Judge — December 18, 1886 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

struck a paiindrome point. Thus the labor | troubles and the fall of one of their leaders | made me hiss, ‘‘—s no riot, O Irons.” Ladies were shocked by my uncalled-for observations. ‘A particularly reprehensible case occurred in a Fifth avenue stage, when I broke in on the | animated conversation of a bevy of beauties | with the appropriate but unfortunate query, | ‘He now saw madam was won, eh” And so it went on until my poor brain was nearly shattered with struggling nonsense for all sorts of situations as suggested in ‘No, I nip a pinion,” ‘ Nail a timid dim Italian,” ** Live, leper; time, remit, repel, evil,” snd even worse. I was at length about due at Bloomingdale. How did L avoid that dread resort of the plague- stricken mind? But first let me asx, ‘Reader, have you ever been under the fatal influence | of the palindrome” No? Then shun it for. | r. Avoid such words as ‘‘star,” “mad,” | “gander,” “murder,” and the like, as you | would a bill collector. But if you should get | in the toils, now that the evil is rampant, take my advice; there is but one reliable antidote ; | do as I have done—study Russian, That lan- guage is incapable of the palindrome. It may | dislocate your jaw-bones at first, but it will | save you in the end. W. T. CALL. | OLD CHOCOLATE’S TARGET PRACTICE. Hit and Miss Shots, with Now and then a Bull's Eye. Dar a’n't no med’cine fo’ de man bawn a foo. Sometimes yo" bettah resk de dog dan run in | de dak. De small man am de proudes’ w'en he sees ‘is shaddah. De pusson mos’ willin’ toe doa job am gin'ly le one yo" doan’ want. | “Merry C’rismus "am pleasant toe de eah, but de po’ widow ruddah hab a scuttle ob coal. J. A. WALDRON, THE CH—C-—GO G—L. The shoes are low; The pointed toe Has tips of patent leather. Her gown is gray, Alack a day! Her glance is more demure Than that of nun, My heart it's won— For her I'd death endure! Her jacket tight Has buttons bright And hood with silken lining ; Her bustle’s size, To my suprise, To dreadful length’s inclining. Her turban flings Its soaring wings In manner pert and saucy Right in my face, And tries a race With my hat, high and glossy. Her dainty hands My glance command As ‘round my arm they flutter; Her pretty feet ‘The kids are gray, My glances meet, As in and out they twinkle ; The stitching is quite utter. They proudly pace Wo pace ions? ‘eath clouds of lace My heart wong Clad in the latest wrinkle. esis out candela Soft silken hose As I glance down Those feet enclose Why do I frown? In fair or stormy weather ; The girl is from Ch—c—go. uM. M. BOARDING-HOUSE MAXIMS. WHAT HE vACKED, Don't imagine that the man who comes in at| Fond mother—‘‘Isn't he a beauty? and daybreak on Sunday has been to early mass. | only lacks one thing of being the exact like- as Traree .__| ness of his pa.” Never instruct the chambermatd not to mis-| Dien And that is"—- lay anything, for the moment you point out A A Snals) cote to her an article you are constantly needing) me Tommy (interruptingly) — “False she will fix things so you will never be able! ‘ _——— to find it when you want it. | The best fruit is always out of reach. Crazy MUSTARD PLASTER (a Sioux chief, otherwise known as Teddy PALE-FACED MOTHER—“ You waltz right into the Noonan)—* Ugh! does the Sioux brave hear his enemy, the hated pale house, and the next time I catch you tearing up my face, coming?” (He does.) feather duster I'll whip the life out of you !” comicbooks.com