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Judge, 1886-10-23 · page 5 of 19

Judge — October 23, 1886 — page 5: what you’re looking at

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Judge — October 23, 1886 — page 5: Judge, 1886-10-23

What you’re looking at

**"The Bridge Over the Arno"** is a humorous poem about a Duke of Florence who cleverly solves his financial problems. He offers free new clothes to the city's beggars and poor—but secretly has his men rip apart their old rags and search every seam for hidden valuables. The proceeds fund construction of a bridge, enriching the city while the poor unknowingly contribute their accumulated wealth. **"Incident of the War"** is a comedic dialogue between Civil War veterans. Two soldiers recount a battle where cannon fire killed comrades, then reveal the real problem: one soldier carried Swiss cheese in his pocket, and the smell proved so overpowering it forced a strategic retreat. The humor lies in deflating military heroism with absurd domestic practicality—the cheese, not enemy fire, determined the battle's outcome. Both pieces use satirical exaggeration to mock human nature: greed and deception in the first, vanity in military storytelling in the second.

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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE BRIDGE OWUER THE ARNO. STORY of Florence years 4 = Which is related just to sh How a bridge was built at no The duke of Florence once, Asch How ‘is said, found flitting through his head : waiting not reluctant offers He still might fill the city’s coffers With good round sum. lamation nl poor in station— He sent abroad a prc To all the low a Beggars and tramps. All without stamps— ain day tow there Upon the city’s public square ve a brand-new suit thing. Md_ones were the people's loathin So filthy one could se INCIDENT OF THE WAR, “YES, T have been at an reunion, Vete of the 43d Minne: voluntes Ah. w recollections well up in the patriotic heart as we grasp the old famil- jar hand and drink out of the sume canteen once more. By the way, Strauss, [see here son f the same old cheese “Yah; dot vas Oneida gounty It was shmell a leedle loud alretty “Touching incident ronnected — therewith, Strauss. Some more of the same? Yes; were ordered out iss cheese we to ambush. the word to be spoken slippers led uson tiptoe. We erept up the side of Lookout mountain pense And asa hint to cities distant thence. Which took precedence, rags or vermin, The beggars viewed this proclamation With wonder, jc nd admiration ; Declared their words were quite unable To thank for gift so charitable, And one for which, indeed, They stood so inch in need. came ‘round : eon the ground, you would, 1d not or could, there alone they could be found ; y that you would have wondered— You could count them | one, wel Hunt wher Ce Tw Soma the hundred, And for precaution well surrounded Ry guards just as the signal sounded. Then they were told, New clothes for old! Into those dear new st And le: th to creep old rags in ah In getting clothes so very cheap You would not think Yet many cause to weep; id almost to blind them, Obliged to leave their rags behind them, Here's explanation of this rude Exhibit of ingratitud: As also of the duke’s silence shrewd : Those rags off-stripped, Carefully ripped, Thoroughly Developed a mine Of wealth to shine Sufficient to justify his dream, earched in every seam, And with those proceeds of beg That be: That Of FI ly guilt se was speedily built glorious pride GEORGE. DIRUSEVE. and got nicely located when a cannon boomed on the top of the ridge and ashell dropped among usand, exploding, twenty men bit the dust.” “Dot vos pad. r one mit me.” ker whispered to th nd we crept aw rd on the west side of the moun death when that cannon boomed a cold in death, = Chiminy erashus! try dot unner von mit me.” x: Hooker was startled, but when we arose to creep aw odor, a sort of noxious vapor, a gentle Hooker called a council of officers. “Ish dot so? Hafe some peer.” “Ifyou please. We retired a half mi investigation for the time, But through tl rebels shelled us clear into in the archive rMHuvia, was apparent and > up the ness the . it is a fact recorded that a Dutchman in of switzer kase in his pocket and the Washing: ry had been shelling the smell all night.” ay oud of dis. [ pelieve you vaya chestnut.” sicred honor, his name was Baumgartner and he Give us et out of dis else I scheli you mit de bung- you eferschmell powder aber somepody shoot Dem rebels vas peen shelling your nose unt THE OLD PROFESSOR. rtil “You g “Strauss, on my ne from mati ton t trust tomorrow, comicbooks.com