Judge — August 7, 1886 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE. TERMS TO SUBSCRIBERS UNITEO STATES AND CANADA. iS weeks, . Single coptes 10 cents cach. THE JUDGE PUBLISHING co., Fe-Ievor ts for sale rewularly at the Americ change in Paris and the American Exchange in London. Hannan Martin of Ohio claims to have reached perfection. So-ho, Mr. Godkin! here's another of us. Possipty Mr. GartaNp has got things re- versed. He may think it is the duty of the government to resign—not hi: Str Cuartes Ditke being about to leave England, we have already begun to look upon that country as one of the most virtuous in the world. = GRATITUDE BEGINS ABROAD. Speaking of the Grant monument fund, we observe that the American people are raising money for statues to Gladstone. GENERAL SHERIDAN now a suburban farmer. That is to say, he sits on the veran- dah and smokes, and incidentally looks out into the fields to oversee the boys at work. Governor Hit in his bi-centennial address spoke hopefully of the completion of the “new capitol. Ah, yes. Twohundred years hence what a roaring time they'll have over that. Is rt Quire the square thing forthe Mail and Express to print two columns of Rollin M. Squire's poetry? Insatiate evening editor! in this crisis of Rollin’s affairs would not one suffice? Somer ONE says he once saw Butler, Dana and Dorsheimer together. He should not be too hard upon the poor fellows, however: per- haps the meeting was merely one of those un- fortunate accident Mr. Buarne is said to have been so fright- ened over Logan’s attack on Murat Halstead and John Sherman that he turned pale ; and when Mrs. Logan bandaged the general’s head he smiled himself half to death. THE ROAD TO LTH is an imaginary line running from the highest altitude of the Brooklyn bridge to the lowest depth of the East ri Possibly you may not come up t Very well; what will you want of the wealth then t Suanouat claims the invention of an elec- tric sword. When the point of an electric sword touches an enemy he is paralyzed. Now the truth is that our Augustus Garland vented that sword. Did he not impale his very self on the point of Tue Cuicaco ANARCHISTS | proposed revolu- tion and actually thought their bombs would give them meat, beer and idleness. They must be hanged for idiocy, if not for murder. This is a free country, but idiocy isa privileged virtue that belongs only to the editor of the Evening Post and his fellow-mugwumps. WE HAVE too many troubles with Mexico and Canada. The late Mr. Monroe had a method of avoiding these things which may have to be adopted presently. Uncle Sam has about as large a family as he wants, but if it is necessary to peace to throw his arms decorously about the outlying beauty and suggestiveness it will be promptly and firmly done. WHEN IT BECOMES necessary to boom the Jupce—which is doing so much booming on its own hook at present that it is difficult to’ follow it—we shall get up a fund for a monu- ment to William Henry Patterson. It may be remembered that Mr. Patterson was the man who was struck. The man who did the zx | Striking did full justice to his opportunity, but history has rather neglected the gentleman who represented the opportunity. THE PROBABLE RESULT. It was asked of Mr. Bismarck, “Have you heard that General Boulanger of Paris is going to whip Germany and then smash the French republic ?” “Nein,” said Mr. Bismarck, setting down his beer and wiping the drip from his mous- tache. ‘Ven does he pegin, hey 7” ‘The precise date is not given.” “Vell,” replied Mr. Bismarck, thoughtfully resuming his beer, ‘oof Sheneral Poolwhanger smash der repooblic first dot vould be petter. | haf to do dot for der empire some leedle years ago, unt if dey do it demsellefs dey feel petter aboud it, Dose vellers nefer be happy mit dot shob yet, unt if dey vip me now I get so mat dot Ileaf of dot repooblics not so moosh as der leedle pieces.” SELECTION BY CHOICE. A South Carolina gentleman—and a very sensible, thoughtful, conservative man he is— says, in allusion to a recent cartoon in the JupGE, that we ought not to expect to see or want to see a white man and a negroat the same table. Friend, the JupGE wants no such g. These things regulate themselves well that it has no desire to interfere with them. There are white men who would not sit at the table with other white men. There are black man who would think long before accepting the companionship of certain classes of whites. The matter of propriety is not regulated by complexion so much as by edu tion and circumstance ; and if there is any white man who chooses to put himself ona level with a negro or a cheap Indian he has found his level and should be permitted to hold it as long as his selected friends will permit him to do so. HAVE WE A GOVERNMENT? Mr. Bayard’s idea of American citizenship and American honor: If an American citizen is kept in prison without a trial in Spain let him get ou best he can and then sue the Spanish govern- ment. If af American citizen is similarly humili- ated in Mexico the state department will inquire into the matter with dignity and deliberation, and perhaps apologize to the Mexican authorities for the trouble it gives them in doing so. If American vessels are unjustly seized or SHE WANTED TO BE SURE. OLD MAID—“T shall have to get a stronger and| more powerful glass, in swimming over there. modesty in them at all.” I am almost certain men go The horrid things! No} comicbooks.com