Judge — November 14, 1885 — page 3: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

TROUBLE BOYS GIVE THE POLICE. The German Policeman and his Friend Reilly Tell of the Pranks of their Sons. By Julian Ra said the Geri Policeman; “der poys peen der vorst citizens uf Ny York und tond you forg Sferypoddy » has some sord of peez got. Der scan be relied on to shdeal, der trank- but a poy shall peen ysis ula boliceman’ teilly, dudy said the blacksmith; you should be'the lasht to complain whin’ ye have the worrst- wan among the b'yes for your own son.” ish dot so?” the Policeman ex- , sureastically; ‘vell, your leedle » Mike, is not much dime. vasting began to dry und build up for him: shion. Now [ yoost Ofticer Pillings from ine sbend yoosta leedle chy in trinking mit gandi- lasht veck, und ven y der officer sat on a und fell ashlee ashleep in i ion bum. [vos my eye ke on der bolicemnan ven T seen your poy, Mike, dook off der bum’s hat und ‘put it on der boliceman, und dook avay der boliceman’s ate hausted. vos a com glub, pelt und hat und put dem on der bum. An Irishman vould dink dot choke, eh?” * Vis, sorr,” said Reilly; dollar to have been in your place. “Vell, dot’s not funny py me to see mon- lave a bolicemans, und | ed dot lufly poy uf yours, ind ing to vrighten owd uf him der. tickens. Vot you dink ne; Vell, mit der c uf a stag » your poy vispered to f T vould not lock up der feller vich he vould dell me yoost icer,” he sayt; ‘it vos your son, Chaky Pedder you look owd, Reilly, or dot poy vill your red hair pring down in sorrow mit der grafeyard. ** Now, I know who it vos vich mate mit de ights of Bittyns all dot drubbles der oder day. — You didn’t he: apowd dot? Vell, von nighd a gubble veeks beck uf Fort uf Chuly, { seen der Grant | High Gockaloram from der sociedy glimb- ing der gutter bipe down py der sitevalk. | Ife hat der whole peezness uf vhite abron, golt collar und such dings on und he vos vos a goot “T wud give a who he vos. THE JUDGE. vhite like a sheet uf baper, He dolt me der resd uf der High Gockalorums und. bri- fates had chumped der back vindows owd or mbed der roof on dop. Some poys hat r key found uf der lodge room door, had der Knights all locked in, had durned off der gas owd, und negst vent py der beck yard und 1 didn’t catch some uf dem poys, but der negst day comes from ing me der briv ot der whole pe sr vork uf my son, Chaky, ven, py y Hooky, Chaky vos dot dime in ped vhile his mutter should halluf sole und heel der only bair drousers vot he “Shall [take the shkin off av that b’ye?” Reilly asked, in evident a Yoost dake avay a lecdle off, inv vhore it von’t show,” said the Police “Twill dot regard as a grade broof uf “Oi'll do that,” said Mr. Reilly; © bu I'd loik be the ease wid my b’ye, your b’y surely in lague wid the Divil. ’Fwhat shto think he shtarted on me woife in ghborhood d’other day? Sure, he tonld all me frinds that the Dootch grocer on the carner was bating me woife, and that she tonld him so an’ said she was id to complain av the same to me lesht wud do murdher, Well, sorr, I had tin min an’ wimmin in the shop to make it known to me. Mad wid rage, I shtarted for me home wid the whole troop follying me, and there sat me woife, lolling in’ the windy loike a fashinable lady, wid a pillow undher her el- bows, as and free from blows as iver she was since the Lord took her fath ay, an’ she a child. " “*Sure,’ said she, ‘the b’ye is only jok- ing wid yez. I tould him if the Dootchman thried to sell his mother anny tay wid the promise av getting a proize in crockery, for her not to buy av him, as he had bate me out av tin pounds av good tay wid givin’ me poor stuff and ixchanging me tin tickets for a butther dish in plac the dinner set he hinted to me I would be afther getting. Sure, that’s the only bating I was afeard fer you to hear av.’ * Bad cess to your t ; me friends I laughing ‘at me and axing me ivery ydid I murdher the Dootchman yit for bating me woife.” “*So,” said the Policeman; sorry you can’d dake a choke, but I tond yoost see how I shall bead my poy for dot. Tt shows a fine sense uf humor und crade indelligence. Der only dings vot I got to dell him is how he shall keeb avay mit his “*vell, Tam monkey peezuess from such a bardickler frent like your : Vil lick me let you do as ye please this I'll tell ye ‘ye or he'll be afther bating that joke and think it over own wid yez'll bate yer you. Take OFF THE BENCH. Tur Pray or jatea,” at expired the Star, y the statue of limitation, “ Alone in efforts Ame moters to secure English capital? Is tite founded on the PLAY, “THAT MAN makes me tired,” as the It eaid it with its waggin’ tongue, poor felloe. vehicle said to the blacksmith, s sweeping like a cyclone swath of ion bebin because it is not published in Texus and is not > up of siftings—in fact, like mercy, is not even strained, in its wit. ma Josu Bitnines earned a hundred thou- sand dollars by his wits and bad spelling, but some men have made a million without the wit and they were worse spellers, too. A CONFECTIONERY STORE was fou 2th 1 to be a disorderly house and the “it. They disguised their in- tention by giving out tnat they had been in- vited out to a candy pull, on St. A“ pRUrreen VINE” was boa her twins, “they looked so exactly “Well,” or, T don’t see anything suspicious in that.” that you conldn’t tell em apart.” her antique maiden neight Tur evipence in the Taber divorce suit in Boston ought to increase the list of mem- bership of the Bowdoin Square Baptist Church, Sinners evidently know little of the joys of the regenerate, Tuey nrovent Fisit from his ward in Auburn to bait Ward in New York. The al opinion seems to be that Fish has ** done the state some service” in both pla- ces and ought to be let go, gen Sor oxr Rev. Sam Jones, the funny man of the revival eireuit, of bad grammar, he repels the charge by proving that his gra’mar is ¢ having accused and was as good as the ancestors of humorists average. | A Memputs parer has a solemn account | of an alligator with a natural screw-propeller | attached to it. The paper does not imperil its reputation by trying to account for the freak, so THe JupGE (which doesn’t care) offers the suggestion that this alligator’s parent was probably frightened by a steam- | boat at a critical period. comicbooks.com