Judge — January 9, 1886 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE JUDGE. 7 notes, und about an hour later there was a Quips and Quizzes. { love, it won’t rain on Monday, for it will || slight puff of wind from the north-east which ig Como make so many hearts sad.” |} Tnoted down, and when 1 looked up my ae ene | Merrit (touched by her thoughtfullness)— ) friends had for the ranch, sayi HE WAS VERY PRACTICAL. | “Ah, yes; the poor washerwoman.” back t vy hh feeding to do. She (emphatically)—“ How kind of ia. | Ie WAS RATHER mteH, eze more breezy ture to bestow upon the blind the faculty | 20 milesan hour, Pr re on the wind | o¢ distinguishing colors by the sense of instruments 40 pounds to square inch. touch.” | Tested the Mute and tind Lean play all the | "TT. (hitosophieally)— Yes; but its not popular airs, with variations, without using altogether contined to the sightless. In this my mouth, . hard world a fellow needn't be blind to feel 1:20 no. OW Crusty Old Gentleman (to expre “1 want to Clerk (aft umn of 1 four dollars and sixty cents, Old Gentleman (knowingly, as he walked i a long col- st you just healthier, 50 aM out)—“T'll take good care that it : getti : BY in my tem HE SAW TIE JOKE. don’t. i ber an an peratttre. Velocity ae Young Blood (to ex-pugilist)— I hear OETrixo coop snow. Wt you've turned pirate.” - 5 , 3x-Pugilist’ (with a lamb like Young Poet (desperately)—* I’ve entered “ What are you givin’ me, young’ur @ poem in competition for thi a.” Young Blood (shifting the responsibility) | Friend (skeptically)—** W Phe kid says you're now a fre 7) but Vm afraid you'll nev Music Ey-Pagilist (with a loud guffaw)— Poet (confidently) the ha! that's pretty good. He means that. I copied the b abouncer in a New York dive, don’t you || on the move, mixed with fat and lean streaks of cold. | Mereury mile) — eed GO miles I don’t know about t T could find.” getting shorte sll blown out of thermomete nor flask M18 IDEA OF A GENTLEMAN, Cold getting a on it, soam [, an’t tell the T my wind-testers wbout 150 miles an hour. a. My pencil was blown out of my hand, and { was blown off my feet and || was fearful my feet would be blown off of me The cl e all blown out of the sky for forty m Anchored toa stump to ns of the but judge A DIPFERENCE WITH A DISTINCTION, goon Young Man (just married)—* If you'll country. You see, a friend come with me this evening I'll introduce | of mine, who is a member of a fashionable you to my pretty wife’s siste club, invited me to take a ran down to see Friend (carelessly) —** Some other time, | the new club house.” old boy.” “How did you enjoy it? Six months later they met again, and the |‘ Not so much as | expecte friend remarked: couldn't get down while I was ther zaard «I'm ready for that introduction now.” | course, the members were all stran Introduction? Ah, yes; I remember it | me, and J felt. somewhat embarras now. I offered to present you to my wife’s | ticularly as they pretty sister.” y than I dic ‘The wind was entirely loose and picked up more velocity and ferocity on the route, nd, pare though T felt safer behind that stump than [usband (to wife)—“ There’s Bracon, for | “I don’t know abont that; but they were T would have felt in the xanc he, at deat au instance; he does everything by fits and such well-bred yentlemen that they ignored || ¢ some other stumps on the hill gtarts.”” me altogether.” and let go. ‘The land- rife (who liad beon lecturing ¢ rol | 7 Wife (who had been lecturing on the rol ald bs joked like ths ling stone that gathers no moss)—* Then A MISUNDERSTANDING, | t doubt it was, he’s like you, dear.” | te . : j | opened my mouth toward the Husband (smiling)— Ob, no; he’s an _ He (with a touch of caddish pride)— wind to yell for somebody to come and hold epileptic.” ei snongh vain poor, Lam square and up- me down, the wind made a fog-horn of iny right, 3 iss ler: ‘Wacdi=xit’ || mouth, and it was hard work to get it shut For THEM. na he (musics HH incline¢ foe re you aie again, it was so full of wind. — Hay-stacks, Gora (thinking of the say) Bones | bethcaautrers ae henameceen | | which probably had been gold to bo deliv. ‘ora (thinking of the matinee)—‘' I hope, | both square and upright at the same time? | ered down the valley, then the als from the se t started ts, then d the air was that I thought meaterologs ionally a cow-boy went whirli probably in pursuit of the live had only had a skiff how nicely I could have ridden down the wind! ‘The funniest thing of it was the storm ceased suddenly as if it | had been sawed off, but it had blown all the air out the country, and left nothing but ld behi It was cold enough al- to satisfy those fellows at the signal in Washington. I was reseued, but it seemed to me that my brains had all been blown out through my ears, All the ranch buildings were gone, but the people came up out of their cellars and said it n't been as bad as usual, as it sometimes blew the cellars out of the ground and carried them | off, When Brown sat in that chair there and coolly told his big-winded story, we thought his head was not entirely clear of wind yet. A.W. BELLAW, Another Revision of the Rules. All the girls of the period purpose to revise the rules of th use, SO as to oust “ Mister Sheeny, don't yer want ter buy some bones?” the old man from the committee on appro- “Fudder Abraham! 1 vos haf already more bones in my schop dan vot I can dakes priations. care of.” comicbooks.com