Judge — December 26, 1885 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Tle FATHER COMMENTS ON THE Hany. Mother * Ain't ita pretty litle thing, Its eyes so bright and ch What dimpled checks! w How do you like it, dear?” Father: “My love, L think this little babe All other babes excels, nose, {t has mouth, mercy how it yells!” [Boston Courier, The wicke:l paragrapher never feels his total depravity so much as when he sees his items going around credited to an honest religions weekly.—[Pittsburg Chronicle. A correspondent wants to know what is the best drawing point about that slangy preacher Sam Jones. We really think thi he drawa the hardest on the point of sala [Bloomington Ey “<A goose that crows like a rooster is one of the novelties at Cumberland, Md.” — It may be a rooster, after all. The late elec: tion showed that more than one Democratic rooster of this state made a goose of himself by crowing.—[ Norristown Hers A North Carolina man paid $2,700 for a dog. He got out of it very cheaply. — Peo- ple in Wall street have paid a great deal more tnan that for a pointer and then have found the dog gone—hardest luck they ever struck.—[Indianapolis Herald. Edith—‘ Oh, Maude, have you heard the news? Minnie Westermann’s turned Catholic, and she’s going to take the veil.” Maude (with languid spite)—*‘ Realjy, you don’t say so! Well, I don’t know any girl to whom it would be more becoming.” [Somerville Journal, G FIRE &BURGLAR SAFES MANY TED HAVE MU"PATEN WpROVEMENTS UND IN. NOT FO OTHER MAKES ’ THAT WILL WELL REPAY AN INVESTIGATION BY THOSE ypeine TO SECURE THE BEST SAFE MARVIN SAFE CO. NEW YORK, PHILADELPHIA, LONDON. ENCLAND. MUST BE USED. Dr. Young’s Patent Electric Belts a POR THE CORE oF a SPAS NERVOUS DERILI wh a ZB SOF SWAMTOOD, UPA RS Ese tt P S\ PRR AB. WAM NOETUCL | we know. When I was a youth I knew f Tie UNES, ANAN." ioowing | twice as much as my father. Now Iam aged Tera tow they say) be ? + , ee | ateranee “magrer Heath. "Mrewusagt | and I don’t’ know half as niuch as my sn, , eH Aa K YOUNG, | MEN S& ONLY feito rec grace e ‘tw-Mention this paper. AID | THE JUDGE. Det ‘Don’t say enything against Mudge. He is a friend of mine, he ts, in- deed.” Bolgertop—* a friend in need.” DeGuy—*‘ I should say | he was. I never meet him but he strikes me ' for a dollar.”—[Philadelphia Call. hen he ought to be Let us then be up and doing | With a heart for any fate, Drinking, smoking, swearing, chewing, And make nuisances of ourselves generally, until the voice of conscience whispers in our ears that we had better stop and cogitate.—[ Hatchet. It was a Harvard Sophomore who said‘ the other day, when told that a girl had once taken the highest classical honors of the college; ‘Oh, well, you know the girls have nothing to do but study. We fellows really have so much else to attend to that we don’t don’t get much time for books!” [Boston Record. White Man—* What's the trouble there?” | First. Negro—* Sambo kicked me in de mouf.” Second Negro—* It war all a mis take, sah. Sambo wnz layin’ on de floah wife his mouf wide open, sah; dat hit wuz my boot, sah, an’ I neber know de diffrence till I kotch him by the yeahs, sah, an’ den I knowed my rubbah boots nebbah had sich mon’sus yeahs as dem, sah.”—[Newman Independent. A rich old farmer whose daughter is in a Chicago school was up to sce her recently, and in conversation with a friend, he said that he wasn’t afraid that his daughter would run away with a coachman, but it made him nervous to hear her talking about those handsome cab drivers. The faiend explained what Han was, and the father was less alarmed.—{ Merchant Traveller. Josh Billing’s humor did not attract at- tention until he adopted bad spelling. Rev. Mr. Talmage’s sermons did not draw large * congregations till he practiced gymnastics in the pulpit, and Rev. Mr. Downes did not become popular and have his sermons printed in the newspapers until he—until he from grace,” and was expelled from the church, And yet there are men who con- tinue to permit their lights to glimmer un- | der a bushel measure.—[Nor. Herald. A London paper says that the King of Spain, when he went among his cholera: stricken subjects, ran arisk ten times greater than that which prevented President ( land from being at the funeral of Vice-Presi- dent Hendricks, Thatis 60; but the King’s death would not have blasted the hopes of one-hundred thousand oflice-seekers, who had been “ out in the cold” a quarter of a ‘century. London papers don’t seem to un- derstand the troe inwardness of American polities.—[Nor. Herald. by “Yes, sir,” said Jones to Smith, “as men grow in age and experience they advance in knowlege.” ‘* I don’t think so,” replied Smith. Don’t think so? — That's rather singular. The opinion I hold on the sub- + ject is the universal opinion.” ‘* It may be, but I have my own opinion, nevertheless, and it is that the younger we are the more [Boston Courier. I wuz sartin , ing cards into a A silk tile is set on the floor. ‘The player takes a pack of fifty- two cards, stands eight feet distant and en- deavors to cast them, one by oue, into the receptacle. The person who makes the low- est score has to do all the picking up dur- ing the next round of trials. It is said that a man who never went to school in his life, and vt know a noun from a parellela- gram, can play this elevating game quite as well as the college graduate whose | bursting with knowledge; but it de seem possible.—[Norristown Herald THE MODERN SHAKESPERE, “Look thee, Henrico, thro’ the lattice ‘The winter’s down doth blonde the “It doth, Andromeda, tho’ tongues ple- beian would scarcely mention it in phrase like that.” “How stealthily the airy crystals wing their devious way thro’ brennal atmosphere, most they seem like liliaceous spray from some wind-kissed Hesperian parterre. Intensely almost, thou Swinburnian one!” | * And where, in fallow grooves, the swirl- ing myths of alabaster mass tl rgent forms, doth it not crystallize the | on- ceit that seraphims do sometimes pillow earth with eoft upholstery of slumberland?” | . “Ergo, it doth, or clse “twould seem to doth.” “And as the winged fa on eddying un- | IMPORTANT TO CONSUMERS OF SOAP! N Your, Nov. 20, 1885, CHAS. S. HIGGINS, Esa. Dear Sir: silet Soap des les of Cole 1.7 and I find your soap to be free whereas COLGATE’S CASHMERE BOUQUET from all impurities, The lute P: of eivilizal AMOUNE of so: said that * le may be juc med by it Twill ’ Je eniployed by t purposes indicate You have demonstrated that a perfecty pure soap may be made. Itiste be Nk PD. rsmall in the makers of the 1 to the consumers. Ladies sho nd do not desire to feritate the delicate surface of the skin, or fil its minute pores, and thus obstruct their heal tion, which would result from the constant an adulterated soap. I therefore cordially commend to them and to the community i al the employment of Your Pure “TA BELLE” Tollet Soap over every adulterated Yours, respectfully, R. OGDEN DOREMUS, M.D., LL. D., Professor Chemistry ant Toxicology in Betecue Hospital rye, and Professor Chemistry anid Physics | Medien! Colley in College City of New York. comicbooks.com