Judge — November 6, 1886 — page 15: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

es he believes in occasionally giving the story the benefit ofthe doubt. It occurred in one of the suburban villages, where a worthy citizen stayed out rather late one night, and came home ina state which he knew was dangerous for him if his wife discovered The night was one of the freezy-thawy sort, and the moment of his re- turn happened to be one of the thawing intervals. Ite curred to the man that, if he took his boots off outside the house, and went in very softly and fully, his wife might not wake and discover condition. So he followed this plan, and anazed to get into bed without raising any m. a morning he opened his eyes rather late ‘isaw his wife in the room, standing by the Window. He could have told by her aspect that jt was a frosty morning, without looking out of said she. He came there. 7 “Are those your boots frozen into the gutter out there?" she asked. He looked long and wonderingly, until his ach- ing head began to reel. . I guess they must be my boots, that’s a fact,” said he. * And how did they come there 7” Of course he couldn't account for it, but the adercan, He had sat down on the curbstone of on the doorstep, and had forgotten to bring the boots in with him when he came. THE BEST IN THE WORLD. The Juvar is producing some remarkable i toons howadays, well worth studying the most hardened Democrats, Further- UDGE is the best paper of its kind pub- | lished in the world.—Elmira Advertiser. SATIRE, FUN, AND TRUTH. Jvpar: has plenty of satire, plenty of fun, and ous truth with laughter attachment. Caught an So is * De- Il the other pictures Washington Na- » illustration. and suggestiv - delightfully il Republican. “HENRY CG. SQUIRES, 178 Broadway, N. Y. GCuUNS, FISHING TACKLE, BOATS, CANOES, LAWN TENNIS, | for forest, fleld and stream. Send 10 cents for large illustrated cir cular. Gun of the 14th Century. GINTEREST=MEN % ae Ls L Instant relief. Finalcare: Jo returna Notndlincy. % ether yymive or reppostory. Liver, kidoe ikgmate eg Setters eliiars ofan tree, by addressing, JB Sere mY. SONGS APRIZE:: wonew and popular songs sent teal who send 4 cents to bay p Iecea chote tol fuatoect Cal LER cee es free. P.O, ¥ Send sx cents for postage, and re: costly box of Bich wilt ioe a ~ GEORGE WEST, MASUPACTCRER OF GROCERS’ BAGS, BALLSTON SPA, New York. He was jes’ a plain, every-day, a jour., Consumpted-lookin’—but la! The jokeyest, wittiest, story-tellin’, song-singin’ fellow you ever saw! Worked at jes’ coarse work, but you kin bet he was fine enough in hus talk, And his feelin’s, too ! Lordy ! ef he was only back on his bench agin to- day a-carryin’ on Like he ust to do! Any shop-mate'll tell you they never was on top o' dirt A better feller'n Jim! You = a favor, and couldn't git it anywheres else— You could git it o’ him ! Most free-heartedest man that a-way in the world. guess ! Give up ever’ nickel he’s worth— And, if you'd a-wanted it, and named it to him, and it was his, He'd a-give you the earth! Allus a-reachin’ out, Jim was ; anda-helpin some Poor feller on to his feet— He'd a-never a-keered how hungry he was hisse’f, So's the feller got somepin’ to eat ! Didn't make no difference at all to him how he was dressed, He ust to say to me— “You tog out a tramp purty comfortable in win- ter-time And he'll git along all-round kind of says he. Jim didn’t have, ner never could git ahead so ov- erly mucl O' this world’s goods at a time— ‘Fore now I've saw him, more'n onc’t, lend a dol- | | lar and haf to ‘urn round and borry a di Mebby laugh and joke about it hisse'f fer awhile —then jerk his coat, And kindo’ square his chin, Tie on his apern, and squat hisse'f on his old shoe bench And go to peggin’ agin ! Patientest feller, too,] reckon,'at ever jes’ naturely Coughed hisse’f to ‘death t Tong enough ‘After his voice was lost he'd laugh and say He could git everthing but his breath— “ You fellers,” he'd sorto’ twinkle his eyes and say “* Is a-pilin’ onto me | A mighty big debt fer that ere little weak-chested ghost o’ mine to pack Through all eternity !" Now there was a man ‘at jes’ "peared like, to me, *At ortn’'t a-never died ! “ But death hain't a-showin’ no favors,” boss said, “On’y to Jim!” and cried ; And Wiger, ‘at puts up the best sewed work in the shop, ir the whole blamed neighborhood, | He says, “When God made Jim, I bet you He didn’t do anything else that day But jes’ set around and feel good !" mes Whitcomb Riley. the old are worse than othe ‘Somerville Journal. BETTER AND BETTER. This week's Jupoe is a grand number, both in illustrations and the accompanying, text » Jepae is growing sturdier and brighter every | day.—Dansville Advertiser. SHARPEST AND BEST. We would not like to! try to get along without the Jupaz, We always Postpone our laughing until its arrival and then sit down and have it all out at once. It is the sharpest, highest order of wend paper of any we receive. No, we should ik Leader ‘A MODEL JOURNAL OF WIT AND HUMOR, The Jupce last week entered upon its eleventh volume, It is a model journal of wit and hu- mor, both written and illustrated. The wit has the genuine Attic flavor, and is always pungent as well as clean, with an underlying stratum of healthy philosophy and shrewd. sense. The illustrations are peculiarly excellent both in | design an execution.—Dundee (N, ¥.) Observer. ;| Francais, e. ike to do without it.—Hillsdale (Mich.))~ Conutable A Cr AUTUMN NOVELTIES AT RETAIL. An extensive stock of choice styles of Striped, Fancy Figured Brocades, Moire Antiques, Moire Fleur de Soie, Faille Francais Gold and Silver Effects, etc., suitable for Street or Evening Wear. 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