Judge — November 21, 1885 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE JUDGE. + | beneath the blazing madders I'll lay on.” | cording to Prof. Proctor, but she doesn’t planets nd orbs and one thing and another if || ‘There never rose madder crank in folly’s | look itto me. ‘The duke of Argyll main- have fun on the quict, you are grossly ignor- Pa m,and Ido pity now thy household, | tains that she is 1¢,000,000 years old last | ant of their habits. i || girl, ‘Thy flush conceit thou’lt dip in pris- | August, but what 1 ordinary duke | ‘The earth is about half way between Mer- | mic tints, a loading up thy mania with | know about these thi So far Tam cury and Saturn in the matter of density | Hi) | the same, thou'lt spatter all the chattels cerned [ will put Proctor’s memory | Mercury is about the specific gravity of iron, || " with the fle Walls, window-curtains, | against that of any low-priced duke that I) while that of Saturn correspor 1s with that — | ( | bedsteads, panels, trunks, pans, kettles, | have ever seen. of cork in the matter of density and specific i] | bread-boards, wash-tubs, and the like, thou swton claimed that the earth would gravity, The earth, of course, does not i) | wiltdedizen with thy palette’s gore and | gradually dry up and become porous, and Compare with Mercury in the matter of ai) florid poppys, jaundiced marigolds, and | that water would at last. become a curiosity, solidity, yet it is amply firm for all practical — | Wi such will ooze their ochre and. brick-red | Many believe this and are rapidly preparing A negro who fell out of the | i from every cranny i? thy bailiwick, Oh, [| their systems by a rigid course of treatment, twelve-story building while try- i have waded through this deluge, child! I | go that they ean live for years without the ing to clean the upper window by drinking have two sisters that have schooled a week | uge of water internally or externally phol and then breathing hard at Count Daubins’s i’ the market place, and |“ Orher scientists who have set up nights to says that he regards the earth 1 they have frescoed all our firmament, and | monkey with the solar system, 4nd there. & Perfectly s id safe to do business on | A flecked the walls with erysipelas, nor stayed | }\’chaitered their nervous systems, claim for sears to come. He claims that those i their pigment-reeking camel’s hair till bald | ¢fiat the early la wattive tench "at the Who maintain that the earth's crust is only ‘ ; f : ‘ op heavy at the | pate of me grandsire they'd veneered with | North pole. and. that Of theve, dag 22200 miles in thicknces have not thoroughly | ’ || sunflower featured like a mustard-draft, while we are thinking of something eles, tested the matter by a system of practical | ee, || to, Andromeda, thou’rt not too tol Affixthy | pile BG are UMNSINE Of something else experiments. } genius i’ some other groove, for Xerxes-host | and the vast accumulation of second-hand he poles of the carth are merely imagin- } | | | f anashiroors nee 0: wilt von comple ton | artic relief expeditions, will jerk the ary. ov ite o print hit atement i a large | | | PWR DIBOE Scere CaAe Bes ome out of its present position ‘with so much PF f gail sane. ae Sep | will attend their truil and sweep them head- | shontancity, and in such an extremely forth- Witton of great writers on this subject who } long i’ the broiling Styx. Sithoenaiice, tot susery et still cling to the theory that the earth re- Yonkers Gazette. anner, that many people will be per volves upon large poles and that the aurora } [Yo | manently strabismnssed and) much brie: | ! i — \t will be for sale at a great sacritic — == | THE DIFFERENC | This n or may not be true. I have not | i ; been up in the artic regions to investig: thirty daya of the use i hold, two frlends'go forth to-day; its truth or falsity, though there seems » lebratest We He with Bleetric: Suspen | Both are on pleanire: bent; be a growing éentiment througl | One to'the Leach & bis way, country in favor of my going. | | To watch the waves toss high their spray, many people during the past ye; \] | | a Fe eet Meee teeny, | weitten me and given me their eons | aan ra eet ice F If I could take about twenty good, pi , ow, what's the difference twixt the to? | men and go up there for the enmiuier ine ee re ees wih eas stead of bringing back twenty picked men I ] Tis simply: this, One:soes: be sights, | wouldn't mind the trip, and I feel that we The otberalgnte' ie sen . reall it to have alarger colony on ice \| [Boston Courier, | in that region than we have now, - | . — The earth is composed of land and water. BILL NYE ON THE EARTH. Some of the water has large chunks of ice | The earth is that body in the solar system | in it. The earth revolves around its own i | which most of my readers now reside upon, | axle once in twenty-four hours, though it | id | and which some of them, I regret to say, | seems to revolve faster than that and to | } modestly desire to own and control, forget- | wobble a good deal during the holidays. | ting that the earth is the Lord’sand the | Nothing tickles the earth more than to con- : | fullness thereof. Some men do not care | fuse a man when he is coming home late at | ) | who owns the earth so long as they get the ht, and then to rise up suddenly and hit | ki fulln him in the back with « town lot. People } The earth is 500,000,000 years of age, ac- | Who think there is no fun or relaxation ] - among the heavenly bodies certainly have i | not studied their habits. Even the moon is | ; a humorist. \| bd | A friend of mine who was returning late | } at night from a regular meeting of the So- | : | ety for the Amelioration of the Hot Fe oe ‘|| said that the earth rose up suddenty ! PERFUMES. | nt of him and hit him witha right of oy J | i and as he was about to rise up again | MN Lananores Perfume, Tie ana | be was stunned by a terre blow between THE UNITED STATES RELLDING CO, il Lundborg’s Perfame, Alpine Violet the shoulder blades with an old land grant WU MILD: D Landborg’s Perfume, Lily of the Valley. | that he thought had lapsed years ago. $2 Liberty Street, New York. | § When he staggered to his feet he found that shart anthly LUNDBORG’S the moon, in order to add to his confusion, aici H had gone down in front of him and risen Good f RHENISH COLOGNE. again behind him, with her thumb on her H | bor containing nose, | " w as > I say, without fear of successful con- way & Pitta RRL, SOR ASRS oo CBS'S Chirvr, 96 arsiay 0,500 Tort, | tradiction, that if you do not think that Wass. ate Ruerty Street, X. { = ————_ Wruas HL. Do rest and Treas, Elizabeth, N, J j | Steographer, N.Y. Supreme Artistic Eiome Furnishings 1 Wits A. Doxse JAMES B. 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