Judge — March 20, 1886 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

14 AN EXCUSAB! JUDGE. LE MISTAKE. Natural mistake of Mr. Jones mention some of these luminaries in their countries. ‘These old tads were famous star gazers and the thoroughness with which they did their work, even without our improved telescopes, spectacles and glass eyes, is attested by the fact that they the names of many of the stars, and the fact that we call them by these names still shows the early astronomers to have been correct. | Indeed, these superannuated star sharps | could see more in the sky than we can. They must have had eyes of a hundred optic power, gine imag could see such things in the sky as ing a big bear around the pole star, a sh nursing a kid in his lap, a hunter with a club in his right water pitchers, fishes, twins, and other bric-a-brac which our most | powerful telscopes fail to reveal The stars do not all seem to be built of the same material exa y of lead wear, whi ome are composed nd calcium) warranted to e others have nickel trimmings and | consequently come higher. Othersagain con at loads of ordinary pig iron and other junk, and are quoted lower than the | tain g The painstaking ¢ in procuring samples of the y ferent stars and in assaying them, annot be too high! The an- nt astronomers did not know the material | of which these h ly bodie but we have got it down fir lief that the moon wasn no longer held by advan adopted the th ly of stag « re of modern scientists, rld of these dif- mposed posed € justasth the luna went into bankruptcy during the panic of 11,907 B.C. again the stars vary in age, some nd giddy while others are fairly with decrepitude. Capella and ce, are in the prime of were found by the receiver w F able stars. Sirius and ° getting old and) knock-kneed and approaching bald- are show atthe M Art Collection. Plirgende Blactter, is also known as tl ked himself into premature ces sive duties imposed upe mid summer, when he ought'to have his vacation: ese and Antares’ are veritable pat mong the heavenly bodies. They old and walk with a cane wind blows through their whiskers, and it is ex- pected that the life insurance companies which hold risks on their lives will soon have to pay the amount of their policies What tiese stars drink I cannot say, for the most careful analysis has failed to find either water or beer, or even a pocket fl anywhere about them japs they do not drink at all, and this may a at for their great for T understand that people who drink die early and often. This example of the abstinence of tl urs has neve cited, as far as T know, by temperance lectu- rers; but they are perfectly at liberty to use itas a snatcher of brands from the burning. SIVITER. th been SHE WILL DUST. A Woman ope nd said that nothing w door about s wanted he you kindly inform me who she queried, coming out on the step. Why, its a new family and TE don't: re- member t ood deal of style, doesn't Rather.” “Tthought so, That's the way with that sort of people: they put it all on their backs. Tasked if she didn't want a duster to dust off h Up furniture and bri door in my fe the w rlor blinds at Well, Vl and if there should be any other invention to dust brie-a Loil paintings you might eall around. You ring ‘me a box of polish for my ness, though it is likely that the former, which silverware.”"—Detroit Free Press, A BACHELOR'S CAROL. nats happy ax How I pity you Be WwW wrong! time ww just where I've had narrow escapes, too, 1 And my gratitude now 1 exp In sincerity, if not in artistic rhyme, To the dear girls who wouldn't say ** Yes.” now, the beauty who first won where would [be n seven four years from the start —Somercille Journat. OTHER DECISIONS. ditor of the Rochester DOE the be JUDGE is th htest, wittiest and most hand- somely — illustr journal in’ the country, Mitchellville la.) lade Some foundlings ir under the sun they ¢ Burlesquiny popular wi like we wonder w from. — Albany Journ acred subjects will always be ists. 1 suppone ties —CURI E ‘DEAF AMUSEMENTS. - ye. ATH AVENUE AND. Mati LIN COLLARS & CUFFS BEST IN THE WORLD ve to any oth poietic SHORTHAND wow esuonnny Mah. FOR SELF-INSTRUCTION. wen Pages, ete Py, Call weierigh tmstrue TELEPHONES SOLD. ‘Don’t pay exorbutant rental fees te = | comicbooks.com