Judge, 1886-10-16 · page 4 of 18
Judge — October 16, 1886 — page 4: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page satirizes several targets typical of Victorian-era humor: **"A Sign of Fall"** mocks pretentious poetry submissions. The poem laboriously lists autumn imagery (ripened corn, falling leaves, deacon) before revealing the real "sign of fall": a farmer's unpaid yearly bill. It ridicules overwrought literary submissions to magazines. **"The Tyrian Purple"** parodies literary magazines' editorial pretension. The mock editorial claims to publish incomprehensible philosophical writing ("A Bird in the Hand is Worth Two in the Bush"), then admits the contributors themselves don't understand their own work. It's satire of obscurantist literary journals passing off gibberish as profundity. The scattered humorous anecdotes below mock everyday absurdities: a suit fitting "like paper on walls," a barber's obvious scissors comment, and boarding-house etiquette rules. Overall, the page ridicules Victorian literary pretension and the gap between claimed intellectual substance and actual meaning—a common Judge target.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
C7 THE TYRIAN PURPLE. EXTRACTS FROM A RECENT NUMBER OF LITERARY DEATH. EDITED BY MISS R. BETSEY BREAKEARTH. A SIGN OF FALL. Nor the bill Nor th ie “TIS not the shock of ripened corn, | my OS Is for the county fair : ! k of the squirrel-hunt Ringing out on the morning air. ‘Tis not the } On “Th Nor the poemn sent for print Summer Queen's Dead ning purple tint utumnal nose, falling leaf, in its brilliant hues, tthe deacon to church In brand. “Tis not the ons son in his new check suit st year’s bill), Tis not that the woodpile daily grows, ghter goes © lover. that the coonskin, newly flayed, side of th tthe old ma ins of xtocking § sit tells to + to pass his door, and gr Hibors, friends et al., of fall now surely at New Sidur, Ten Cents Per Gall 8 L. ADAMS, WHY HE DIDN'T WANT THEM. Clothing deale My dear fits you just like the paper on y Customer (hastily)—** Does guess E don't want it.” Clothing-dealer—" What! Don’t: want suit that fits you lik atper on you Customer—* No; you see my freseoed.” that wall.” Then I sir, suit it? a * Uneasy lies the head that wears a crown,” 7 | for the oth Ww, sqeaky shoes, T's luscious fruit HOW IT SHOULD BE DONE. ne sir Barber. in the Customer. w will you have With the scissors, of course.” ANXIOUS ABOUT THE OTHER. Doctor—"* Why only one | Patient —" Ex when it will be back A 00G OF PARTS. —"That dog of yours is a dog of ey : my dear sir, I find that you ; the other is gone doctor, can you tell Bagle parts, Be Bailey ice at? Well, he took part of my coat . If you think he has any use v Tl bring it around, TIRED OF HIS TALK. Riding-school instructor—* Ol, no, Master Kirby, not that way—not that way. That is not the right w to get on You should study ‘my directions better. Master Kirby—* Oh, I've got tired reading ‘our sermon on the mount.” horse. BOARDING-HOUSE MAXIMS. Never onder eg | Never ask to be served twice | | if you owe any back board. | ‘The landiady is generally widow, and flirts accordin |: eider clear of tue young wid | ows who are boarding in the howe, See what kind of « game the riders play before you buy Never appear to be deeply interested in the man who is full of schemes, Beware of th = boarder who nge when girl leave a pitcher of ater at the head of your If you want to be happy | make yourself solid with the table girl and the chamber- | maid ' Y edgé ROM ti , indeed, How did you come |" first editorial, on ‘* The Soct volent Distribution of Cold € Itis curiously significant of the objecti iusions of the modern maelstrom that the veritable denotation of present florification » the subjec the subje cotechumen 4 the antiqu cosmos to the wide human! But life is short, and the si forbids that we reproduce this in full. We don't pretend to know, ourselve but a friend who is up on the cosmos of the for the distrib pid griddle-cakes. Extract from last ‘A Bird in the Hand is Worth Two in the Bush”: The noble devotion of the members of the | corps and small, great little, big and diminutive, to the deep verities of the religious philosophy attemperate to the autocratrice of the effort now incorporate be- |fore you, leads her to the exclusivism of exu- beration for the sake of her ferr I relapse into silence e this statement in full as the only fair nod to our readers when neither we nor. one else so far as heard from can tell t | what it means, Extracts from the department jof “ Deep Thoughts”: | “In the midst of life we are im death.”"— Morgan Tuppel | ime thes."—E. P. Doe. Procrastination is the thief of time.” lent Talmidge. Be good and you'll be happy." —Elizabeth Cady Livermore Spai ain forbids that we should complete | w | me A FAMILIAR EXPRESSION. * Above suspicion.”