Judge — November 21, 1885 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Thad or could raise, mortgaged my furni- ture and all that, and put itinto that mine.” And when you got it all in, you found there was no mine there.” “You're wrong there, Mr, Lang, there was a mine, and [ was right in on the ground floor.”. «Then the trouble was that there was no silver in the mine?” “Oh, but there was, It’s one of the best paying pieces of property in Colorado to- day.” “I don’t understand then, if the mine ill right and you were in on the ground 1s you say, how——” Yes, my friend, 1 and the us on the ground ilver’ was there as claimed, floor but the trouble was here: there was another fellow in the cella It was very hard for me to refrain from hing at the old man, but I did, and bit id: “And that’s how you the Philadelphia property?” THE JUDGE. M. Freshmilque on the Reform Administration. “thickness of the head. Butanother discovery? Well on an early morn one of th ome litle minutes in front of breakfast while that the Admin- It may please you well, my friend, when [istration was shaving the side of his count- sling you the fact that M., the Administra- enance in the cabinet shop, one of the ma- tion, has like that humble Christopher, Ad- j Fines 8 med in through the door with a miral Columbus, made a voyage to discover! | very new mule, and demanded: * Will we In the newspapers one reads that some Con- gress members ‘‘ have not dealt fairly with buy he | © Not already; dispatch for the mule the Administration, recommending unfit | doctor first, and let him investigate with persons for off whereby of which M. | some boards of Inquiry, or it may be better the Administration was deceived to make | with a white oak slab.” “some unsavory uppointme that is to Pretty fast the mule doctor arrived back say in best English, appointments of | with the head in a sling. which it is ‘smell too loud,’ or in yet. other words, appointments of which the pole¢ ness Was too numerous! | M. Mackhowlay instructs me with very solemn assure that when the Administration achieved to found out that the Congress members tell not every times that of which the trueness is incredible, but at the con- mnie good? tration. “No good; screw loo fernal loose in the heel: Whereby the Administration stopped in the centre of the shave and kicked up with so great hallelujah that he went pretty close | to cut the neck. demanded the Adminis- in the heel—in- “ , that’s how it happened, I’ saved | trary, express the occasional lies, he bas | Then what passed, it was this: All the enough from the wreck to buy out this house | made a discovery that afMlicts one with the | America is enronsed in hearing of the screw and here Lam. [had very hard luck when | utter astoundishment! “I hy ys | loose! The Fellowcitizens held on their I first came to Monkeymonk, did poorer | Mack, ‘well on toa million of these mem- | breath! ‘The journals lash them with their business even than Lam doing now, I used | bera, and you may take my word for it, | tails each other in grand fury of exeitemen to sit behind that counter hour after hour alone, listening to the roar of the wind in the chimney and the falling of the embers in the grate, It was dull and melancholy enough, It was then I acquired the habit of talking aloud for company’s sake, you know; and from that, being, as I have said, an old hotel man, I got into the way of o dering myself about in the fashion which strikes you as so singular. I would sing out: ‘Front, 406 wants a pitcher of ice- water,’ or ‘ Porter’ get down the baggage goes out by the > "Then boy, the gentleman in 112 whisky cocktail and take this laun- dry to 87.’ Tused to talk this way when lonely and alone and in time acquired the habit of speaking the speech and acting out the parts of all the employes of a first-class house, ow it has become second natare and I do it whether I am alone or not. You understand the old) man, my young friend “Indeed, I do,and thank you for your explanation, Mr. Flush. My cigar is out and I think I'll turn in now, sir.” My friend get up briskly and went be- hind the counter. “Like to go to your room, sir? Here, Front, show the gentleman to 501, Will you le , sir?” “Yes, 8:30. “All right. Good night, sir.” Then poor old Flush came around from behind the counter, picked up my ulster and umbrella and preceded me to my room. Searching for Paradise. asked one dead-broke of another. “Temperance paper—don’t bother me— *mlooking for the place.” “« What place, say “ The article is headed ‘Too much Beer,’ and I want to find out where it is. “A RICH MAIDEN LaDy,” sounds like a contradiction of adjectives or a paradox, but such cases exist, probably, to show the limi- tation of man’s fascination, and rebuke the pride of the sex. | “What are you reading so intently,” every one of them rather than tell a lie, especially rather than tell a lie to get a sim- nle-minded Administration to grind one of his priv xes, would rather—rather— my dear Freshemilque, bust me up with dy- namite, if he wouldn’t rather: rather! I know that your Chamber of Deputies isn’t made up of such stern timber, but, of course, I don’t blame you for it.” It is of no doubt t Mack is able to view into Americans’ politic with a gr foundure, for the Col. W himself to remark, ** Oh, y ‘The political men of Washington, Muck tells me, had snch interest therein that they ex- hausted the legs of M. Willards in bringing to them the great deal liquor-drinks! Republic also pure as it is also. grand! Own we my friend that it has only but too much of true in that which the Colonel in- terrogated me with the sarcasm pretty little concealed: ‘*Comez vous now, mon Frenchy, Confessez vous, would tout your mush-headed old despots out there, from Kaiser Bismarck down t isbury’s Queen, or your dish of French v, ever have the has all them things at his finger is toes.” | gumption to discover a se? lere In effect, my friend Mack 1s distinguished | the Colonel winked me with an eye and for that which the newspapers call * broad- | then go id remark: “By the ness of view,”’ a phrase to me a little ob- soure, but which, if I deceive not, means havez vous un loose quarter FRESCHEMILQU FIRST. COME, FIRST SERVED, ** Gosh blame it! Sum dishonest old nigger has been and com- plelely skinned the chicken coop I was going to patronize mgself! Now tse got to tote around and get acquainted with some other.” comicbooks.com