Judge — May 8, 1886 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

8 JUDGE. A SURE CURE. Tcan't go to school. I've got an awful —" Well, castor oil is the best thing in it must be, for the pain has gone now. strange ladies, the examiner, looking through his spectacles with amiable shrewdness, would interrogate with respect to the authorship of Shakespeare, the origin of matter, the material of which Mr. Noah's ark was constructed and the place where the same landed, the kind of life, if any, that exists in the moon, the cause and the removal of cholera and kindred epi- demics, the probabilities with respect to the hereafter, and so on. Any one of these questions Mr. Cleveland could answer with neatness and despatch, however stupid the man who needs acheap office may be; and these are the kind of questions set down in the books of the examining boards to be applied to applicants for positions, from that of serub- woman up to, if not including, that of mar For that matter the president could sat- torily answer the questions adapted to the case undoubtedly, but the boards never ask hing of that kind. the JupGe congratulates both the lady and gentleman and wishes them long life and happiness, There is no obstacle to their union. The appointments have been mutually made and will undoubtedly be confirmed in the usual way. No intellectual mugwump with a ‘e will interpose his presence to object to the ceremony or steal the bride, and Reform 1 pain.” the world for that kind of pain.” "He goes too. an advantage which need not have been con- ceded, The fight on the Third avenue road was begun because of the use of “insulting words” by employes opposed to labor unions and the refusal of the company employing them to discharge them. The tie-up of other roads capped the climax of this foolishness, and of course had to be abandoned. Every step made by these local organizations has been to the rear, and that at the very time when labor needed all the conservative wisdom it could command. The other night Herr Most harangued a gathering of socialists, apparently under the impression that they were workers, and ad- vised them to arm, incidentally offe them guns at ten dollars apiece—which would probably net the generous soul a large profit, About the same time some workers in Green- point left the sugar refineries in which they | were employed and immediately proceeded to inaugurate a riot, and for days were busily em- ployed in beating such men as dared to take their places in the deserted works. For weeks two women bakers have been boycotted by in- dividuals who have apparently nothing better to do, and the result is that the women are making more money than ever before, publi sentiment giving them money very liberally and likewise alarger trade than they have here- tofore enjoyed. Between its unwise friends and its open ene- with a large R will lift up her hands and bless the children of her adoption. ter to ensure protection against foreign contract labor. Happily, the free traders remain timid. as a matter of prudence or conscience, and are likely to do nothing very dangerous at pres- ent, but there can be ample protection in due season by providing for it at the polls. For the present look out for the hounds, ye Knights of Labor! They are in your midst as well as at your front and heels. They repre- sent anarchy. They fly the banner of incen- ‘diarism. They threaten riot and murder. They | outrage freedom of opinion with their boycotts. They provoke public sentiment with their jchildishness, Takecare of the enemies within your gates and you can fight free trade and monopoly with a fair assurance of final and complete success LET THE CEREMONY PI |. There need be no civil-service examination jin the case of the young lady who is believed to have been selected for mistress of the white house. The president underwent nothing of that kind, and the rule applies to the mistress as well as the master of the national establish- ment. If there were to be competitive exam- | inations in the premises it would be the privil- | ege of the lady to order them, but as long as she is satisfied without them the rest of the | world need not complain. But Grover Cleveland, who isa very lucky man, would not have to be alarmed if the lady FOR OLD ACQUAINTANCE SAKE. Jonssox— Have you any objection to lending one you know so well five dollars?” r3—" That's the only objection, my boy. I know you too well.” THERE MUST BE PEACE! There is a dreadful upheaval of Democratic sentiment as a result of the proposition tomake mies labor is having a very hard time of it,! were to insist on the vigorous intellectual ex- and the worst of it is that there is small pros-| ercises which are the price of office in most of pect of an improvement. As the days go on! the smaller cases. Nothing pertaining to the the feeling between labor and capital grows office to which he is about to be elected would more bitter, and men like Mr. Powderly have! be asked him if the rules of the civil-service partially ceased to control the organization! examination were strictly adhered to. If it which without their wisdom might easily be- | were advisable to know whether he would be come dangerous and so lose vastly more than! away from home later than ten o'clock at night the progress it has made. Itought to beenough | the question would be, ‘‘On what part of the for labor to do to fight the general enemy, and| earth's surface are the mountains of the Moon in order to do this effectually it must be more} located?” If information were desired as to thoroughly disciplined and controlled than it| his liberality in money matters and the extent has yet been. The monopolists are very strong, of his bibulous propensities, the e und to fight them well there must be a com-| would inquire, ‘‘ What is the utmost amount pact, thoroughly commanded force, at peace|of steam to be permitted a boiler of a cer with itself and given to no recklessness or dis-| tain circumference and constructed of cer- orderly conduct. The labor element ought to| tain material?” If there were questions with have more friends in congress than it can pos-| regard to pin-money, club-life, long absences sibly have as long as it acts unwisely, the bet-| from the domestic hearth, and interviews with Secretary Whitney secretary of the treasury, the place he most wanted when sent to the navy. The Brooklyn Eagle says Whitney is con- nected with the Standard oil company by blood and bullion. ‘By tradition, rumor, report, suspicion,” adds the Eagle, ‘‘ Whitney is also related to many shady sides of large under- takings, not to say jobs, in metropolitan poli- tics.” And then the Eagle says that in the president's mind “gratitude is heresy and trea- son.” He may repudiate those who helped elect him, but he must not give Whitney any further favors, that gentleman being ‘‘a little too rich and altogether too complicated to please the Democracy.” Now how can a president get along when leading men of the party to which he assumes to belong repudiate him in that way? Have not these men been informed already that his comicbooks.com