Judge — July 10, 1886 — page 11: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE. 1 ARBORICULTURE. “TEMPORA MUTANTUR. A NUT FOR THE GREEKS. swift through the fabled Grecian glades— \ peopled solitude— Diana and her train of maids The fleeing hart pursued. Iiut stags no more the huntress shun, Though deadlier far her darts— Cora (rapturously)—" What a magnificent tree that is over there.” | a | RITT (putting on)—" Yes, my dear ! oy s | that's what Tennyson would call an immemo-| classical fancies so dear to the man of learning. rial monarch of the fores' Where twenty nymphs then slew but one, Now one slays twenty LOOKED LIKE FRAUD. (to. grocer)— “e have come here to-day to Jook over your stock and ascer- whether you adulterate Grocer—" No, sir ; I do not adulterate anythng in my store CoMMITTEEMAN—“* Have you any reason to believe that your goods are prepared with adul- terous compounds by the manu- facturers ¢” roceR—‘ Ah, sir, you can- not expect me to give away the secrets of the trade.” IT MAY HAVE BEEN. Sue—Oh, John, we were} just sitting out on the porch when a great big fellow came and used horrid language tous. 1 think ~~ you'd better fol-| low him and ex- postulate with him.” guess, my dear, he isn’t to blame for his per- haps he was born © Poetry with- out rhyme is a body without soul” say . ee, 0, no; it i “Dude” Esterbrook, nothing but the feet HE SHOULD GET MARRIED. | “Yaas,” said the pawnbroker to the reporter, as the stylish young man slunk away after getting a dollar and a half on a gold wateh, “that shentlemansis. one of our pest gustomers. He somes here nearly every Shatur- day and leafs vatches, rings, dimonts, and T hear he vas going to be marret. Dot ish right. Every such young shentlemans should go and get marret. Dot isa holy shtate - de plessed shtate. Vhy, m tear sir, dot young mans vill leaf dot brite’s drusso in here in von veek.” | The F Luck never comes to the man who cannot afford to lose. dad luck is a great spendthrift. see it's a chestnut, There was commotion among the students, and upheaval of diversified It was a Greek poem full of the [In the poem, embodied among its brilliancy, )—"But how do you was embraced a strange unknown character. ltThe students were loth to admit that it was ig very funny)—" Because | heyond their knowledge of Grecian lore as to : what was the correct meaning of the peculiar NEW YORK’S PET BASE BALL CLUB—Part 1. Handsome “ Jim” Mutrie, Manager. gE il * Old Joe” Gerhardt. Lawyer Ward, « Elmira Dan” Richardson, character. The poem was handed to the learned man of languages who posed at the very summit of dead tongues galore. He, too, was loth to say that he knew not the meaning of the strange char- acter. The wise imen of the college assembled themselves together, and it was voted that the poem should be sent to Athens, the fountain head of Greek literature. A note was: attached requesting the wise man of Greece to cable at once the full meaning of the strange unknown character, Weeks passed, and one day twenty-seven dollars and fifty cents forthe cablegram. The intensity upon every face as- sumed a gruesome aspect when the head man of dead ltongues read, “A fly has — \ tarried here.” SIDE WHISPERS. The govern- ment has grant- ed upward of 5,000 patents Jon churr but achieving butter is like achieving re- form ; there's only one way to doit, after all— “agitate, tate, agitate. “ One Doctor kills Another,” is the caption ___ _| with which a western paper announces a | shooting affmy. — This seems to open up a new and unex- plored field for the profession. The canals must go, as the railroads are beating them at every point. The other day we saw a washout on a rail- road that would have made a canal-boat lady chew up her clothes-line for envy. Pants are cut so large this season that a dude's legs look | as lonesome as a prohibition ist convention in a skating- | rink. postal cards, t Brook stage was one hour and| twenty minutes late last Tuesday, and hasn't been up to schedule time yet. These new) full postmasters are terribly slow at reading the|m A writer complains that not one young mi ina dozen knows how to leavea house grace- y; but this is @ utilitarian age, and in z his exit the young man sometimes | makes up in speed what he lacks in grace. comicbooks.com a ‘messenger came and collected +