monument fund has created an interest in this city, and the country through, which amounts toa genuine but thoroughly legitimate sensa- tion. When one can help along a good cause and at the same time add to his own amuse- ment, meanwhile producing a chance to win a considerable sum of money, he has achieved the hitherto difficult task of capturing three THE ACME OF ANGLO-MANIA. “ Barker !” “Yes, sir.” sion here which is greatly to be regretted. ‘THERE 1S TALK OF arresting John Taylor of Utah for bigamy. That will not do. Mr. ¥ % “Bring me some chopped ice, a bottle of soda and some bromide.” “Yes, sir; but I beg pardon, sir, you weren't drinking last night.” “No; but the prince of Wales attended a big dinner and I feel awfully rocky this morning.”