Judge — June 19, 1886 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE. ” ob de degrees ob Frien’ship, Honesty, Industry an’ Truf twell de nex|toe matewity widout bein’ fo'ced toe use a baabed-wire fence fo’teen meetin’; laikwise de selection ob regalia. But we mus’ depress de ene- | foot high in de day time an’ keep de fowls undah my bed at night; w'en mies ob de awdah wid ouah impawtance an’ instil in dem a desiah to|I heah dat some ob de cullud men in dis waad hab gone toe work an’ go wid us, Dabfo’, I moves dat we maach toe de grocery ina body an’ quit teahin’ down line fences fo' fuel ; den I'll ‘mit dat daa er suffin’ sce w'it Ole Chocolate wull say now.” |mo’ in a lodge dan tinklin’ cymbals, soundin’ brass, regalia an’ monthly The motion was adopted and the lodge marched down to O’Rafferty’s, | dues, an’ ull recommen’ yo’ awgenization ez de cuab-all dat a suffalin’ where Old Chocolate was discoursing to three or four nondescript ne- public hab been lookin’ fo’ ebbah sense human nacha fust begun toe groes on the pleasures of youth. {need mendin’.” xs J. A, WALDRON, “Wat er dis—a fun'rel?” he inquired as the members of the wigwam 2 Ses filed in with the Hon, Welcome at their head. TO DAPHNE. This query put the whole lodge in anger, but the Hon. Welcome tit counseled forbearance and proceeded to enlighten Old Chocolate on the doings of the evening and the desire to honor him by making him a G charter member and a sort of boss prognosticator. The Hon. Welcome Daphne, thy starry eyes I know also named the degrees and disclosed the plan to confer them at the Are soft and kind, next meeting ‘ wid expressive suhemony.” x Whose violet depths the gods, I trow, “Huh-huh,” remarked the old gentleman, reflectively,"‘ but wat'll For love designed. dat ‘mount toe? Yo’ can’t change a pusson’s habits an’ nacha ef yo’ f And yet their glances pierce my heart gib um ez many degrees ez daram on de face ob a fo'teendollar A . ‘With deadly ground thumomytah. Yo' might ez well try fo’ toe cuah bowleggedness by| * «in Rladealaeeee nich sword or dart cuttin’ breeches tight. All the suhemony an highfalutin’ yo’ kin con- : Could ne'er, have found, jer up am ez useless ez a button on de tail ob a shirt. S'pose yo’, Mistah Jones, an Littleneck Green, dar, sweah in de lodge allus to be frien’s, an’ cross fingahs, an salaam twell yo’ heads touch, an’ sing a ode toe Thy tresses, in their wanton play de beauties ob muchewal 'steem, an’ den w’en de lodge am out embaak By sunbeams kissed, in a frien'ly game ob pokah. §'pose yo’ hol’ a straight flush de fus’ Float on the breeze and fade away han’ an’ Littleneck lights ontoe a full, an’ Littleneck bets eberyt'ing on In shadowy mist ; ‘is pusson down toe de porus plastah on ‘is chest, an’ yo’ call an’ wi And yet each gossamer thread T seo whaddo yo’ t’ink yo’ degree ob frien’ship ‘mounts toe den, huht No 18 tet ich ae mattah wudder yo! took de oath toe allus lub each oddah on de bible er} “an, bind me faster unto theo a monkey-wrench, yo’ am boun’ toe fawgit yo'sefs in sich a, moment, an’ ten chances toe one yo’ ull cut an deal wid razzers-twell someun mm. gits mutilated. Frien'smip, gem’n, ama flowah dat sellum blooms toe 7 ohdah an’ one dat am frekently bit by de frost ob suckemstance.” Thy lips—their accents waft to me There was uneasiness on the faces of the wigwam. Sweet, low and clear, An’ dar er de scheme to keep a man hones’ by gibbin um a degree Tike falry musics harmony, labeled dat way. Wy, yo’ might cz well try fo’ toe cuah a misfit shoe Partie ni salad by gibbin’ cathaatic pills,” continued Old Chocolate. ‘I doan’ know para sane mo’en a dozen cullud men in dis waad w’o wudn't try mighty hard toe Wace worad lkab comdusention to fin’ out de secret oba padlock wid a shinglenail ef de padlock stood ‘The grimmest death, guaad at de do’ ob a hen house, degree or no degree. Buckshot, gem'n, y OPSae ae aimed lew, er a bull-dog dat doan’ advahtise 'is business twell he begins So suffering man must needs confess, hit ull do mo’ in fo’ minutes to’d ‘vincin’ a man dat honesty am bettah It doth appear, en policy dan a lodge ritual wud ef yo’ laaned hit by haat. Ez fo’ yo’ That, clothed in all your loveliness, oddah degrees ob industry and truth, I doan’ set no mo’ sto’ by dem. You're dangerous, dear. Dar er Littlenosed Pete a’n’t used his w’itewash brush in so long datde SAMUEL, DUFFIELD OSBORNE, hair's a'mos' all feli outen hit; an’ yo’, Thundahbolt, dun borrered my AN UNREASONABLE WORLD. gaaden rake a y’ar ago, an tole me mo’ lies abo'ut w'en you war gwine toe fetch hit home dan dar er teeth in hit. Do yo's'pec, gem'n, dat] YOUNG WRITER (without a reputation)—“I find plenty of things jinein’ a lodge er gwinter kereck dese habits? I doan’, enny mo! en {|t0 write about, but I can’t get them published.” s'pec dat ahen ull git web feet by ‘soshaten wid ducks. No, gem'n, I|, OUP WRITER (with a reputation) —\' That's just how I was at your doan’ desiah toe jine. Goon wid yo' lodge, an’ w'en Ikin ruse chickens| te write stout." * Pon OF Orders fo All and can't think of anything L SUBTERRANEAN STYLE. “Bripart—“ Good mornin’, Katy ; shure Oim tekin a shmall bit av air as well as yoursilf. Phat are yez shtandin’ on?” Katy—‘ Troth Oi hev an ould soap box under me fut.” Brinoet—“ Phy don’t yez put on some shtyle? im on the top av a cham-pag-ny basket, s0 Oi am.” comicbooks.com