Judge — October 2, 1886 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

MORNING REQUEST—NO. Mus, Monpny—* Aw ye don’t want jist put in this little lasket, that's PESSIMISTIC CHESTNUTS. The summer's o'er. From mount and shore The pleasure tourist turns ; ‘That pelican, the haggas Now trunk and grip-«a The nights grow lon) ‘The soda fount grows ¢ 4. A. WALDRON. Masi of the Court. Mr. Dan O'Leary, whois missing, is O'Leary, O'Leary, and possibly he may be dead. The people of Tennessee evidently liked Anty Johnson because he was a tailor too. There is a scheme “to purify tobacco ;” but the popular impression is that when you puri- fy tobacco you don’t have any tobacco. Cincinnati has a spectacular show represent- ing the fall of Babylon. It consists principally, we suspect, of an alarming decline in pork. The dispatch which killed a deer is not satisf yi delicate so far as the preside the president's party but it is certainly t is concerned. As Ira D. Sankey says he doesn’t regard Chi- cago as the worst place in the world, there is a n that he must have secretly visited St Louis. The Lancaster New Era been presented with an eighteen-ounce quince, and there a apprehensions with regard to the quin- cequences An English nobleman’s son is in jail in Bos. ton, charged with forger: The American heiress who failed to marry him cannot be condemned too much. Neal Dow reminds one of the man who com z have boarders, Mra. Mulli; was killing somebody else. Ve minded mai Neal Dow. 1. The Detroit Free Press discusses |Shakespeare as a chestnut. — Possibly William wasa chest-| it; but it has not successfully that he was ever cracked. Somebody says that alla woman wants is that somebody shall tell her what to do. |Not quite all, we thin! She would like to have—and she really ought to have —the somebody do it for her. Abel er, the broker, ax he came out of the re recently, I favor of civil-service rmall through, I civil-ser- t restaurants for instanc EVENING DELIVERY—NO. 2. Mrs, MULticas—" Beggars shouldn't be choos- ers. These be a few things Idon’t want. Yez be welcome ; heartily welcome.” of Blaine, Ed-| It should be the first duty munds and Conkling to clasp hands across the | bloody chasm, and each should simultaneously send the telegram to the others, your chasm.” “ Produce We observe that several papers mention Mr. Blaine asa Mr. Henry of a place called Navarre. |It might be supposed that somebody would ask, ‘ What Navarre?” but perhaps there | would be some danger in it. A man up town announced himself as an anti-saloon Democrat. We don’t understand | | the joke ourselves, but all who heard it laughed | their sides sore id then took a drink so as to be able to laugh some more. Polly Gehris of Berks county, Pa., smoked and chewed for fifty years, and finally died, at the age of eighty-four, because she had never abeau. Itseems to us that this kind of | al abstin is not legitimate. ** mitted suicide under the impression that he} The town of Romeo, in Michigan, hasn't had a death in five months. It is pretty one of the new Juliets has not been but, however that may be, the town at hasn't a death in that length of time is pretty poor shucks. Henry Watterson says the daily of to-day should be a complete history of yesterday. The Commercial Advertiser says it should be a complete history of today. Let us amend. It should be, and to some extent is, a considera- ble history of to-morrow and next week. Shakespeare was a wise man. He saw into the future with wonderfully penetrating eyes, When he created Beatrice he meant Terry. When he fashioned Ophelia he had in view a woman whom only one woman has played thoroughly well. And as for Ellen, how he fitted Portia to her art, Mrs. Light of Terre Haute hid money ina bed-tick and in a moment of forgetfulness set fire to the tick. Many persons have made light k principle, and surely in this case y bad. Still, we are all liable to We have hid millions of dollars in and they are all there yet if they haven't been sacrificed to the ravages of fire or time, A party out west of the name of Dana put his hand to the top of his head and found his scalp gone. “It’s of no consequence s philosophically after a moment's reflection. “Tnever did care much for that scalp; and now that it's been adopted by a disreputable Indian I part with it with the most placid sat- isfaction.” It is learned that the name of the Indian is Jpulitzer. “M. Quad” of the Detroit Free Press came to New-York and went to Coney Island with the purpose of being robbed. He invested in prize candy, and drew a brass wateh-cham and some other trinkets, and as he purposel looked by two dead-be his bogus jewel The story is rather funy thin. The confidence men of t so miserably deficient in or- common sense as that comes to, dear Is it not fairly possible that there y a confidence game on INHERITANCE. Tom, doomed thro’ life his nakedness to hide In clothes his elder brother cast aside, ‘Alas ! when told that he was 1e decrees I muxt his widow wed, OVERS] A YEARS O00 yy SES comicbooks.com