Judge — December 19, 1885 — page 3: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE JUDGE. “7 fix dot,”—und negst dings vot I know, a doctor comes in, LIMBERING UP WITH LAGER. ats me to ped, bumps me mit a shtummick bump owd, sharges me a The German Policeman Invents a Yarn Simply to Point a Moral | thaler und skibs der h Be for His Friend Reilly. | (dot’s goot efening) und come hon k to dot laty’s hus- — | pand a leetle apowd his vife. He obens der vinder, dakes_me py der bee! und end uf my drousers, durns me owtsite in— ween my deeth, und slings me der owd By Jalan Balpd, Author of the en's German Bat “ What soor a month have vou, that ye can shpake thim German wurruds?” Reilly, the blacksmith, inquired of the German ' Policeman. ° und trink some more Cherman—L mean peer—I go righd a m clad you haf asked me dot,” the Policeman der Jantlaty, proud uf my da gifs me a’shance to igs vieh Thaf long ams und cams und Patn ish sbeaking beap! hy Trish, Amer house insite. — 1g und so on—all pelieve dot Got made dem in der in now to Baris, alr Greator und after dot He proke der image und made der rest uf der 18 to pegin at de vorlt ona sord uf a second glass model. Oh, ton’d deny dot! French scholar. . you haf choost asked me vot sort nf a se you “LE hobe you tond dink py dot Uink it isa sord uf a rmbber imidation uf a chennine English mout. | trinking,” the Policeman sard, “You are like dot English chendleman vich to Chermany vent | any apnse, or oxcessive trinking uf 1 My poy Chaky vos hoasd- und dook to trinking peer in orter der Cherman language to learn. der oder day dot he trank feefty, sexty classes peer on Da + He sat weer saloon Iday. nnd at nighd vent home ing. und Tsheolded him.‘ Bedder “you look owd,’ I sayt; in der mosd *how-ha 0’ condition tu bractice sbeaking den or dwendy classes too much for you. Yon are a poy, Cherman mit h uth . e For der shtuil!” nd ufa veek he met an sh frent, ‘und how do you ng mit veur Cherma * dot frent did ask. —d *Chimany Hooky!’ he sayd, ttond eall dot my Chei it der Hil’s if you vont to, bat not mine. To mate mit my lantlaty an arrangement to shbend der day bicking Cherman up, and X veeks later, ven Tam aple to grawl beck to der saloon ; ay beck 's vork—und vot you dink? She urresded und locked der station avay der chob uf learning Cherman. I go y, toget admitted ina deaf und dumb asylum poddom und vork my vay up as a berfect sty Sol ry dot Lam obbosed to peer Not at all—but Lam obbosed to in you-come come MADELINE ON BASE-BALL. DAVID SKAATS FOSTER What a number of nicely dressed people! Tim awfully glad that we came, And you'll he surprised when you find that Lm posted so well on the gam © red stockix 1 know that they'l aud buff colored shirts are win; st lovely Aud that little man there must be short-stop, for bis head wouldn't come tomy | chin, Those three cush If they had them up down in he meadow, Ts here ‘twould be nicer: j groom. | Xow, why does the pitcher feel of the ball, every time hecommences to throw? see if its pr ycurved? And the eateher, poor man! be's consumptive, I know, Or why does he wear that great pad on his chest? Did you. bear those men laugh? T declare Te makes me quite nervous and frightened! and look at then now! how the, stare! There's All Ob, Van What's t nd G ree just arriving; that’s her trick, alve Van Vanitorum! pleas s coming in late, cif my hat is on stra at? Struck a fowl! Ob, how could be? That man has no fee or sense ing Poor little thing! I don’t sce it, it must have crept under the fence. Stole what? Stole a base? Well! 1 wonder such things are allowed on the ground! And w carth has he put it? nd what will b "s found t napy w! he must have been frightfully tir ‘Ther're the Stniths over there ia a landau—ts it theirs or one that they've bired? Jo when i at second? Poor fell whitewashed? What nonsenset That's the silliest thing in Yall; And why isn't k ine better, if they've 1 You don’t look as if you'd en } The red-stockit at nighd she kindly ing a leetle mit he | *** Der firsd day I trank peer from 6 a, M. to goot afdernoon) und vent home und sat der She comes in und I shbeak a leedle mit her. cot todo tat all? a. (dot's “3 barlor; she says. ¢ But ‘twas awfully edit, Vil wager you're glad that it's and exciti and who, did you tell me, bad won? National Wakes ToOADY-INCLINED JOURNALS repeat with! — It is positively exhilarating to patriots to admiration marks the tradition that Van- | see the interest that the Democrats now take —_ in the law of presidential succession. So long as Republicans were in the executive - derbilt once shook hands with an. er Tho expense account of the members of | Oy the Contral Tt Re eavine that he congress at the Hendrick’s funeral is not in | OM te Ventral K. Ik., saying that he bench they didn’t seem to care whether yet, but from the decreased account of ashamed to do so—i, ¢. V. said he ws chaos came by death of Presidents and Vice- drunkenness and misconduct we infer that said Vanderbilt himself wasn’t ashamed. | Presidents, or not. Their patriotic solici- the Lill for cigars and liquors will be smaller Te hasn't been ashamed of shaking a good | ttde now is charming—is as keen and un- than they were for the Garfield funeral. It pany Central employes since for less offences selfish as the interest that Mark ‘T'wain’s dog may be that cconomy in our national wakes than this enginesrce don tk took in the scrambling out of the alkaline is among the imminent reforms. | than this engineer committed on the occasion. | jake that was burning his hair and tail off. comicbooks.com