Judge — May 15, 1886 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Vig HUNT THE HAR, Down on the beach in the fresh sea air Tplayed that season at hunt the hair. Before me my lady lightly sped, Her splendid hair keeping just ahead. It floated up and it floated down, Rippling and waving, a golden brown. ‘The sun-rays came like a comb of gold And tried the tresses in vain to hold. At last she stopt on the white sea sands ‘And caught them as captives in her hands. I laughed for Joy as she called me there And smiled a welcome behind her hair. * Lady," I cried, “ my love's best endeavor T bequeath to you and your heirs forever.” With tender sigh she looked fondly dowa And pinned me close in her tresses brown. oe en eRe net's, My lady Lies in her little bed; On the white pillow reclines her head. But sport is over for bunt the hair— ‘The search is fruitless; the hills are bare. ‘While lies before me upon her chair ‘That hair I once hunted—cold, dead hair, I think with wonder how I could dare Give life for a trife light as hair, Jomx sTiLiwELL. ‘A RURAL SCENE, “Dear, adored one! what weather; what de- licious odors; how I delight in the smell of new-mown hay.” “Oh, quite so; it really gives one an appe- tite.” HEARD ON THE BOULEVARD IN PARIS. “* What's become of Chalumuk ¢” “Poor fellow! he ruined himself and as since taken to absinthe.” “Absinthe! Ah, yes—the alcohol of adver- | sity.” "wreecuTOn An insignificant subordinate in a public office was bewailing the removal of his supe- rior officer, ‘You surprise me,” said one of his fellow- employes.‘ What has he ever done for you?” “What has he ever done for me? Why he never did me any harm, and I call that a great deal.” ‘AN EXCELLENT DIFFERENCE, A Parisian father is questioning his son, a young sub-lieutenant who has joined General Boulanger's new military club in Paris. ‘* What do they do at your club ?” “Oh, they read the newspapers, play, drink, smoke "—— ‘Good! And how much better that is than spending one’s time at the cafes. THE JUDGE'S LUNCH. Ernest Schilling—“ Let her go, Gallagher.” En passant it might be remarked that a bad Schilling sometimes ret 5 Lotta is mad. Some admirer presented her with a Brazilian ape, and she has a suspicion that the gift is a retlection upon her monkeyish proclivities. There have been a great many sad things connected with the Charleston earthquake, but the saddest of all is that the New York | baseball club was not within reaching distance. | Eddy’s Squib wants to know ‘“‘ why the cor- ners of an actor's mouth when in repose always | turn down ?” This is a contemptible reflection |upon a noble profession. Who ever saw an actor's mouth in repose ? Lord Lonsdale states that the man who says so is more or less of a liar, and that his visit to this country is for no other purpose than to hunt the American buffalo. He proceeds to THE UNKINDEST CUT OF ALL, OLp man—‘“ Fifty cents? Great Scott! isn't that a great deal for blacking a pair of boots ?* BoorsLack— Oh, no; dat’s my regular charge when I blacks by de hour.” Staten Island at once upon his arrival, and hopes that his impressions of American sport will be as agreeable as the graphic descriptions of Nat. Goodwin and John R. Rogers have led him to anticipate. THE FOX AND THE CRANE. A Fox who had a Bone stuck in his Throat begged a passing crane to push it Down, prom- ising as Compensation the immediate Liquida- tion of a Little Bill which had long been Ow- ing. The Credulous Bird consented, but when she had Fulfilled her Part of the Contract the Perfidious Animal bit off her Head and Pro- ceeded to Lunch on the Remains. Moral—This affecting incident shows us that creditors should never be forward in present- ing their bills. ASKING TOO MUCH. They say that Horace Greeley once drank a milk punch without suspecting the whisky in it. Horace was so ‘RS. POGWASH'S SAYINGS. It's. a wise father who knows his own son. A woman is never as old as she looks. Keep your wife out of the auction- room. A divorce is a poor way out ofa bargain. A woman's hair grows gray before a man’s. It is easier to win a wife than to keep one. It is easy for a man to be a hero to his wife. ANOTHER BRILLIANT IDEA, absent-minded he frequently ig- nored the presence of his best friends. He once remarked to Mrs. Greeley, “My dear mad- ame, have we not met before? Surely Irecognize the face of your little girl.” Whereupon Mrs. Greeley made a sharp remark which restored his mental equilib- rium. But the story of the milk punch? Ask us not to believe such an absurdity as that. Some one has said that women cannot jump. Per- haps he never saw A woman can never hit the nail on the head. Mr. Jones, why has been kicked off the stoop before by his intended father-in-law, is looking for revenge by placing a brick in his bustle for the benefit of the old gentleman, OLp oext—‘‘Oh, oh! murder! I have broken my leg. Joxes— Did you speak, sir?” an old maid jump —at an offer of marriage. comicbooks.com