Judge — November 27, 1886 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Sidpes CURIOSITY REBUKED. Y the of a char wheel a traveler, who was ed village, was soon) surrounded by al group of gaping countrymen. “What is the has prostrated a portion of your number?” said the morose trav- eler. “There be none sick in our midst,” quoth the nearest man. “Why, I had supposed three of |§ your citizens were sick, as only nine of the jury are present,” said the traveler. And the nine brought in a verdict that the morose traveler was an ass. MATHEMATICS, Ecuinenides, the arithmetician, was buzzing Pisistratus Cactus on math: “I wish I could pitch upon a method ig the circle. Then T could “And T would that T could pitch a curved ball. ‘Then T could live in said Pisistratus, and hence- forth he was ruled out of the counell and died miserably in Chicago. THE FRESH MEDICAL STUDENT. A very fresh young medical student was startling and disgusting the elder Icarus one day by handling and ex- plaining the functions of a human joint. Said he: “T carried that arm a week in my trunk and dissected the tendons and articulated the bones, and had a splen- did time. Did you ever see such devotion before over a bone ?” * Yes,” said Iearus, ‘I have seen it in a dog. ‘SELF-DENIAL OF DEMOSTHENES. The son of a poor man in Athens displayed much talent on the violin. He wished to travel and complete his musical education, and told his needs to Demosthenes, who lived next door: y nd friends are poor, and I r visit Boston and com- plete n er mind,” said Demosthenes; “the town will raise a subscription _ Pur AND THE BARBER, | FURNITURE VS. SATISFACTION. vedon sat down | |under the inflictions of the jcourt barber for a while, but at last said in tearful tones: “Your razor, O Melites, is: quite a politician.” why ¢” said the pleased G | “Tt has a great pull with the ruling powers,” said the bleed- ing king. ‘ Melites whispered sadly in the midst of a! will get no scale this d: No,” said Ph like your instrur |badly strapped.” |to buy alum with. The president thad before.” her di: * said M “how ¢” The barber laughed so vocif- the |erously that the king gave him epidemic which], dime for his appreciation and OREDGED UP AT LIBERTY ISLAND. “Like all women, she speaks for herself,” said Bartholdi. You may go to the head,” said General Stone. They went to the head. |Evarts, Manning and Morton, 1 said, “Liberty has more| J ideas in her head than she ever| Furnished by DE GRAAF & TAYLOR, 47 and 49 West {4th St., W. Y. looked at Torsy—" Golly! Ain't dis nice? Specs I nebber had so'much “You ought to keep those char sence I'se bo'n, Sence missus got her fu'niture fum dat fu'm De Graaf & Taylor she shuts me out o' dis room ; but I jess guees I seagulls away, they will make gets fntoe it wen she aint heah.” yor Gre — eee rerpenemesitien: fd General| to ber Mead will make het Wazy)” aud the mayor put a cardamon seed in his mouth. . “Why, anything which flies! “The Colossus at Rhodes stood on two moles and ‘a ship in full sail could pass”—but Evarts was | interrupted by the enraged party. “There are no moles on this statue, and I don't want any liberties taken with Liberty,” said Bartholdi in a dig- nified tone. “The Jewscarried away the material of the Colossus, I think,” said a country delegate as he run his hand down through a ripped pocket in his new coat bought that day on Chatham. street. “There may be something in Lib- erty after said a conservative Englishman as s he peered up through the iron-work in the statue. "PUT TO GOOD USE. “T've been hunting all overtheroom for a hairpin,” said a young lady to her newly-married friend, ‘‘and I | couldn't find a single one to save me.” “Of course you couldn't, my dear,” was the sympathetic reply. ‘I’m mar- **And what has that to do with it?” was the incredulous query. “Everything, my dear,” was the | reply. ‘My husband straightens them all out for pipe-cleaners.” RUN IT INTO THE GROUND. “Do they proclaim the gosnel from the housetops in these days ?” asked little Johnny, looking up from his | Bible lesson. | “No, my son,” said old Brown, pat- | ting him on the head. ““And why not, pat” persisted the and send you . Make it ten CLaPrrRr—“ Yes, the old coat did come out pretty well; my | tiny interrogation point. Il start her at one hun- | wife folded it in camphor, you know.” “I guess,” was the reply, “it.is be- and he fell on his neck Svarrer—‘ Folded it, did she?” Ithought from the appear- | cause the patent-medicine men have and kissed him. ance of the back collar that it had been hung up.” ruined the business.”