Judge — November 28, 1885 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

don’t stop to consult me. 8 I never interfere oth wit r people’s business, You ain’t- on my premises, ‘This ain’t my buggy and this ain’t my read.” At this juneture, the broncho, who had now finished this part of his pr exhausted his repertoire, made ze leaps heavenward and started on another flying trip. Away they all went. orge closed lus eyes to Keep out the dust and tried to hold up the half-fainting Clara who lay shricking in his arms. And. still the tof rapid transit proceeded to h his “stint” and stick to the Work first; play afterwards!” last, after wh emed to George he came to another and unexpected H,and fortunately, this event took Iv in fr farm-house. The family, who had been sitting on the pi- azza enjoving the cool of the afternoon, had seen what they had supposed was a ‘ran away coming up the road and rushed down the yard just as the broncho drew up at the front hat steed, panting red with lather and dust, inst har his head in shame when the ished farmer seized him quickly. by bridle, lest he should start off again, looked that honest man straight in the eye and amie, or ne of his motto of At hours, I place + tossed his head in the air, as much as to say: ‘Don’t trouble yourself, Tam through for the present. “How is that for travelling? Bat t can do when I who was in a dead faint—w and placed on a anything to the carringe tuken into the house ofa, where the farmer's *wimmen folks” took her ineharge. When tlast, after a liberal sprinkling of water and several applications of a bottle of harts- horn to her nostrils, ed her eves, her distracted George was bending over I and imploring her, in heart-broken tone Tnotto die. Clura gave a she 0 your front teeth Oh, that wretched broncho has kicked them out, I knew when he threw his bind heels up in the air that last time he was going to do something awful.” , Clara, but I'll have thome new oneth put in to-morrow, We onght to be hankful that our liveth are thpared,” said e, in soothing tones. When Clara was assisted out to the light spring-wagon, in which, through the kind- new friends, she and her y to be conv back to the anding. by vd condition, when they ride, and erment as to how ald have kicked out George's starte y was seized with we broneho ¢ teeth without breaking the dash- Perhaps, if she had known that those teeth were att 1 to what the dentist i red was a ‘solid gold plate” and that ready (in the person of several small boys) were out on their trail, with the eward in case they were have rubbed out one of marks put down against the broncho N. B.—Clara and George now take the air and enjoy the scenery in a Smith street open car, M. Wer tTHove suit w it THE Downe: bout as notorious as anything the lub could furnish, bat the divorce case that followed it was very, very Loud. JUDG OFF THE BENCH. T HE A“ Hevtie” rareic spends much bre- vier to tell * how to use hot water.” ‘There Artists REvORT THAT they have difi- | are many gowl ways, as tramps, canvasser culty in obtaining nude mod No one the minister (when the “men. folks” are nt), the kite er else has experienced this diffienlty. ‘I must be something wrong in the artists. cousin, ete. A PATENT MEDICINE man he his adver- And as to Five THOUSAND five sand, yielded to the alliteration tempt used the head line ** Manton Marble’s > hundrec yews editors, out of a and seventy tisement, * wois a: x thou- you read ou ure that he calls hisenre-ail, not Delay,” and Mis- by me mongrel Greck-Choctaw name. sion” to the same item, | A Bostoy paper » not played | Downs desires to serve the They go on | he will lew of match-fuc- not to have g Byron said if Mr. se of religion Rev. ROLLER SKATING KINKS a out, contrary to prec the pulpit. The B. p ped Rev, D's aspiration—to have failed to throw itself to his solo, as it were. see by virtue of their fun tor “Roll ont to ** thou deep, blue ocean, oll on. THE SNOREOPHONE RY HAMILTON, AUTHOK OF “THE BUNS MAKERS HanbOR,” ETC. ETC. This new inventios the man who can sn is dedicated © more to th ymy snoring friend who occupies the next room — qiatre inch than Mand S. could trot. aan’ In the Snorophone I think I have completed an inven want. With th ent on the ** a fies the sound of a common, every ¢ shore ten thousand times, injector, magnifies it ten thousand times more, ‘Therefore, let one of the * seven sleep ers” tackle the Snorophore: give one little snore, which, through the invention is ten million times a little snore. Y aim if he were dead he would at least burst an ear drum. No doubt, humanity will bless us. To illustrate the grandeur of this machine: We have a dog at our house. I have tried to drown him, but the string broke from the stone and the dog ran home. T tried to poison him, but Jones's dog next door paid the penalty, Big, tall ‘fom Johnston next door suggested that we try the Snorophone. We held the receiver to his n put the injector to his ear and pinched his tail to make him howl. He not only burst his ear- drum but a piece of the magnified howl stuck in his left lung and we gave the ash-man two dollars to carry him ay in the ashes last Thursd Iam in hopes that the Suciety for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals or some other humane society, may take the matter up and distribute the Snorophones gratis, as | am sure no well regulated family or sleeping-car should be without one. on that will relieve a long-felt ‘The end of the Snorophon: comicbooks.com