Judge — September 18, 1886 — page 11: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

PROOF POSITIVE. the man whose tif ntifoyed, is it? Sure thin " ¥'l see it's meself entoire Judge’s Charge. HE WILL LOSE HIS PRACTICE. The Kentucky law: who refused to fight a duel will live to fight anotherday ; but, right and wise as he undoubtedly is, he had better move into some more northern locality. While every K i mits that it wrong to kill, no Kentuckian can forgi man who refuses to kill on the slightest provo- COACHY, BEWARE! Hereafter perhaps coachmen will think long before running with their masters’ daughters. The gidd. ng things are not to be relied upon, and the original clopement is very good evidence that more elopement is to be apprehended. Of all the cases of the kind that have transpired not one has turned out happi The coachman should set his lip sternly against all temptation of this nature— the girl who is ready to elope with him will be twice ready to elope with somebody else. As Mr. Tupper eloquentl * Her vows She surely will dee She'll pack her duds and leave.” THE COLLAPSED ROTUNDITY. Dorman B. Eaton is writing letters in vin- dication of his administration to the New-York It may be remembered possibly lon represented the United $ a missionary in Africa, and was charged with taking more than his share of mileage. This, however, was of small account in comparison with the atrocity of his gram- mar and syntax and the villainy of his enor- ast ye the of his egotism. but they say now that they will compromise |if Whitelaw Reid is handed over to them for the crime of giving |him the room necessary ty air his | self-sufliciency, THE AWKWARDNESS OF GUILT. » you are a Democrat ?” red one man of another, was the h sponse: “but I never did It was that other Democrat.” “Methinks,” said the author [of the interrogatory as he passed musingly on, “‘that he doth protest too quick, and there is besides an old maxim to the ef- fect that a guilty conscience needs no accuser, “Remarkably shrewd man that the other, going his Jown way with blushes on both cheeks ; ‘whether I belong to the aque- | duet ring or the Grace family?” |. The court thinks after due d liberation that as between the six land the half-dozen there is a considerable distinction without | the shghtest difference. * sa THE MAN WITHOUT A. SHORE. Field state-+ so says edd before Tc “lock out id Miss. : jon to. snores has broken a great many hearts; but ‘when she nds a man who doesn’t snore she'll find one that isn’t worth having—we can tell her that. Still, there is a difference in snores. While the light, ¢ ry, innocent snore has its ameliorative virtue, the full-b rounded snore, with holes in it like those pepper-box, is intolerable, i accompanied with a snort. woman could possibly be expected to tole such a snore as that, unless she produced it herself. In the latter case she would perhaps enjoy it until it woke her up. But the point |is that thisis not the period for male angels, nd as there is no rose without a thorn so there is no man without a snore. Do not expect it, Miss Field. Do not look for such a being. He r come. oye on this | ECHOES OF THE EARTHQUAKE. The phenomena of earthquakes will never be entirely understood. The habitual reader of the daily newspaper will probably doubt thi having been told all about it/as he supposes ; but we must really content ourselves with limited information and such facts, more or less insignificant, as come to us from the un- scientific individual. The earthquake was not felt to a serious extent in New York; but, curi- ously enough, the court has yet to meet a per- son who did not experience it to some extent. “Twas si ith a cigar for my only compan ) ‘or Grace, ** when there came a low but distinct rumbling that slightly shook the building, and the next moment I gota dispatch to the effect that I had bett prop up my establishment because Henry George and many of the boys of my own far ily were after me. I tell you I was scared.” “When I Leard the rumbling,” says Mr. | “wonder if he knows | © opposite wall and there were fissures in it, upon my soul [ thought they fashioned them- selves into writing to this effect—! You get right out of that state committee ! Then I knew the earthquake was here.” “My experience is not large,” patch from Governor Hill. ‘* We got only slight shock here. Having ordered the ’q myself, of course I took good much of it in this locali ankle and a slight attack of neuralgia I have ffered no serious injury. But the deuce of it is, now that it’s begun I’m afraid I can't stop it.” The president of the United States was fish- ing when the rupture began, °* T noticed,” he says in a private lette “that there was sharp snap to my trolling-line, and immedi ately the waters were troub! So was 1; though | must say that it was a pleasing sort of worry. In five minutes the waters parted at the side of my boat and there emerged there: from a five-pound trout. That's the kind of hiquake for me. By t y, how’s David / Mrs. Sinith, who lives in Harlem, had just finished emptying her husband's trousers of their superfluous funds, when she distinctly observed Mr, Smith turn over in bed with a suppressed snore, Tais was at. six o'clock in the morning, but she believes the earthquake began then. She turned pale with fright and softly replaced the trousers, and at an | hour of the evening she received a letter from n she had supposed to vr. She ran into the nd remained there five *T thought,” says Mr. Bayard, * that the rmment about to be attacke combined armies of Can the aid of a force from Ma Fi G. Blaine. I was so annoyed at the continued rumbling, as telegraphed me from the city of Mexico and some other points, that I walked | | ne headed by J A BOLD ANNOUNCEMENT. boas, here's me last two-pence ;gimmea | half ticket to de middle of de bridge. I'ma boot- black from de fourd ward. In short, I'm goin’ jump off. Td 1 tell you more about om of his own importance. | John O'Brien, ‘it reminded me of some re- | ilf, but afe other law and press git- The natives wanted to hang him for the feroc-| marks of my partner Heman. I looked at the H § comicbooks.com