Judge — June 26, 1886 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE. THE QUEER LODGER. I am a lone woman as lets lodgings and takes in boarders on Chambers street, leastways the saucy young chaps says they are taken in, but however that can be I can’t understand when we has codfish ble commenced that first day, when I took 3 o'clock. In a suit of yellow tights and span- his blessed h a water pitcher in the mid- dle of the room, I found him, Habit is every- thing, and if a gentle- man chooses to take naps in that ere attitude it is a free country, but when he opens his eyes and smiles and reaches over with his toes and takes a lunch out of a lady’s hands it is carry- ing things too far—with his toes—and T got out- side the door and leaned up against the bannis- tersand nearly fainted. When I went up to call him to tea and rapped ; . | at the door, he told me in a pleasant voice to come in, and there was my gentleman on_ his) balls and hash for breakfast alternate, as you may say. But this} queer lodger he was the handsomest. man as ever you saw. . poleon ‘on Si in the picture as hangs in my front room, and when he put his hand inside his coat and made a bow it struck me all of a heap. He had no baggage, but paid aweek in advance, and I took an interest in him and waited on him myself. The trou- his lunch up to him at back on a cushion, rea ing the paper and smok lodger out. I am a respectable woman and I must sustain what itation I have got. He jonly smiled at me and assumed an attitude which would touch the heart of any one but a land- lady of large experience. I told Brown to do his worst, and it was the worst Lever saw. The polite lodger ran forward to mect Brown, throwing kisses as he went, and then stooped down, took Brown by the waist with one handand said one-two-three, nd commenced dumb-bell_ prae- tice with him, The little episode which followed is what gave the |house the reputation of being haunted, I went out and got ing and balancing the| + bureau on his toe. He was a very polite man, and he tossed the bureau up in the air and caught iton his other toe and invited me to sit down. I never saw sucha polite man, but I told him I wished he would act more natural, and he only smiled and thvew one leg out sideways and threw me a kiss on his fingers—me, a widow and keepin’ lodgers. The next mornin’ was even wus. I went up to call him to breakfast and he politely asked me to come in, I never saw such a polite man, but he was nowhere in sight, and I went peerin’ around, and there he was tied up in a knot and smilin’ as polite as you please out of one of the bureau drawers. I felt indignant and told him ribbons out of the driver's cars. The next week when Barnum's show | went up Broadway I saw that identic man standing on a golden chariot dressed as a Roman, gladiator, and he was smiling and throwing kisses to the crowd. He was the politest man I ever saw. MRS, ANDERSON. NO DANGER. |the matter with you—you look likea ‘duck in a thunder storm ?” | Merritr (wiping his eyes)—‘‘Oh, 'T've just lost my poor poodle. The doc- tor says he died of brain fever.” Mrs. Puawasi (witheringly) — “Well, you needn’t be afraid that you will cateh it.” such goings on would not be endured in a respecta- ble house, but he only put his hand on his breast and threw me more kisses, the brazen wretch! Endur- ance ceased to be the mother of necessity the next’ morning when I found him training Esme- ralda, my little dog, on two chairs. The poor erea- ture was ready to split in two when I heard her cries and came in, I in- vited Mr. Brown, the tailor next door, to come in and throw my new Mr. Jones, the butcher, to help us eject this strange lodger. The excitement nearly emp- tied my house and I had to have it boycotted to fill it again. Mr. Jones is a man of large experi- ence and very sudden ways, and politeness would not affect him as itdid me. The stranger was such a polite man ! Jones bursted the door in and we rushed in. The stranger threw mea kiss, made a bow and turned a back somersault out of the open window. We rushed to the window to view the remains, but the stranger had alighted in a passing carriage and was trying to pull comicbooks.com