Judge — April 24, 1886 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

COLLEGE RE-VISITED. Ewas a guileless college youth, ‘That mirrored modesty and truth; ‘And sometimes at his musty room His sister called, to chase the gloom, One afternoon, when'she was there, Arranging things with kindly care, As often she had done before, There came a knock upon the door. Our student, sensitive to fears Of thoughtless comrades’ laughing jeers, Had only time to make deposit Of his dear sister in a closet ; Then haste the door to open wide: — His guest unbidden stept inside. He was a cheery-faced old man, And with apologies began For calling, and then let him know That more than fifty years ago, When he was in his youthful bloom, He'd occupied that very room ; So thought he'd take the chance, he said, To see the changes time had made. “The same old window, same old view— Ha, ha! the same old pictures, too!” ‘And then be tapped them with his cane, And laughed his merry laugh again, “The same old sofa, I declare ! Dear me! It must be worse for wear. The same old shelves !” And then he came the closet door. “The same— A woman's dress pee} pel through. he could he closed i He shook his head.“ Ah . Old game, young man, the same old game!” “Would you my reputation slur?” ith gasped: “ That's my sister, sir!” 1” said the old man, with a sigh “The same old lie—the same old lie GEORGE BIRDSEYE. OLD CHOCOLATE. ME DEPLORES THE FACT THAT A JOB OF WHITEWASHING | GOES BEGGING, AND DELIVERS A LECTURE ON LAZI- NESS, TO LITTLE PURPOSE. A. frolicsome goat paused between gam- | bols actuated by the ating sun to eat daintily of the things which had] been disclosed in the gutter by the departed snow. The scene was \ in the street adjacent ) ‘to O'Rafferty’s groc- \iSery, the rendezvous of the colored coterie of which Old Choco- late is the shining) light. The front of this grocery challenges at- tention because of a protruding platform which is out of all proportion to the main structure. It resembles one of those forepieces occasion- ally seen on the cap of an emigrant. The grocery proper stops seventeen feet short of the street line, but the platform covers all the in- tervening space between the doorway and the hig O’Rafferty originally designed to have a front dooryard; but with one of those idiosyneracies characteristic of men who are the architects of their own houses as well as their own fortunes, he at last determined to erect. a platform in place of a plat. The roomy stretch of this structure may account for the popular- ity of the grocery as. a lounging place in sum- | ny by firing this JUDGE. 6 mer, as the stove with- in does for its attract- iveness in winter. The sun was so warm that steam curled up- wand from the humid corners of the platform, on which, picturesque- ly intermixed with a business-like display of codfish, soap, pork barrels, early vegetable seeds suggestive of the | coming season of re- newed life and growth, and new hoes,rakes and other implements of in- _____| dustry, were Old Choc- olate, Neverdie Calhoun, Littleneck Green, and other gentlemen of more or less color. Old Chocolate alone showed evidences of recent toil. He was covered with the remnants of ashes he had ‘‘toted” to the dump. Neverdie was eating a sliver of codfish surreptitiously torn from a part of the grocery display. Lit- tleneck was watching the goat, and was so moved by the atmospheric charm that he be- gan to hum this seasonable lay: de sun er gittin’ up ‘arly in the mawnin't “Arly in de mawnin'! © watch de bush an’ vine! 0 de sun er gittin’ up ‘arly\in de mawnin’! Niggah, w’at yo" whin‘in’ "bout? © git in de shine! O de sun er gittin’ up ‘arly in de mawnin’! ‘Arly in de mawnin'! Wintah’s got de O de sun er gittin’ up ‘arly in de mawnin’ Niggah, don't yo" pine no mo'—O, git in de shine! Littleneck’s vocalism had set the feet of his | companions in a shuffle, when a white citizen, tlemen returned to the platform to bask in the sun. Old Chocolate emerged from the grocery, where he had made a purchase, and looking around on the disciples of leisure said: “Gem’n, I doan’ desiah toe haam de feelin’s ob any ob my frien’s, but I tink dat ef busi- ness ‘pended on sich mopin’ people ez some widin de soun’ ob my voice, we nebber ud heah ob factories runnin’ ovah-time, an’ dar wudn’ be no need fo’ steam-car speed in nuffin’.” “Yo! doan’ ‘spec’ dat a pusson wants toe wuck de fus’ pleasant day dat comes in de spring, do yot” asked one of thecompany who had fled at the whitewashing proposition. “Ez fo’ dat,” replied Old Chocolate, ‘‘de man w'at a’nt angshus toe wuck de fus’ pleas- ant day ob spring awtah be cotched widout coal in ’is store de fus’ col’ day ob wintab. I is afraid dat dis is a lazy company, an’ I a’nt gwine toe be back’ard about sayin’ w’at I tink. Lazy folk is laik chillen. Da ull do mo’ fo’ fun, er in play, dan er necessumsa’y toe make a squa’ day’s wuck in dead ‘a’nest. Dar er Littlenosed Pete, w’o went by heah wid a fish- pole. He got up dis mawnin’ befo’ daylight, an’ dug ovah groun’ nuff a-lookin’ fo’ fish- wums toe plant a half-acre ob p'tatahs. He ull walk fo’ mile down toe de crick, wade roun’ in de mud all day, an’ ull cotch ez many fish ez he cud buy wid one hour's squa’ wuck wid de w'itewash brush, besides spilin’ his boots an’ gittin’ a col’ in de head dat he'll hab toe doc- tah twell de Fofe ob July. Heah er oddah folks hangin’ roun’ dis yer groc’ry—I won't mention no names—dat flee w’en da see a job comin’ toe’ad de mez fas’ ez dough de debbil his- se'f wah aftah um. An’ yit da ull go home an’ evidently in haste, [— drove up to the platform and con- fused the compa- query at random: “Anybody here want a job of whitewashing?” Old Chocolate explained his oc- cupation, adding: “Tis got mo’ ashes toe tote dan ull las’ me twell de fus' ob May; but ef I hadn't, sah, I'd be yo’ huckle- berry.” Neverdie s wal- lowed the codfish he had been chew- VERY STRANGE. Miss Carorine—‘‘Isn't it strange, the young men seem to be getting more bashful every year? eat col’ vittles, borry tobacco, spar dair neigh- bors fo’ gaaden seeds, an’ ez laik ex no’ assist in de disappearance ob asettin’ ob hen’s eggs er a pullet, an’ deny knowl- edge ob de mat- tah nex’ day wid de stain ob egg yolk on dair shirt-fronts er a feathah fom de pullet_a-stic kin air clo’.” There was a concerted rust- ling around that | made Old Choe- ing, groaned, handled his head as though his | neck had suddenly stiffened, and remarked, “Fo! de Lawd, sah, I is so ole dat hit make me dizzy toe look up at a ceilin’.” Littleneck resented the stranger's interroga- tion, when applied to him, and with “ J nebbah whitewash, sah!” joined the nondescripts of the party, who had retired to the seclusion of | the grocery as soon as they learned the strang- er’s want. At this point “‘ Littlenosed Pete,” a burly African whose organ of smell had been curtailed of its fair proportions by a bulldog as he was once seeking entrance to a hen-yard through a hole in the fence, walked up with a/ fish-pole on his shoulder. Old Chocolate, on behalf of the stranger, asked Pete if he would not embrace the proffered job. ‘ I’se gwine fishin’ toe-day,” was the response, and the fish- erman added, ‘‘I dun got my bait all dug. Mo'en dat, I s’pec’ toe Bit wuck w’en de steam- boats git toe runnin’. As the stranger drove away, the colored gen- | wishin’ fo’ suffin toe do, olate spring backward, as though fearful of violence. But as he looked around and saw each of the company brush his shirt front and inspect his clothing as though suspicious that his sin had found him out, the old gentle- man concluded his phillipie: “Gem'n, de lazy man flees w'en wuck am aroun’, but w'en business am dull he'm allus A man wid health an’ a appetite a’nt got no mo’ right fo’ toe loaf roun’ dan a stove wid a good draft hab toe refuse toe bu'n fuel, er a window toe gib light. Toe be sho’, yo’ can't ‘spec’ a souah apple tree toe grow sweet apples, but ef hit er a good yah | fo’ fruit hit awtah hole suffin’ on hits branches fo’ toe show. A man w'at doan’ laik toe wuck | toe-day ‘case de sun shines an’ he feels laik loafin’, won't want toe wuck termorrer’case de win’ am right fo’ fishin’, an’ can't wuck de day aftah termorrer ‘case hit rains. A bird in de han’ am wuff a flock in de wildahness. De job dat knocks on yo’ do’ toe-day ull ovahtake comicbooks.com