Judge — July 24, 1886 — page 11: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE. MY GIRL, O, she’s saucy, sweet and sunn And her pa has lots of mone} And to be “correct ” she really doesn’t care : She has eyes that simply craze you, And she wears Mikado daggers in her hair. At her “ afternoons” and “dances,” In a tea-gown that entrances, She will beam on you so brightly—oh, beware! For she doesn’t kn : z And she never thinks she’s harming d | Your poor heart with all those daggers in her hair- Oh, she’s desperately pretty And she’s dangerously witty ; She will drive you in her dogcart to despair, stunning little dimple, . . HORSE RACE PHILOSOPHY. And those Japanese inventions in her hair. While you bend enraptured o'er her The rich man wins ; the poor man you to adore her; loses, pu in a manner quite unfair ; Many men make their own bad very sky above her luck. Seems to smile on her and love her . And the fancy fans she fixes in her hair, A gambler can lose everything | Kittie x, | but hope. om After a short horse has won look pens x out for the favorite. A lawyer had quoted in support of his case aay the opinion of a celebrated jurist still living.) The man who blows in his money a cla’e * The judge interrupted ay very often. blows out his brains. A household chestnut. “Mr. Briefless, please confine yourself to] ‘The poor man’s money feeds the thorities no longer living. Our contempo-| bookmaker on the fat of the land. raries, however celebrated for their judical acumen, may—change their minds.” ‘A POOR JOKE. The man with just enough to make ae one bet seldom picks out the winner HOW HE KNEW IT, The “tout” alw: has the win WoMAn oF THE WORLD (to youthful admirer) [Met but never has a cent to put on | OLp CuestsuT (chuckling)—" Because “You seem to know a great deal of married | him. subject to a change of base.” life. Are you married ? Place no faith in the man who 6 Merritt “vith a blase air)—No, but my|always picks the winner and never| The man who “hits the pipe” generally father is.” . \ plays him. knocked out. OLb Crestsxut (complacently)—‘* Why is a lase-ball a inconsistent ¢” he's ever RED BLOOD, NOT BLUE. OLD CHOCOLATE'S TARGET PRACTICE. Hit and Miss Shots, with Now and Then a Bullseye. De bashful dog sellum. gits legs am fastah en’ Yo’ can't allus tell a circus by hits bills. Ef yo’ want a lie believed make hit likely De blacksmif's ‘prentice lames many a hoss. Generous acts shud’n maach behin’ a brass ban’. Ef tombstones tell de truf, de bes’ men hab died. Yo' can’t keep a pig outen de mire by puttin’ good clo’ on um. - Hit am waste time fo’ toe ask alms ob a beggah grown rich, Eberyt’ing shud be in place. De bacon dat a’nt hung up he: longs toe de cat, Strange t'ings happen. De lazies’ faamah’s lan’ offen gits de hulk ob de needed showah. Yo’ can’t make a mule ‘dus- trious wid pet names, but yo" kin sometimes git suffin’ wull Davis—“ Why does Mrs. Shoddyite talk so much about blood—does she come of good family 7” while outen a fool ef yo ; but h ¢ kept a slaughter house—guess that’s the reason,” praise um. J, A. WALDRON, a comicbooks.com