Judge — July 24, 1886 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE. JUDGE. PUBLISHED ONCE A WEEK. W. J. Aer. Manny B President ~ Vice-Preatdent - Art Department ~ Falter ~~ ~~ Manager - = ~~ Advertising Manager - TERMS TO SUBSCRIBERS UNITED STATES AND CANADA. 1s ADVANCE, One copy, one y numbers... One copy, six mo 3% numbers, One copy, for 13 weeks, . eae & Bingle coples M1 cents each, THE JUDGE PUBLISHING CO., FRaoEin? sivarr, 27.r. ter-Jovar is for sale regularly at thi rican Ex. change In Paris and the American Exchange in London. One oF THE MOST CURIOUS of prevailing phenomena is this—Augustus Garland still re- mains in Washington. AFTER ALL, English repudiation of Dixey may be the latest English method of showing affection for the Unie “Witt Mr. Gartanp go for good 1” asks the World. Oh, certainly. Wherever and whenever he goes, that's inevitable. WE Have a new kind of idiot. He knew the stol was loaded, but he forgot it until the weapon had gone off and killed somebody. Mr. Giapstone will fight on his back for some timeto come. This gives him a great advantage, because he can use his heelsas well as his hands. ‘THOSE WESTERN ANA! TS who put bullet- holes through the old flag deserve no mercy. We earnestly hope they will go a little further west and steal a horse. Irs svaaestep that Garland go and Judge Thurman take his place. Too late—too late | Allen G. is not Thurman to accept position merely to fill a vacancy WE MUsT NOT be severe in our judgment of certain. rural newspapers. Whoever has drank at the village bar must admit that the country editor must of necessity have a patent inside. In HIS VETOES the president hurts friend as well as foe, and this is said to be a triumph of honesty. There is a thing called a boomerang, and that is thought by some to be a triumph of honesty too. THE MAN who went through the Niagara whirlpool without killing himself did it im a keg. Heretofore the experimenters have had the kegs inside of them, and there has been a popular impression that the battle of the keg is best fought that way. Tue naxarNo of Mr, Miguel Chacon in this city the other day was the prettiest and most artistic execution ever perpetrated, and if Sheriff Grant doesn’t ask for a sccond term on the strength of it he doesn’t understand an opportunity as well as we think he does. Tue MANAGERS of Harvard bewail the in- crease of wealth among the students of that institution, holding that good study and good work must necessarily have the incentive of poverty. But they needn’t despair. Perhaps the boys will bet on the wrong boat next year. THE SUITS against the indicted aldermen go over for the summer; and us there isa sus- picion that C. B, Waite is going crazy perhaps they will go over for all tim Lapses of time and reason are occasionally sweet boons—and possibly the district attorney isn't very well himself. Ir 18 STATED that Colonel Corkhill remarked some time before his death that the murder of Garfield was the result of a conspiracy in which two very prominent statesmen were involved. If the statement is true the colonel did not dic ‘° of congestion of the lungs—congestion of the brain was what ailed him. THE WORM AND THE BUTTERPLY. Ben: Perley Poore, writing for the Albany Journal, says the male correspondents at Washington are jealous of the lady correspond: ents and lose no opportunity to show that the} latter are fickle in judgment and generally un- reliable; and then proceeds to repeat a report of a discovery by one of the jealous persons to the effect that one of Mrs. Cleveland's most ardent lady culogists a short time ago spoke of Miss Folsom as a Buffalo school-girl not re- markable for either beauty or wit. Now it behooves not the gallant major to add to the discomfiture of the lady correspondent in question. There is nothing jealous about him and it would have been better if he had let the discovery die. Though, to be sure, it can do no harm if it lives, for we must remember that between the school-girl of Buffalo and HE TOOK IT “No, th: the first lady who lives in Washington there jis a long distance, and it is more than likely that the lady writer in question is right in all of her criticisms. There is a great deal in | growth, experience and change of climate, and the Mrs. Cleveland of Washington is no more the Miss Folsom of Buffalo than the butterfly is the crysalis from which it yesterday emerged, THE PAMPERED LARYNX. The Democratic party has long had the habit of taking its beverage straight. In the more pronounced Democratic locality sugar is even yet looked upon as adeleterious substance, or acompound intended only for ladies and jchildren; and to moisten the mouth with water after partaking of the regulation hanl- ware is thought by the mioss-back species of |Democratic anatomy to be weakness of the Miss Nancy variety calculated to excite the supremest disgust. The agitation of the Democratic breast as Mr, Cleveland's soda-water fountain is disclosed lew thing not to be accurately de- scribed. Soda-water plain bad enough; but when it is adulterated with the various syrups, including the mugwump sweetness, it becomes an affectation so far removed from the corrugated wholesomeness known as Jef- \fersonian simplicity as to produce the acutest |nausea, “Gimme corduroy bre one suspender and straight whisky an’ I'll do!” jexclaimed the Democrat of old; and therein he jenuuciated the Democratic feeling of to-day, |however it may have been sand-papered with |the mistaken culture of an effete civ Across the way from Mr. Clev tain may be had the unadulterated be: You winks your eye and gets your Democracy with all the sparkle and none of the airs or foam. OUR SWAPS WITH ENGLAND. There was a time when the reciprocity that existed between the British nation and this consisted chiefly in our cheerful acceptance of British excellence in exchange for American FOR THE DOG. cra Mia ny ank yez!” comicbooks.com