Judge — January 2, 1886 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE JUDGE. THE JUDGE. PUBLISHED ONCE A WEEK, TERMS TO SUBSCRIBERS. (UsrreD States axp Caxapa) ts apvasce, One copy, one year. or BOTW liesiece wccoiy ecene 8 eco One copy, six months, or Baumbers see ears 20. One copy, for 13 weeks rey ples cents rack; THE JUDGE PUBLISHING COMPANY, 824, 326 and 328 Pearl St., NRW YORK TO CORRESPONDENTS AND CONTRIBUTORS. EP-ConnesrosvENTs WILL PLEASE TAKE NOTICE THAT THEY ayn Moa. TO THUS OFFICE AT THEIR OWN HUSK. WHERE staxrs ARE FORSISHED WE WILL RETCRS REJECTED MATTER, Ai SIULE, BUT WE DISTINCTLY REFUDIATE ALL RESPONSIBILITY FOR SCC INEVERY CASE, WHERE 4 PRICE 18 SOT AFFITED OY TWE WRITER, CONTRIRCTIONS WILL BE REGARDED 48 ORATETTOCS, AxD $0 SU>DSE. QUEST CLAIM YOR REMUSERATION WILL BE ESTERTAISED, WHERE 4A PART OSLY OF CONTRIBUTIONS 18 CRED, THAT PART Ww PAID FOR FRO RATA ON THE PRICE AOREED CrOx FOR 7 coxmosaext, PICTORIAL CHESTNUTS. Tue Jupoe artist—and no doubt every other cartoonist, if his secret fvelings were known—heartily sympathizes with Mark ‘Twain’s demand in the catacombs for “a fresh corpse.” ‘The people that have been laid out, figuratively or literally, in the old year’s cartoons have become, as Mr. Mantelli- ni would say, ‘‘dem’d unpleasant bodies and the artists sigh, ‘Oh, give us a rest!” ‘To which the Subjects and the Pul doubt, will breath a fervent “amen!” Bat know ye, oh, gentle Public and pic- turesque Subjects, that men of both marked characters and marked persons are scarce, and the cartoonist has to use what the gods send him, and ask no questions, It isn’t every man who makes a figure in the public eye who can be made a figure in a cartoon. ‘The long-felt want is a system of dis guishing marks for public men—something in the line of Ben. Butler's accomodating personality. ‘The greatest defect ina repub- lican government is that the constituency does not know its representative as it ought. Here comes in the cartoonist to act as_mas- ter of ceremonies and present the public man to the public in such a way that he may be recognized at a glance and the twain be made acquaint. To facilitate this great work of reform let the public man be always amarked man. Give us a lot of new men with new principles, new consciences (neither too tough nor too elastic) and new marks, and then the new year may be a happy year | for Tue Junge and the public, | , no SHAM WATCH-DOuS. y is uniformly unfortunate with its reformers. If it sets a ‘‘ favorite son,” upasareformer he must turn out ‘the worst pill in the box,” or the party is sure to fight him. It either approves such a re- former as Mayor Grace or fights such a re- former as Cleveland. The explanation is that it is itself for reform but ‘* agin the enforce- ment of it.” the Treasury,” Randall and Holman. They were good Democrats so long as they pre- vented the disbursement of money for pub- lic purposes by Republican administrations, But when the Treasury and all offices ame | into Democratic hands, and the watch-dogs still proposed to watch, then, as the Dutch- man said about the proposal to tax beer, “dot makes somedings tifference.” Then the Demoera “in Congress as- sembled,” showed up its famous economists, Randall and Holman, as sham reformers, dummy-watch dogs, men who while using their positions on the appropriation commit- tee against expenditures in other states, had secured lavish disbursements in their own. Thus, one by one, do the idols of Democra- cy topple. Success is a great detector of hypocrisy. Politicians are honest when they are not trusted. UNCLE SAM'S SAD NEW YEAR. Though it is ten months since the govern- ment passed out of the hands of the Repub- licans, genuine Democratic rule did not be- gin till Congress assembled. The executive has not been purely Democratic, but a queer compound of Republicanism, Democracy Mugwumpism and egotism. The Democratic House represents the Democratic party. ‘The appropriations will test the use thatethe party designs to make of power, It is now first in order to settle whether the spoils do belong to the victors. The House of Representatives is the consti- tutional distributor of the national ‘‘boodle.” The departments demand an increase of employes and the whole increase of appro- priations from exccutive departments is above fifty millions. The Treasury sur- plus that Democratic stump orators wept over as an unjust tax on the people is melt- ing away at the rate of five millions a month, and not a dollar of bonds has been paid off since Cleveland came in, Tilden ‘ goes the entire swine,” and demands keeping up the taxes, paying no more bonds and disbursing all the fands on grand, helter-skelter fortifi- cation jobs. To open the way for all this, the House rules have been amended to refer appropriation bills toa dozen jobbing committees, with the usual extravagant re- sults: a scrub-race to sce which committee shall get the largest grabs from the Treasury. Uncle Sam has this agreeable prospect for his happy New Year. here were those ‘fierce watch-dogs of RULINGS. Wuat Is THE ™ ING of all this demand for compulsory education? Has there ever | been any other kind of education? POLITICAL ECONOMY SEEMS to be passing into oblivion in this country, elections are getting so expensive and appropriation bills growing go. A poctor or pivinity in Pittsburgh is charged with ‘conduct unbecoming a min- ister.” Weare at loss to know what the term can mean, since the success of Rev. | Downes. ALL FAME IS COMPARATIV A rich man’s distinction lies in the amount of money he has to let go when he dies, ‘The man who loses the most money goes off with the greatest eclat. Utica, BY A NEW CHARTER, is to have five aldermen-at-large. © We don’t believe a place the size of Utica can stand so many. We have only twelve at largein thiscity and it nearly ruins us. Utica would better provide for having ’em shut up. much A MINISTER IN Nova Scotia, accused of pla ism, putin the plea that he never | cribbed any sermons but those of Unitari- ans and other unorthodox ministers, and he justified himself on the bible plea of spoiling the Philistines. He was let off. Tre retorN or Ricnetteu Ronixson to Washington as a newspaper correspon- dent, after having served in Congress, has created some objection among the members, We should suppose congressmen would be above jealonsies of a man who had risen in respectability. A WASHINGTON MAN Wa | school of politics. His idea is that office- seekers do not have sufficient preparatory training to fit them for public trust. What is the matter with marching in torch-light processions and other general trainings of the campaign? THE INTRINSIC VALUE of a dollar } | tional Bank Note to-day is a quarter of on: jcent. Tear up the flaunting lie! No—give it to us.—The silver ina Bland dollar to-day | is worth 80 cents, in cornered gold, and 100 cents in everything else. Gold is getting | lonesome and losing caste. M. RENAN Pits HIMSELF against St. Paul. The latter speaks of ‘Faith, hope and charity.” But the former declares the grea things to be goodness, beauty and truth, and the greatest of these is truth. Both of these moralists would be accounted old fogies in this country, where obtains this code: «Now abide these three—stocks, bonds and governments, and the greatest of these is | governments.” comicbooks.com